How to Start a Conversation with a Girl on Instagram: 10+ Tips to Get Her Chatting

PDF download Download Article
PDF download Download Article

Striking up a conversation with someone IRL is tough enough—but figuring out what to say on Instagram might be even harder. If you stumble across someone that seems super cool but you just can’t figure out what to say, you’re not alone! Fortunately, there are a lot of different ways you can open up a dialogue with a girl.

Here are 11 foolproof ways to start a conversation with a girl you like on Instagram.

Examples of Conversation Starters to Grab a Girl's Attention

1

Comment on her pictures.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/7\/75\/Start-a-Conversation-with-a-Girl-on-Instagram-Step-1.jpg\/v4-460px-Start-a-Conversation-with-a-Girl-on-Instagram-Step-1.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/7\/75\/Start-a-Conversation-with-a-Girl-on-Instagram-Step-1.jpg\/v4-728px-Start-a-Conversation-with-a-Girl-on-Instagram-Step-1.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    If you frame them as questions, she’s much more likely to respond to you. Keep your comments respectful and friendly for a better chance of a fun conversation . Try comments like: [1]
    • “Wow, this beach is gorgeous. Was this last summer?”
    • “I didn’t know you went skydiving! Was it scary??”
    • “Your little brother is so cute! How old is he now?”
    2. Advertisement
2

Reply to her story.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/2\/2d\/Start-a-Conversation-with-a-Girl-on-Instagram-Step-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Start-a-Conversation-with-a-Girl-on-Instagram-Step-2.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/2\/2d\/Start-a-Conversation-with-a-Girl-on-Instagram-Step-2.jpg\/v4-728px-Start-a-Conversation-with-a-Girl-on-Instagram-Step-2.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    If she posts something interesting, try sending a DM in response. You can ask her where her food’s from (if she posts a food pic), ask about her vacation (in response to a beach picture), or even give her a compliment (if she posts a cute selfie). For example:
    • “That sandwich looks so good. Is that the new place on Hawthorne?”
    • “Whoa, look at those views! Is this near Venice Beach?”
    • Follow the girl on Instagram before you DM her. This can make her more likely to look at your message and respond.
    • Reader Poll: We asked 739 wikiHow readers, and 52% of them agreed that it’s important to ​​follow your crush on social media before you slide into their DMs. [Take Poll]
3

Introduce yourself.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/66\/Start-a-Conversation-with-a-Girl-on-Instagram-Step-3.jpg\/v4-460px-Start-a-Conversation-with-a-Girl-on-Instagram-Step-3.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/6\/66\/Start-a-Conversation-with-a-Girl-on-Instagram-Step-3.jpg\/v4-728px-Start-a-Conversation-with-a-Girl-on-Instagram-Step-3.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Start a conversation with a stranger by telling her your name. This works well if you don’t know the girl at all and you’re just trying to make new friends (or flirt a little). Keep your message simple and casual so she doesn’t feel pressured. Say something like: [2]
    • “Hi, I’m Kevin. What’s your name?”
    • “Hey, nice to (digitally) meet you. I’m Lauren.”
    2. Advertisement
4

Reference your mutual followers.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/7\/78\/Start-a-Conversation-with-a-Girl-on-Instagram-Step-4.jpg\/v4-460px-Start-a-Conversation-with-a-Girl-on-Instagram-Step-4.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/7\/78\/Start-a-Conversation-with-a-Girl-on-Instagram-Step-4.jpg\/v4-728px-Start-a-Conversation-with-a-Girl-on-Instagram-Step-4.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Open up a conversation by asking how she knows your friends or mutual followers. Or, simply point out how weird it is that you both know so many of the same people. For example: [3]
    • “Wow, we have like 20 followers in common. How have we never met before?”
    • “Hey, do you know Mark? I think we met at his party last month.”
5

Send her a meme.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/0\/02\/Start-a-Conversation-with-a-Girl-on-Instagram-Step-5.jpg\/v4-460px-Start-a-Conversation-with-a-Girl-on-Instagram-Step-5.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/0\/02\/Start-a-Conversation-with-a-Girl-on-Instagram-Step-5.jpg\/v4-728px-Start-a-Conversation-with-a-Girl-on-Instagram-Step-5.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Pick out a meme from your personal collection (or find one on Instagram) and DM it to her privately. If you aren’t sure what to send, take a look at her page to get a read on her sense of humor. [4]
    • If you’re having trouble finding something, try searching “meme” on Instagram to see what’s popular right now.
    2. Advertisement
6

Talk about something from her page.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/f\/f8\/Start-a-Conversation-with-a-Girl-on-Instagram-Step-6.jpg\/v4-460px-Start-a-Conversation-with-a-Girl-on-Instagram-Step-6.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/f\/f8\/Start-a-Conversation-with-a-Girl-on-Instagram-Step-6.jpg\/v4-728px-Start-a-Conversation-with-a-Girl-on-Instagram-Step-6.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    If you find something interesting or a hobby that you two have in common, open up with that. [5] Try not to scroll too far down, though, as bringing up a post that’s 2 years old can be a little creepy. Try saying something like: [6]
    • “Whoa, is that the new Nikon camera in your last post? I’ve been wanting to try that one out.”
    • “I didn’t know that you were a surfer! How long have you been riding the waves?”
7

Pick up an in-person conversation.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/69\/Start-a-Conversation-with-a-Girl-on-Instagram-Step-7.jpg\/v4-460px-Start-a-Conversation-with-a-Girl-on-Instagram-Step-7.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/6\/69\/Start-a-Conversation-with-a-Girl-on-Instagram-Step-7.jpg\/v4-728px-Start-a-Conversation-with-a-Girl-on-Instagram-Step-7.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    She won’t be weirded out by your DM since you two already kind of know each other. Send a quick message that references your earlier convo to jump start her memory. For example: [7]
    • “Remember how weird Mr. Albert was acting in class today? I wonder what was up with him.”
    • “Hey, we never finished comparing our favorite authors! I’m still hung up on the fact that you don’t like Philip K. Dick.”
    2. Advertisement
8

Send a flirty selfie.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/a\/ad\/Start-a-Conversation-with-a-Girl-on-Instagram-Step-8.jpg\/v4-460px-Start-a-Conversation-with-a-Girl-on-Instagram-Step-8.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/a\/ad\/Start-a-Conversation-with-a-Girl-on-Instagram-Step-8.jpg\/v4-728px-Start-a-Conversation-with-a-Girl-on-Instagram-Step-8.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    If you’re feeling yourself, you can risk a cute or funny selfie . Try snapping a quick pic and sending it to her privately with a witty caption. Make sure your picture is appropriate so you don’t creep her out. Try a caption like: [8]
    • “Felt cute, might delete later.”
    • “Should I post this on my feed? Be honest.”
9

Try a cheesy pickup line.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/3\/37\/Start-a-Conversation-with-a-Girl-on-Instagram-Step-9.jpg\/v4-460px-Start-a-Conversation-with-a-Girl-on-Instagram-Step-9.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/3\/37\/Start-a-Conversation-with-a-Girl-on-Instagram-Step-9.jpg\/v4-728px-Start-a-Conversation-with-a-Girl-on-Instagram-Step-9.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Pick something non-sexual to keep the conversation light hearted and fun. If she likes your line, it’s a great way to start a flirtatious conversation without a ton of pressure. Try something like: [9]
    • “Do you like raisins? How about a date?”
    • “Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only 10 I see.”
    • “I was wondering if you had an extra heart—mine just got stolen.”
    2. Advertisement
10

Give her your number.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/2\/2d\/Start-a-Conversation-with-a-Girl-on-Instagram-Step-10.jpg\/v4-460px-Start-a-Conversation-with-a-Girl-on-Instagram-Step-10.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/2\/2d\/Start-a-Conversation-with-a-Girl-on-Instagram-Step-10.jpg\/v4-728px-Start-a-Conversation-with-a-Girl-on-Instagram-Step-10.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Or, you can send them over if you aren’t a fan of DMs or you aren’t on Instagram a lot. This works well if you two know each other in real life or have talked a little bit beforehand. Say something like: [10]
    • “Hey, you seem super cool. Here’s my number if you want to chat more.”
    • “Heyo, we met at Sean’s party last week. Wanted to send you my digits in case you need someone to show you around the city.”
11

Post something you know she’ll respond to.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/0\/0f\/Start-a-Conversation-with-a-Girl-on-Instagram-Step-11.jpg\/v4-460px-Start-a-Conversation-with-a-Girl-on-Instagram-Step-11.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/0\/0f\/Start-a-Conversation-with-a-Girl-on-Instagram-Step-11.jpg\/v4-728px-Start-a-Conversation-with-a-Girl-on-Instagram-Step-11.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    If you know a few things about this girl (what her hobbies are, what she likes to do, where she likes to eat), try posting a pic on your story to see if she responds. If she does, you can take the conversation from there. [11]
    • For example, if she’s super into the outdoors, post a cool pic of you hiking or biking.
    • Or, if she’s a foodie, post a picture of you trying a new restaurant in town.
    2. Advertisement


Expert Q&A

Search
Add New Question
  • Question
    How many times should I talk to someone online before meeting them?
    Cher Gopman
    Dating Coach
    Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.
    Cher Gopman
    Dating Coach
    Expert Answer
    I'd suggest that you have at least 5 conversations online before meeting up with someone. The exception might be if you meet on Tinder or Bumble and there's a crazy immediate connection where the two of you share some mutual interest, but in general, you want to chat a few times before meeting up.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
    Yes No
    Not Helpful 32 Helpful 79
  • Question
    How can I build a connection with someone over Instagram?
    Cher Gopman
    Dating Coach
    Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.
    Cher Gopman
    Dating Coach
    Expert Answer
    Try to find a mutual interest that both of you share and lean into that. It's a lot easier to connect with someone if you have something in common that gets both of you excited.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
    Yes No
    Not Helpful 35 Helpful 78
  • Question
    How do you start a conversation with a non-binary person on Instagram?
    Community Answer
    Talk to them as you would do with anyone else, except don't use gendered pronouns or words. Just talk about stuff you like, and listen to them talk about that stuff back. It's that simple.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
    Yes No
    Not Helpful 38 Helpful 34
See more answers
Ask a Question
200 characters left
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
Submit
      Advertisement

      Video

      Tips

      Submit a Tip
      All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published
      Submit
      Thanks for submitting a tip for review!
      Advertisement

      Warnings

      • Never send an inappropriate or sexual photo without asking first.
        Thanks
      • Remember that harassing her can be considered cyberbullying and may result in a report being filed against you.
        Thanks
      • Be careful what you post on Instagram. Inappropriate content or offensive comments can lead to consequences like reprimands or account bans. Be mindful of your content and language on the platform.
        Thanks
      • When trying to flirt with her online, remember to be mindful of her relationship status and how she feels about you to avoid being blocked.
        Thanks
      • If you want to keep things smooth with her, it might be best to avoid asking her to post revealing pictures. After all, you wouldn’t want to be blocked!
        Thanks
      Advertisement

      You Might Also Like

      The Ultimate Collection of Funny, Cheesy, & Romantic Rizz Lines
      How to
      Start a Text Conversation with a Girl
      How to Respond to "What's Up?"
      What’s the Difference Between “How Are You Doing?” and “How are You?”
      150+ Things to Talk About With Your Crush: Deep, Flirty, & Funny Topics
      How to
      Compliment a Girl's Picture
      15+ Things to Say to Someone Before Surgery
      How to
      Ask for a Sick Day over Text
      How to Respond to a "How Was Your Weekend?" Text
      How to
      Talk to a Shy Girl
      How to
      Keep the Conversation Flowing with a Girl (for Guys)
      How to
      Come Up with Good Conversation Topics
      How to
      Start a Conversation on Hinge
      What it Means to be a "Ride or Die" Friend or Partner
      Advertisement

      References

      1. ↑ https://bestlifeonline.com/instagram-flirting/
      2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/202012/what-is-your-flirting-style-how-do-you-flirt
      3. ↑ https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2017/03/146596/how-to-slide-into-dms-instagram-guide#slide-4
      4. ↑ https://swipelife.tinder.com/post/online-flirting
      5. ↑ Cher Gopman. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.
      6. ↑ https://bestlifeonline.com/instagram-flirting/
      7. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=225&v=8dx6bNyVUxE&feature=youtu.be
      8. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/202012/what-is-your-flirting-style-how-do-you-flirt
      9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/202012/what-is-your-flirting-style-how-do-you-flirt
      1. ↑ https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2017/03/146596/how-to-slide-into-dms-instagram-guide#slide-3
      2. ↑ https://bestlifeonline.com/instagram-flirting/

      About This Article

      In other languages
      Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 911,582 times.

      Is this article up to date?

      Advertisement