Ah, love. You’re head-over-heels for someone, and you’re ready to tell them exactly how you feel. Whether your love is a crush, a long-term partner, or someone in between, a love letter is the perfect way to sweep them off their feet. Here's our complete guide for helping you start writing a love letter that really captures your emotions, with expert advice from dating coach Crista Beck!
How do you start a love letter?
- Find beautiful stationary to write the note on to make it feel special and romantic.
- Write a simple salutation followed by their first name ("Dear Amy").
- Explain why you're writing the note (i.e., "I was thinking about you.").
- Start with a famous romantic quote if you can't think of anything else to say.
Steps
How to Start a Love Letter
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Start the love letter with a salutation followed by their first name. Your love letter is personal, so refer to the person you love by name at the very beginning. Use a simple salutation such as “Dear,” “For,” and “To.” Then write your crush's name or preferred nickname. [1] X Research source
- You might, for example, write “Dear Alexander,” “For Alex,” or “To A.”
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Include a term of endearment in the greeting for added romance. Show your personal connection to the recipient by calling them a special name. One easy option is to use a pet nickname you already call them. Alternatively, try a flowery term of endearment to set the tone for an old-fashioned, romantic love letter vibe.
- Good examples of flowery, romantic greetings are “Dear Beloved,” “To my heart,” “Oh, my darling,” or “Mi Amor.”
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Begin the body of the love letter by explaining why you’re writing it. Writing those first few lines is hard, so don’t sweat it if you’re having trouble. One easy way to begin your letter is to give a reason why you’re writing it. In 1-2 sentences, tell your recipient what made you decide to write a love letter today. [2] X Research source
- Say, “I’ve been thinking about you a lot today, and I wanted to tell you how I feel,” “Ever since the night we first met, I just can’t stop thinking about you,” or “I know you’re the one for me, and it’s time I told you that.”
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Start with a quote if you’re struggling with what to write. Expressing how you feel is super hard, so don’t worry if you can’t think of anything to say. Once you start writing, it’ll be easier to share your feelings. To get your letter going, try referencing a famous quote about love that makes you think of your partner. [3] X Research source Here are some great options you might consider using:
- “I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.” - John Green
- “One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love.” - Sophocles
- “When you love someone, you love the whole person, just as he or she is, and not as you would like them to be.” - Leo Tolstoy
- “You can’t blame gravity for falling in love.” - Albert Einstein
- “Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.” - Aristotle
What to Write About In a Love Letter
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Tailor your love letter to fit the recipient’s personality. Consider what your recipient likes and enjoys when you’re writing your love letter . For instance, decide if they like things that are more sentimental or more humorous. Write your letter with them in mind so it feels more personal to them. [4] X Research source
- Let’s say your love is very sentimental. You might focus on memories with them and take a serious tone. You could write things like, “As I watched you on the beach yesterday, all I could think about is how lucky I am. You’ve changed my life for the better, and I’ll be forever grateful.”
- If your love is more lighthearted and funny, you might try a fun, upbeat tone and recount funny moments together or inside jokes. You could write, “I still remember that time we ate pizza off the floor because we were too lazy to make another one. You compl-eat me.”
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Recount a memory if you’ve been with the person for a while. To show your love and regard for your partner, Beck suggests writing to them about a special memory you shared. It might be the first time you met, the moment you knew you were in love, or a time you felt really close to them. Or, she says, it might be "a very simple moment that really touched your heart, but you never told them about it." Recalling these blissful scenes will communicate what's in your heart better than simply saying, "I love you."
- You could write something like, “On the night of our first anniversary, you surprised me with a candlelit dinner you made yourself. Enjoying your handmade meal made me feel more loved than any fancy restaurant ever could. In that moment, I knew no one ever loved me like you do.”
- Reader Poll: We asked 1148 wikiHow readers, and 57% of them agreed that the memory they cherish the most about their relationship is the moment they first met their partner or felt sparks fly . [Take Poll]
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Praise specific details about them so your love letter is more meaningful. Avoid listing vague adjectives to describe your loved one or general things that could apply to anyone. Instead, Beck suggests describing the specific qualities that make them special to you and touch your heart; it can be tender, cute, or even quirky things about them. This will make your letter more personalized and help the recipient feel extra appreciated.
- For instance, you might be tempted to write things like, “You’re amazing, smart, beautiful, and fun to be around.” These things are nice, but they’re pretty generic. Instead, you could write, "I’ve never met someone who can bake as well as you do," "You tell the wittiest jokes," or "I could stare into your eyes all day."
- Similarly, don’t just say, “I like spending time with you.” Instead, elaborate on that feeling with real-life examples, like this: “Whether we’re hiking trails, listening to new music, or crashing in front of the TV, every moment with you is exciting.”
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Write in a positive tone about your relationship to keep the mood light. Focus on the things you love about your relationship (if you have one already) instead of mentioning the messy parts, even in jest. This isn’t the time to point out your problems or discuss how you want your relationship to improve in the future. Stick to good memories and anecdotes so the mood of the letter stays light and the recipient feels happy reading it. [5] X Research source
- Write things like, “Every day with you is a gift,” “On the day I met you, I knew I’d fall hard for you,” or “I’m amazed by your smile, your laugh, and your pure heart.” Alternatively, Beck says, let the person know "how their love has changed your life for the better."
- Leave out sly digs dressed up as compliments, like, “I know we have our problems,” “One day we’ll be the couple we want to be,” or “I might get annoyed with you sometimes, but I know deep down you’re the right person for me.”
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Try expressing your feelings in a love poem. Love poems have been making people swoon since the dawn of time (or at least since William Shakespeare)! Let your passions inspire you as you write a few lines about an experience you shared with your partner or crush, or compare your love to something meaningful. Don't worry about format or rhyming; just write a poem that comes from your heart. [6] X Research source
- For instance, you might write a poem about your first date or how your heart beats faster when they're around. Similarly, you might compare them to something like a cleansing rain that refreshed you, sunlight that helped you blossom, or arms that lifted you up.
How to End a Love Letter
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End the letter with your hopes for your future relationship. Your vision of the future may look different depending on which stage you're at in your romance. If you've been crushing on them from afar and this is your first overture, you might end the letter by saying, "I'd love to get to know you more. Maybe I could take you to your favorite restaurant or meet you for coffee." If you've been with them for years, you might say, "I can't wait to see you when I get home" or "I'm excited to spend the rest of my life with you."
- If this is a love letter to your crush, avoid setting up definite plans without talking to them about it in person first. For example, don't write, "I can pick you up at 6 PM on Friday." Instead, write something more open-ended, like, "I'm free on Fridays if you'd ever like to go on a date or hang out." Remember, the goal of the letter is to tell the other person how you feel, not make concrete plans for a date. That calls for a real conversation with both people exchanging ideas.
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Close with a romantic farewell phrase like, "Love" or "Yours forever." You want to leave them with no doubt of your romantic feelings for them. After writing a sweet farewell like, "Love," "Forever yours," or "With love and devotion," sign your first name.
- Try other sentimental sign-offs like, "Fondly," "With all my love," "Eternally yours," and "Affectionately."
- If you're writing to a long-time partner and they have a pet name for you, like "Pooky" or "Sweetie Bear," close with that instead of your name to make it even more intimate.
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For a cutesy touch, write "XOXO" under your send-off. For a little added dash of cheesy romance, consider writing "XOXO," meaning "hugs and kisses," at the end of the love letter. You can use as many XOs as you want, but just know that more than 1-2 pairs might come off as excessive to a crush you don't know very well yet. After you get to know them and start a relationship, feel free to fill up the margins with as many XOs as you want!
Examples to Start a Love Letter
Community Q&A
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QuestionHow can I write a love letter to a celebrity that you are really obsessed with?Community AnswerTell them how you feel and why. Don't expect much, as they probably get lots of these and they may not have time to read yours, if they even see it, but that can still be better than holding it in.
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QuestionHow do I write to her if I don't know if she likes me or not?Community AnswerTry to be open. Make sure everything you say is true, while also making sure that she has a choice. If she feels pressured or harassed, it won't end well.
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Tips
- Draft the love letter on plain paper with a pencil first. Write on a plain piece of paper or a notepad (whichever is handy) and use a pencil so you can erase your mistakes. Go through as many drafts as you need to perfect your message.Thanks
- Look at famous love letters for inspiration. Read love letters between famous historical figures like Robert and Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Oscar Wilde, and Frida Kahlo online. Check out how they expressed their love!Thanks
- Take your time. Set aside plenty of time in your day to reflect on what you want to write and really focus on the task.Thanks
Tips from our Readers
- Use your head for the right words to use in your love letter, and use your heart to remember every lovely thing about your person. Put them together, and you'll have a beautiful love letter!
- Give your partner the letter when you are both alone in a private area.
Warnings
- Don't be creepy. If the person you are sending the letter to has told you they are not interested, don't pester any further!Thanks
- It may not work! Even though you may have put all your heart into your love letter, that doesn't mean the recipient will feel the same as you do. There will be someone else out there for you who will appreciate you for who you are! Try not to dwell on what you could have said better because it could very well be that even though you wrote a wonderful love letter, you and that person just weren't meant to be.Thanks
References
- ↑ https://www.depauw.edu/stories/details/how-to-write-a-love-letter/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-empowerment-diary/202302/how-to-write-a-love-letter-and-poem
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-empowerment-diary/201405/writing-passionate-love-letters
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-empowerment-diary/202302/how-to-write-a-love-letter-and-poem
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/valley-girl-brain/201409/what-makes-great-love-letter
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/valley-girl-brain/201409/what-makes-great-love-letter
About This Article
If you’re writing a love letter, getting started can be the hardest part, even if you’re already in a relationship with the person. Open the letter with a heartfelt salutation, like “Dear John,” or “To the woman I love.” As you start writing, tell the person why your time together has been so meaningful. Use a tone that’s intimate and familiar, and include special references or inside jokes so the letter has an intimate tone. Keep reading for tips on writing a love letter to someone you’re not dating!
Reader Success Stories
- "Tips on how to write the salutation, and types of content to put into the letter (or leave out) were helpful. Overall this article really helped me overcome troubles I was having with a letter I'm currently writing. Thank you for the help." ..." more