Stay-at-Home Girlfriends: Who They Are & How to Become One

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Learn what a day in the life of a stay-at-home girlfriend is really like
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If you’re on TikTok, you may have seen the term “stay-at-home” girlfriend (or SAHGF) floating around. The lifestyle of a SAHGF has blown up, with millions of women idolizing it, questioning it, or trying to embrace it themselves. In this article, we’ll offer you a comprehensive guide to stay-at-home girlfriends. We’ll explain what they are, what a day in the life of a SAHGF looks like, and how you can try to become one.

Things You Should Know

  • A stay-at-home girlfriend is a woman who is completely financially supported by her significant other. Instead of working, she looks after the household.
  • Most stay-at-home girlfriends spend their days cooking, cleaning, relaxing, meditating, and exercising.
  • To become a stay-at-home girlfriend, look for an open-minded partner who makes enough money to support you both financially.
Section 1 of 5:

What is a stay-at-home girlfriend?

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    She takes care of household chores and tasks while her significant other (usually a boyfriend) works and makes money for both of them. A stay-at-home girlfriend’s life is very similar to a stay-at-home mom, minus the responsibility of children. [1]
    • The term originated on TikTok with various women sharing videos of their daily routines as non-working girlfriends. Since its inception in 2022, the trend of stay-at-home girlfriends has exploded in popularity, with over 254 million views.
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Section 2 of 5:

Daily Activities of a Stay-at-Home Girlfriend

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    According to most “Day in the life of a stay-at-home girlfriend” videos, a lot of them spend their time preparing healthy meals and drinks for their partner. They’re usually up at the same time their partner is every morning to make breakfast and coffee for them. [2] They then prepare their significant others a lunch to take to work and make dinner by the time they come home.
    • Juice and coffee culture is also a huge part of the stay-at-home girlfriend lifestyle. Several stay-at-home girlfriends visit coffee shops for lattes and farmers' markets for matcha and green juices on a daily basis. [3]
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    A lot of a stay-at-home girlfriend’s time is spent exercising to stay in shape. She usually goes to the gym shortly after her partner goes to work (though some wait for their partners to get home so they can workout together). [4]
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    Beautification is a major part of the stay-at-home girlfriend. Several mention skincare as one of the first things they do in the morning, and finding a cute outfit is a key highlight of their daily experience. [5]
    • When it comes to skincare, most dermatologists recommend using a gentle cleanser, moisturizer , and high-SPF sunscreen. [6] However, some SAHGF (stay-at-home girlfriends) may go above and beyond and use an ice roller to reduce redness or a vitamin C cream for a glow.
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    SAHGFs usually spend at least an hour a day tidying up their homes by vacuuming, making the bed , and taking care of messes their busier partners may have left behind (throwing clothes on the floor in a rush out the door, leaving dishes in the sink, etc). [7]
    • Other common SAHGF duties include doing laundry, mopping, and dusting .
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    A stay-at-home girlfriend may be asked to take care of daily tasks that their partner can’t perform while away at work. Maybe it’s picking up groceries, maybe it’s making drinks for later that night, maybe it’s a folder to their office that they accidentally left at home. [8] Every day is different in the life of a SAHGF!
    • Not all stay-at-home girlfriends run errands for their partners. However, several do since they have free time and prefer their significant other comes home to the most stress-free household possible after work.
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    Being able to enjoy their partner’s company is a huge reason so many people find the SAHGF lifestyle appealing. Several stay-at-home girlfriends report going for daily walks with their significant others. [9] Others do jigsaw puzzles together. By being able to keep the house in shape throughout the day, they’re able to be much more physically and emotionally present with their s.o at night.
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    Practicing self-care is key to feeling emotionally fulfilled, regardless of your lifestyle. The extra time that SAHGFs have throughout the day just allows them to dig deeper internally and spend a few hours journaling or meditating .
    • Other recommended self-care activities include: spending time in nature, performing deep breathing exercises, and hanging out with friends and family. [10]
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    Part of why the SAHGF lifestyle is so attractive to young people is that it allows for financial freedom and leisure time, away from the hustle and bustle of work culture. A lot of SAHGFs report that their days are spent chilling: pampering themselves with spa days, lunch dates, and shopping trips. [11]
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Section 3 of 5:

How to Become a Stay-at-Home Girlfriend

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    To be a stay-at-home girlfriend, you need to have a partner who’s financially successful enough to support themselves and you. Look for potential mates who work at jobs with high-paying salaries, and be on the lookout for red flags that someone can’t support a stay-at-home partner.
    • Doctors, lawyers, dentists, and business managers (IT, marketing manager, financial officers) at well-established companies usually get paid at least six figures a year. [12]
    • You can usually spot red flags financially on the first date. If they ask you for coffee or drinks instead of dinner and split the bill instead of paying in full, they may be a lovely partner, but they probably don’t have the finances to support a SAHGF lifestyle.
    • If someone grew up with a stay-at-home parent, they’re more likely to be on board with the idea of you staying at home.
    • Assess your priorities before deciding to be a SAHGF. Are you willing to walk away from great matches with meaningful jobs (teachers, non-profit workers, artists), just because they’re less affluent?
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    You’ll need a partner who’s fully onboard with the idea of being the sole breadwinner while you take care of the more domestic tasks. While you probably won’t become a SAHGF until you move in together, try to have an open discussion about you wanting to be one early on in your relationship. The quicker you can get on the same page, the better.
    • People who grew up with stay-at-home parents may be more receptive to this concept.
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    A tremendous part of stay-at-home girlfriends’ time is spent cooking. [13] You want to be able to pamper your partner with food on a daily basis, so practice cooking a diverse set of recipes. Experiment with different flavors, learn how to use spices, and try to gain a basic understanding of steaming, boiling, grilling , broiling, poaching, baking , and stir-frying .
    • If you’re a beginner, look into taking a cooking class or trying to follow a recipe online. [14]
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Section 4 of 5:

Potential Drawbacks of Being a Stay-at-Home Girlfriend

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    A lot of critics have voiced concern that the stay-at-home girlfriend lifestyle is anti-feminist. Since most SAHGFs are heterosexual and live with a boyfriend, their life becomes focused on keeping their man happy. Some people see this as a societal step backward for women since it limits them to domesticity and prevents them from having fulfilling careers of their own.
    • However, true feminism is about women being allowed to make whatever lifestyle decisions they want. As long as they make a conscious choice to be stay-at-home girlfriends, the lifestyle isn’t regressive at all. In fact, many stay-at-home girlfriends are proud and vocal feminists. [15]
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    Most of the women who have gone viral for sharing their stay-at-home girlfriend lifestyle are heterosexual, white, blonde, and conventionally attractive. Because of this, people believe the SAHGF trend glamourizes upper-middle-class women opting out of work that’s most often delegated to poorer people of color. Not everybody has access to this lavish lifestyle, so the trend may have an undercurrent of inequality. [16]
    • In addition, white women don’t have to deal with the same stereotypes for sharing their stay-at-home girlfriend lifestyle. They may be praised for not working, while women of color are labeled as ‘lazy’ or ‘welfare queens.’ [17]
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    A lot of stay-at-home people (girlfriends, wives, parents) experience loneliness and depression from staying at home all day. [18] Without the creative challenge and regular social life of a career, the SAHGF experience can make women feel stagnant and lose their identity in their partners if they’re not careful.
    • A lot of stay-at-home girlfriends recommend getting out of the house at least once a day and spending time with friends 2-3 times a week to keep their spirits up. [19]
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Section 5 of 5:

Key Takeaways

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    They’re not responsible for any major bills (rent, electricity, etc.) and are regularly treated to things like shopping trips, drinks, and meals out by their significant other. In return, they take care of the household by keeping it tidy and cooking meals regularly. [20]
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    There’s still widespread debate over whether or not the stay-at-home girlfriend lifestyle is healthy. Some SAHGFs stop because of loneliness and some people find the lifestyle problematic. [21] However, a lot of SAHGFs are perfectly content and work hard to create a more equitable future for women everywhere. [22]
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    Part of the reason the SAHGF trend has taken off is because it showcases a more gentle, quiet life, outside of the constant grinding of work. If you enjoy a lot of solitude and freedom (and aren’t easily bored), you’ll likely love being a stay-at-home girlfriend.
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Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    How can I grow more as a person while being a staying-at-home partner?
    Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETS
    Clinical Psychologist
    Dr. Asa Don Brown is a Clinical Psychologist with over 25 years of experience. He specializes in working with families, children, and couples, treating a variety of psychological disorders, trauma, and abuse. Dr. Brown has specialized in negotiation and profiling. He is also a prolific author having published three books and numerous articles in magazines, journals, and popular publications. Dr. Brown earned a BS in Theology and Religion with a minor in Marketing and an MS in Counseling with a specialization in Marriage and Family from The University of Great Falls. Furthermore, he received a PhD in Psychology with a specialization in Clinical Psychology from Capella University. He is also a candidate for a Masters of Liberal Arts through Harvard University. Dr. Brown is a Fellow of the American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress and a Diplomate for the National Center for Crisis Management and continues to serve a number of psychological and scientific boards.
    Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETS
    Clinical Psychologist
    Expert Answer
    Explore the passions and pursuits that bring you a sense of meaning and purpose as an individual. Have you thought about engaging in an academic pursuit? Perhaps writing a book or unleashing your creativity in artistic endeavors like painting or home remodeling? The pandemic compelled many individuals to reevaluate their circumstances, especially those without the usual routine of work and social activities. During this time, some people discovered new hobbies, created innovative projects, and found meaning amid uncertainty. What truly motivates you, both consciously and unconsciously? Above all, prioritize identifying the activities and interests that bring you joy as a human being.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.the-sun.com/tech/6531697/stay-at-home-girlfriend-trend-on-tiktok/
      2. ↑ https://youtu.be/DW-J8tsWxD4?t=4
      3. ↑ https://youtu.be/qZvaQZ2hjGo?t=17
      4. ↑ https://www.insider.com/stay-at-home-girlfriends-tiktok-feminism-women-2022-9
      5. ↑ https://youtu.be/yfO5ZZM6oko?t=13
      6. ↑ https://www.aad.org/public/everyday-care/skin-care-basics/care/skin-care-tips-dermatologists-use
      7. ↑ . https://brokelyn.com/how-to-survive-as-a-sahg-stay-at-home-girlfriend/
      8. ↑ https://brokelyn.com/how-to-survive-as-a-sahg-stay-at-home-girlfriend/
      9. ↑ https://youtu.be/qZvaQZ2hjGo?t=16
      1. ↑ https://cmhc.utexas.edu/selfcare.html
      2. ↑ https://www.news24.com/life/relationships/love/relationship/a-day-in-the-life-of-a-stay-at-home-girlfriend-i-get-to-do-whatever-i-want-20220930
      3. ↑ https://money.usnews.com/careers/best-jobs/rankings/best-paying-jobs
      4. ↑ https://nypost.com/2022/06/24/im-an-unashamed-stay-at-home-girlfriend-here-are-my-rules/
      5. ↑ https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource/recipes-2/home-cooking/
      6. ↑ https://www.newsweek.com/stay-home-girlfriend-relationships-social-media-1784112
      7. ↑ https://www.insider.com/tiktok-stay-at-home-girlfriend-trend-bipoc-women-2022-12
      8. ↑ https://www.reuters.com/article/cricket-australia-khawaja-idINKBN2670YX
      9. ↑ https://www.parents.com/parenting/moms/stay-at-home-mom-depression-is-real/
      10. ↑ https://brokelyn.com/how-to-survive-as-a-sahg-stay-at-home-girlfriend/
      11. ↑ https://www.the-sun.com/tech/6531697/stay-at-home-girlfriend-trend-on-tiktok/
      12. ↑ https://www.insider.com/tiktok-stay-at-home-girlfriend-trend-bipoc-women-2022-12
      13. ↑ https://www.reuters.com/article/cricket-australia-khawaja-idINKBN2670YX

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