How to Stay on His Mind

Co-authored by Michelle Jacoby

Last Updated: May 4, 2023 Approved

There is something both romantic and enduring about the thought of invading someone's mind so much that you linger there, even when uninvited... Yet, having such a deep impression that a guy just can't stop thinking about you isn't necessarily easy and for the purposes of a longer term relationship.

Just how do you help to create that enduring spark in his mind so that he can't keep images of you from reappearing again and again, so much so that he wants to be able to reach out and touch you as if you're still there? Well, there are never any guarantees when it comes to desire and love in life but here are some things that might just help you on this elusive quest...

Steps

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1
Be true to yourself . When you spend time around this guy, let him see and know the real you. There is nothing more alluring and memorable than a person who is confident , knows their own mind and has presence. ^{[1]
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Research source} Obviously, this doesn't mean being self-absorbed , bossy or a poor listener; it does mean making it clear that you think for yourself, enjoy life and don't expect to be dependent on anyone.Be considerate but also be forthright, charming and show that you're well-informed about the subjects you discuss together. Making it clear from the outset that you're no clingy type is truly sexy.
- If this guy shows signs of preferring you to be other than who you are, it's not worth embedding yourself in his memory!
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Present yourself at your best. It doesn't matter what you decide to wear, whether it's casual, professional, evening or nightwear, just so long as it's neat, clean and suits your body shape as well as possible. ^{[2]
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Research source} Any woman can look glamorous and beautiful, provided she heeds the simple rules of dressing to suit her appearance and figure rather than being swept away by current fads.
If it's a special occasion, splurge a little and wear something that you know really wows on you. Give him an image to remember!
- Always be well groomed and keep your hair in good shape. A good haircut and a well-made up face can go a long way to creating a favorable first impression . Ensure that your clothes are ironed and clean too, as when they're not, they suggest that you can't be bothered with anything or anyone. That's not likely to make a lasting impression; at least not for a good reason!
- Be charming. The inner glow is the part that will shine forth most in your well-presented self and it is charm that will be long remembered after your physical presence has departed the room. ^{[3]
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  Research source}
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3
Use scent . Scent evokes memories like nothing else can. It is scent that ensures that a person remembers events, people and places, even if unable to quite place the when, where, and the who of course, for it to be of benefit to you, he must be able to place the who and a signature scent can do this for you. ^{[4]
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Research source} But hold on! Don't overdo this aspect – a girl who reeks of perfume can be remembered for all the wrong reasons.When aiming to use scent to provoke memory in your guy's mind, be aware of the following:
- Choose a scent that works for you. Not all perfumes work well with each person and you need to learn which scents work best for you through trial and error. ^{[5]
  X
  Research source} Moreover, they change as women age, so be sure to keep up-to-date By the time you meet the current Mr. Right, be sure to have this aspect well and truly sorted out.
- If you are allergic to scent, or the man you're interested in is allergic to scents, skip this step entirely. Just be clean and have your natural scent. Your own body odor is very pleasant and attractive in a low subliminal way, especially at the middle of your monthly cycle while ovulating. If you track your body rhythms, you may want to schedule memorable dates for mid-cycle so that subliminal pheromone effect hits him hard in the instincts.
- If you haven't had much luck with finding the "right" scent that sums up you, consider seeing a bespoke perfumer . This is a person who will ask you specific questions about your preferences and your lifestyle and will help you to choose the right notes to make up a perfume tailored just to you.
  It costs a bit more but once you get this mix right, you'll easily be remembered by your own signature scent, which can be very hard for anyone else to match.
4
Be a morale booster . Everyone loves hearing praise about themselves and how much they're valued. Of course, there is absolutely no need to overdo it or to gush thoughtlessly but expressing your genuine like of the great things you've spotted in this guy is a sure winner when it comes to being remembered. ^{[6]
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Research source} It's fairly hard to dismiss someone who notices the best about you, so be sure to point out the finer points of this guy as you see them. You'll find this works well for life in general.
- Be a good listener . Wait to hear all he has to say and don't interrupt. Use the opportunity to talk as an opportunity for him to tell you more about himself, not as one for your own stories.
  For yourself, don't reveal too much too soon, as a sense of mystery will definitely leave you on his mind, wanting to know more.
- Say his name throughout your conversation together . It will make him feel special and appreciated by you and it creates a link between both of you that is much more certain than if you just said "hey, you" or failed to mention him by name.
- Be complimentary about his considerate nature, his caring ways, his thoughtfulness. You want more of this, so it never hurts to praise it!
- Notice when he says or does things that mean a lot to you and remark upon them casually to show you're impressed. Repeat information he has shared with you at some point in your conversation to show that you took notice and found it worthy of remembering.
- Be interested in what he's interested in and reflect this in what you say back to him. This is something that does get remembered because it matters to him and engages his attention.
  For example, you may not know much about the sport he likes but reflecting his enthusiasm for a team win or a goal shows that you are at least capable of being interested.
- Even when you disagree with his points of view, do so respectfully and also point out how you appreciate and acknowledge his viewpoint even where you differ.
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Be aware of your body language . It has its own way of lingering in a person's mind, for better or for worse. Good eye contact can help you to connect, while mirroring his actions can create a sense of harmony between the two of you. ^{[7]
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Research source}
Mirroring is an excellent way to inveigle your way into his subconscious mind because it will cause him to think that you're attuned to one another, thereby creating a strengthening connection. Be conscious of the power of gentle touch. Touch, like scent, can be a pathway to being remembered because it awakens a sense of warmth and friendliness. From the time we're infants, gentle touch is a form of lasting connection and care from others, and light, caring touch can invoke affectionate and trusting feelings in the recipient. Of course, don't overdo it or get too effusive and slap the poor guy!
- More than anything else, wear your confidence and belief in your value with a warm smile . That warm smile will linger in his mind longer than anything else.
6
Don't be around all the time and stay the same confident person you are. Being elusive and busy will actually help to impress you upon his memory a lot more than being available the moment he texts or calls. ^{[8]
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Research source} In fact, leave gaps between instant communications methods to help increase the impression you've got a life to lead. When you do respond, be kind and thoughtful but never come across as desperate, stalker-like or sloppy and disinterested. Never contact him when you're drunk or you risk saying things that won't be remembered for the right reasons!
- Keep your interesting life's pursuits going regular as clockwork. Don't be bothered that he'd rather see you; let him know he can see you on the night you're actually free, for real. He'll be enthralled and as curious as can be...
7
Keep it fun . When getting to know a guy, keep things uncomplicated – if you want to make it more intense or complicated, then you're going to give him reason to erase you from memory pretty quickly. ^{[9]
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Research source} Keep your interactions fun, simple and enjoyable, especially while you're still unsure. ^{[10]
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Research source} The deep and meaningful stuff comes later when it turns into something called engagement and marriage and that sure is a long way off, if at all... So keep it light and breezy, so that remembering you is easy!
- Be sure to thank him for time spent together, just before you part. It's nice and it's thoughtful to show gratitude for a fun time spent together. Keep it simple, with something like "Thank you for a really enjoyable day; I had fun." He'll remember that you had fun with him, and you had the presence of mind to let him know it.

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Question

If I dream about him, will he think about me the next day?

Community Answer

There are no guarantees but life can bring coincidences that you never expected. However, it's not something to rely on as a way to stay on his mind; rather, it's him staying on your mind, which will keep you focused.

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He calls me his best friend. Does that mean I am staying on his mind?

Community Answer

It's good to be called his best friend. A best friend is someone who stays in the mind, it's a wholesome image of a reliable and trusted person. If you want to be more than that, you'll need to tell him.

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Tips

Make him feel special when you finally agree to stay in touch by phone. Make sure he knows that you don't give out your phone number to "just anyone" but that you're prepared to take his.

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Give him a picture to remember you by. Take a photo of the two of you together or ask someone else to do it for you. Use your phone camera or be really crazy and jump into a photo booth if you happen to be passing one. In the latter case, give him the photo for his wallet. In the former case, upload the photo to Facebook and tag him, sending a cute comment about his great smile or something and let him know you love that photo. Of course, you're in the photo too, so there's a big reminder! Then just sit back and wait for a response.

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If one or both of you just got out of a relationship and you are hanging out as friends, get to know each other for awhile before taking that next step.

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Warnings

Don't criticize other people and gossip about them. This is the meat of things not to talk about. If you gossip negatively about others including ex-partners, you're telling him that if it doesn't work out, the world is going to know every one of his faults.

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The idea is for him to remember you , not your undies! Keep your assets under wraps until well into the relationship; it doesn't hurt for him to keep imagining what it'll finally be like and it certainly protects your stake in how and when (or if) such intimacy develops.

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If you do show your zany side, that can be as attractive or more attractive than trying to pretend to be "ordinary but a little extraordinary." If you're an extroverted zany clown, you'll attract the type who like being around zany irrepressible comediennes - so don't throttle that back. Just try to keep it positive rather than engage in insult comedy.

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An alternative approach - definitely present your boundaries, allergies and sensitivities early on to filter out partners that would have serious conflicts with them. Otherwise, if you're allergic to seafood, he has no reason not to plan a special evening at a sushi restaurant for you and surprise you with it. Much better that he knows your tastes early on, it'll help him come up with better surprises to treat you!

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Things not to talk about around a new guy you fancy when you want him to remember you for the "right" reasons include exes, dying for a cigarette, feeling like throwing up (for any reason), a tale of woe about your past or present, all the things you can't or won't eat/do/see/share, etc. and anything deeply intimate. In addition, keep your zanier side under wraps (if you have one) until he's more certain that you're someone he'd like to see more of; this doesn't mean you're not being true to yourself, but it does mean that the part of yourself that takes time and good friendship to "understand" should be left out of the getting-to-know-you-better phase.

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