How to Stop Stanning Someone

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"Stan" means a person particularly obsessed with a certain celebrity. The term was popularized in Eminem's song from 2000, "Stan", featuring Dido. It showcased the realities of a person obsessed with a celebrity, whose name was Stan. [1] [2] Being overly concerned about a celebrity's life and wellbeing can take a toll on your mental health. It can distract you from important tasks or aspirations that you want to achieve. If you want to stop Stanning someone, follow the tips below.

Part 1
Part 1 of 2:

Realizing the Signs

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  1. 1
    Check your time on social media. Social media takes up a large part of young people's lives in the present day. If you use social media frequently, think about how and why you use it. Do you use it to advertise your product for work, or to talk with friends? Or, do you use it to check a celebrity's updates? Checking how a celebrity is doing sometimes is fine, but if you check celebrity accounts every day, then you may be obsessed.
    • Think about how many celebrity accounts you follow. Just one or two may be fine, but having so many that your whole feed is related to that celebrity is a sign you may be obsessed.
  2. 2
    Think about how often you talk about them. When you talk with friends, do you talk about the celebrity with them? Do most of your conversations revolve around that celebrity? Do you see your friends trying to change the subject or get irritated when you mention that celebrity? If you have noticed these signs, you may be focusing on that celebrity too much.
    • Another sign is when you change the subject to connect it to the celebrity of your interest.
    • If you are on social media, are most of your posts about the celebrity? If so, you may be obsessed.
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  3. 3
    Keep track of how often, or how many times you think of the celebrity. Do you often daydream about them? Do you lose track of time when you think about them? Do you think about other events or people in your life, or do you mainly think of the celebrity? These are a sign that you are paying excessive attention to them.
    • Another sign is if they show up in your dreams. This happens when you have a lot of exposure to a celebrity. [3]
  4. 4
    Think about how many arguments you have had related to your celebrity. If there are people discussing various famous people, do you frequently stand up for them? When people are criticizing your favorite celebrity, do you engage with them and argue in favor of them? It's fine if you don't agree with other people about celebrities, but getting too involved in "stan wars" is not good for your mental health.
  5. 5
    Know how much you know about your celebrity. If you pay a lot of attention to one celebrity, you probably get to know them as much as possible. Their childhood, teenage years, who they dated, which schools they went to- all of this is easy information. You may know some random facts about them, such as their favorite restaurants, or who their extended family is. If someone quizzes you on them, you may get all the questions correct, and you may even say the test is too easy.
    • If you know a lot of information about this person that others don't, you may be focusing too much on them.
  6. 6
    Note how often you try contacting your celebrity. Some people may try contacting a celebrity online by privately messaging them. Take note of how many times you text them about how they're doing, and what fun things they are doing. But, if you're trying to get your celebrity's real phone number or contact them very frequently, this may be a sign of being a stan. [4]
    • Some people may attempt to send letters to the celebrity's address or stalk them. This is a warning sign that you likely need professional help.
  7. 7
    Know how your emotions are affected. If you are extremely passionate about someone, your emotions will fluctuate depending on how the other person is feeling. For example, if your celebrity won an award, you will probably feel overjoyed and happy for them. If your celebrity has broken up with someone, you may feel disappointed or relieved depending on who the celebrity's ex was. If your celebrity is sick, you may worry about them in your day-to-day life.
  8. 8
    Think about how your life is affected. If you are a stan of someone, the effects will likely show up in your personal and professional life. In school, you may stop paying attention in class since you are daydreaming about your celebrity. At home, your parents may scold you for your electronics usage (related to posting updates on the celebrity). Your friends may notice that you have changed- you may be more distant or sensitive than usual.
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Part 2
Part 2 of 2:

Stopping Your Obsession

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  1. 1
    Understand that you may need professional help. If your obsession is preventing you from functioning in your daily life, you should seek the advice of a therapist. You won't be able to treat your symptoms if they are severe, so getting help from a mental health expert is key.
    • They will probably tell you how your obsession formed, your triggers, and some methods to stop your obsession.
  2. 2
    Take a social media break. If you keep scrolling on social media, you will absorb more content related to the celebrity, which makes it very difficult to stop your obsession. [5] If you frequently post on social media, you can tell them that you are taking a temporary break to focus on your health and well-being. Unfollow unnecessary "stan accounts". Reduce the accounts to just one if it is hard at first.
    • To monitor your social media usage, install website blockers in the browsers you use and uninstall social media apps that you use.
  3. 3
    Distract yourself. When you are thinking about the celebrity, distract yourself with something to do. Do your chores if you haven't yet, write your homework, or talk with your parents about your day. These are your personal priorities that you need to put first. If you miss them, find someone who can fill in that gap. Maybe stanning your celebrity made you less lonely, or cured your boredom.
    • Rejoin your friends or make new ones if you were lonely.
    • Stress-relieve in healthy ways, such as taking part in your hobbies and talking to your support system.
    • Find out what hobbies and interests you enjoy if you were bored.
    • It's best to find a support system that you can actually rely on, instead of getting into an unhealthy parasocial relationship. Real-life family and friends are the best for this.
  4. 4
    Get on track with your personal life. If your personal life was affected because of your obsession, you can try fixing it. Heal any arguments you had with your friends because of the celebrity. Talk about the celebrity fewer times during conversations. If you disobeyed or offended your parents (e.g. by staying up late to watch the celebrity's videos, arguing with your parents about the celebrity), take the time to apologize and make it up to them. Spend extra time with them, since you have time left over from not obsessing over the celebrity.
    • If you are dating someone, you should start spending more time with them. Do small gestures of gratitude so that they know that you have changed.
  5. 5
    Get in track with your work life. Your obsession may have prevented you from doing well at work or in school. If your performance in these fields has suffered, take the time to improve yourself. Clear any clutter or remnants of your celebrity obsession, such as posters and screenshots of celebrity posts. You can keep very important mementos but put them out of your sight. If you are struggling in school, talk to a teacher for help and go to their help sessions.
  6. 6
    Find new activities to do. [6] Your obsession probably took up a large chunk of your time. Now that you are recovering from it, find something new to do. Meet up with your old friends and try out some hobbies they do. You can also make new friends by joining clubs and organizations. At school, you may go to the coding club or the gardening club. At work, hang out with coworkers by eating out together at a restaurant, shopping at the mall, or hosting a karaoke night.
    • Avoid joining activities that are related to your celebrity. For example, if your celebrity loved to cook, don't join the cooking club until you can control your feelings about the celebrity.
    • If you like listening to music, don't listen to your favorite artist's songs for a while until you have completely recovered from your obsession.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.npr.org/2019/10/07/767903704/the-2010s-social-media-and-the-birth-of-stan-culture#:~:text=While%20some%20say%20the%20term,synonymous%20with%20overzealous%20or%20obsessed .
      2. ↑ https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/stan
      3. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/ocd/psychology-of-obsessions#causes
      4. ↑ https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-stop-obsessing-over-someone-8553633
      5. ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/signs-you-need-to-take-a-break-from-social-media
      6. ↑ https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/how-to-stop-obsessing-over-someone

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