11 Ways to Surrender to the Present Moment

Surrendering to the present moment can reduce self-judgment and make your life a lot easier to live. While this is an individual process that may look different for everyone, there are some helpful tips you can use to guide you along your journey. In this article, we’ll teach you how to surrender yourself and live in the now, rather than dwelling on things that have happened in the past. Over time, you’ll come to accept who you are and live in the present moment.

1

Practice mindfulness.

  1. Be fully present with what you’re doing right now, like brushing your teeth, cooking, or even washing your hands. Practicing mindfulness helps you stop unhelpful thoughts in their tracks, and it brings quality into your actions that you wouldn’t otherwise have. [1]
    • Being mindful can be tough at first. Try saying a reminder to yourself, like, “I will be mindful in this moment” any time you catch your mind wandering off. Just like most things, it will get easier with practice.
    • Honor and acknowledge the things that you use rather than making them a means to an end. For example, as you are reading, feel and acknowledge the being of the computer or any device on which you are reading this article.
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2

Dissolve your ego.

  1. Your ego is how you identify yourself: it’s your thoughts and your emotions, which makes thinking compulsive and involuntary. Recognize that ego, and then challenge it to work on dissolving your ego over time. [2]
    • For instance, if you are an anxious person, your ego is telling you that anxiety is a part of your personality that you can’t change. By capturing that thought and challenging it, you’re dissolving your ego and opening yourself up more.
    • Eckhart Tolle, a German spiritual leader and author of The Power of Now , tells us that the ego was once necessary to humanity’s survival, but it isn’t anymore. [3]
3

Accept whatever arises now.

  1. Surrendering yourself is about taking on whatever happens, no matter if it’s good or bad. You might love what’s happening, or you might hate it—but you can’t change it. [4]
    • For instance, maybe you get laid off at work. While this can be a setback and an annoyance, rather than focusing on how bad it is, you can say to yourself, “Okay, this is what’s happening now.”
    • According to Eckhart Tolle, surrendering happens when you no longer ask, “Why is this happening to me?” and instead just accept things as they come. [5] Use every possible setback as an opportunity to grow.
    • When there's true surrender, you clearly see what needs to be done and you take action.
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4

Expect some resistance from your mind.

  1. Surrendering means letting go of the feeling that you can change or influence your own surroundings. This goes against most of what we’re taught to think growing up. As you attempt to surrender yourself to the present moment, don’t be surprised if your mind (and your body) resists you. [6]
    • Remember that you are in charge of your mind and body, not the other way around. You have the power to take control of the situation.
    • Eckhart Tolle recommends smiling and laughing at your thoughts, like you would at the tantrum of a child.
5

Turn negative situations into neutral ones.

  1. During life, you may encounter things like illnesses, grief, or pain that hurt you. When you encounter these problems, try to accept them without question. This gives you control over the situation, and instead of asking yourself why it happened or why you deserve it, you can accept it and move on much faster. [7]
    • Tolle tells us that it isn’t our situation that causes us unhappiness; rather, it’s the thoughts that we have about the situation. Accept your emotions and your thoughts, but don’t allow them to control you.
    • However, Tolle also warns that if you can’t accept the situation and move on, try to remove yourself from it as soon as possible.
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6

Let yourself be lost in thought.

  1. The moment you are not present, thoughts (mind) and the world will take you over. Watch these thoughts and allow them to come and go, but don’t take ownership of them. When you allow or accept or watch what is to be without interference, the light of presence deepens within you. [8]
    • Watching doesn’t mean judging, analyzing, or reacting to your own thoughts. Instead, you can detect them and observe them, but try not to pass judgment.
    • You may find that eventually, your thoughts slow down and you become more of a witness to your emotions. This is a sign that you are inhabiting your inner body more deeply.
7

Challenge your negative thoughts.

  1. Have you ever noticed that before you start a challenging task, your mind becomes quite active? For example, conditioned thoughts and reactions like "this is going to be tough," "I don't feel like running," or "this is a mistake," may start arising. Take those thoughts and turn them into motivation to get started. [9]
    • You’re usually only scared or nervous about something because it’s important. If you start having negative thoughts, it means that whatever it is is worth doing.
    • As a practice, when you catch yourself lost in thinking, especially repetitive, negative, useless, compulsive thoughts and unverbalized reactions, ask questions like, "Who's talking here? Me or the mind?"
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8

Feel your pain instead of pushing it away.

  1. Not wanting to feel pain is a totally normal human reaction, but it’s also unhelpful. The more you push your pain away, the longer it stays with you. Instead, go deeper into your pain: think about why it’s there and what the root cause is. Remember that pain is the thoughts and feelings that you are having toward a situation, not the other way around. [10]
9

Look forward to the future.

  1. It’s easy to get lost in “what-ifs,” especially if you did something (or didn’t do something) that you regret. Train your mind to think about what’s coming next instead of dwelling on things that have happened before. This way, you’re always looking forward to what could be. [11]
    • For instance, maybe you’ve had a string of bad luck lately that you’re eager to get out of. By looking forward to better times in the future, you can give yourself hope that things will change for the better.
    • People who follow Tolle’s teachings often call this “entering the now.” Sure, you might be thinking about the past, but how can you enter the now from there? Start living in the present moment to put the past behind you.
    EXPERT TIP

    Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC

    Marriage & Family Therapist
    Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).
    Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
    Marriage & Family Therapist

    Focus on seeking out new experiences that broaden your horizons and keep life interesting. By finding activities that spark joy, you'll cultivate a more positive mindset and a sense of fulfillment in life.

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10

Appreciate the little things in life.

  1. As we go about our daily routine, it’s easy to get lost in all the negative or bad things that happen. To fully surrender yourself, take a look around you and be grateful for what you do have instead of focusing on what's missing. Even if it’s something small, like a delicious cup of coffee or a great book you read, this simple shift in your thoughts will make you much happier. [12] Here are some small things you might notice throughout your daily routine:
    • The beautiful colors of the sunset
    • The abundance of water falling from the sky as it rains
    • The quality and cleanness of the air that you’re breathing
    • The taste of the water that you’re drinking
11

Be kind to others.

  1. Surrender your time and energy to others to reap the rewards. If you feel like you are lacking something in life then ask yourself, "What can I give in this situation?" Whatever you think people are withholding from you (praise, appreciation, assistance, loving care)—give it to them.
    • You could even volunteer your time to give back to your community in a big way.
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Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    How do I train myself to be present?
    Ira Israel
    Licensed Counselor and Psychotherapist
    Ira Israel is a Licensed Counselor and Psychotherapist who has been in private practice for over 14 years. He specializes in teaching others about happiness and authenticity. Ira teaches sold-out Happiness and Authenticity workshops at Esalen Institute and Kripalu Center and has written over 400 articles on psychology, philosophy, Buddhism, yoga, film, art, music & literature for The Huffington Post, Good Men Project, Mind Body Green, Thrive Global, and Medium. Ira is also the author of How to Survive Your Childhood Now That You’re an Adult: A Path to Authenticity and Awakening. He attended The University of Pennsylvania and has graduate degrees in Psychology, Philosophy, and Religious Studies.
    Ira Israel
    Licensed Counselor and Psychotherapist
    Expert Answer
    You should focus on your anchor! Every person has to find the most desirable anchors for them, and the most common one is the breath. If you're concentrating on your breath and you start to have distractions, just gently guide your awareness back to the breath.
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      • Surrendering won’t happen instantaneously; for many people, it’s a lifelong journey. Keep working at it to see progress little by little.
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      • Being present will lead to greater authenticity, because you'll be able to fully focus on the experiences, conversations and interactions you're having in the present.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/tips-and-support/mindfulness/
      2. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pEnjM1jC1Rw&t=52s
      3. ↑ https://eckharttolle.com/the-power-of-non-resistance/
      4. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/inviting-monkey-tea/201605/when-its-time-let-go-control-and-surrender
      5. ↑ https://eckharttolle.com/the-power-of-non-resistance/
      6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/inviting-monkey-tea/201605/when-its-time-let-go-control-and-surrender
      7. ↑ https://au.reachout.com/articles/how-acceptance-can-help-you-cope-with-things-out-of-your-control
      8. ↑ https://positivepsychology.com/self-awareness-matters-how-you-can-be-more-self-aware/
      9. ↑ https://au.reachout.com/articles/how-to-challenge-negative-thoughts
      1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindful-musings/201611/3-reasons-let-yourself-feel-your-emotions
      2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/202005/how-make-peace-your-past
      3. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/ten_ways_to_become_more_grateful1

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