Polite Ways to Tell Someone They Stink Without Offending Them

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Thoughtfully approach a sensitive issue with colleagues or friends
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"Phew, what's that smell?" is exactly what you shouldn't say when you notice a terrible body odor in the air! In this helpful guide, we'll explain how to politely tell someone they smell (whether you know them well or not), as well as where certain body odors come from and how to compliment someone when their scent delights your senses.

Politely Telling Someone They Have BO

Find a time to speak to the person privately. Be direct but nonjudgmental as you tell them they have a noticeable odor (for example, “I’d like to discuss your body odor today.”). Offer support (“Is there something I can do to help?”) and remember that BO may be caused by a health condition or other personal issue.

Section 1 of 4:

Addressing an Employee Who Smells Bad

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  1. This meeting could take place in one of your offices or an empty conference room. It matters less where and more that no one else can listen to or witness your conversation. Here are professional-sounding ways to invite them to this one-on-one session:
    • "Hi, Sam! I'd like to have a quick meeting with you. Can you come to my office at 4 PM?"
    • "Good morning! Can we take a minute to chat when you get back from lunch? I'll come to your office around 1:30 PM, if that works for you."
    • "Hello, John. Please meet me in Conference Room B at 10:00 AM for a brief meeting. It won't take up much of your time."
  2. There's no need to beat around the bush; this is an unpleasant topic but if you're up-front and business-like about it, you'll cause your employee less embarrassment. Avoid describing the odor or dramatizing the issue. Instead, be kind, concise, and unemotional, like the examples below:
    • "The topic I want to talk to you about today is body odor."
    • "Some of us at the office have noticed that you have a body odor issue. It would be a good idea to address it if you can."
    • "I'll be up-front with you: you have body odor."
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  3. It's possible the other person already knows about their bad smell, but they can't help it because of a health condition or personal issue. They may also not know how to tell they have BO , or they may think their scent is actually pleasant. In any case, you don't know what they're going through, so lead with empathy and offer to do what you can to help them. Below are examples of ways to express your willingness to help and support your employee mitigate their BO (if possible): }
    • "Just know my goal in telling you about your body odor isn't to embarrass you but to let you know it's been a bit of a distraction in the workplace. Is it something you can or would be willing to change?"
    • "I don't know if body odor is something you're aware of or if there's an underlying health reason for it, and you don't have to tell me either way. But just know we're here to support you if there's something else going on that you need help with."
    • "Is there any support we can offer you that would make it easier for you to address this issue?"
    • Tip: Laws like Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 protect employees from discrimination based on characteristics they can't change about themselves, like sex, national origin, disability, or age. If you find out that any of the above characteristics are a contributing factor to their BO, avoid placing restrictions on the employee or trying to fire them, or you'll be violating federal law.
  4. If you're a manager or the owner of a business and you notice that one or more of your employees has a BO problem, you can change the dress code to encourage better hygiene. For example, you could require that all employees are required to wear antiperspirant or deodorant. [1] Try using the script below to politely bring up the workplace dress code and its hygiene rules with your employees:
    • "I just wanted to briefly go over the dress code with you and remind you of some of our requirements. You're not in trouble, but I would appreciate it if from now on, you would adhere to the cleanliness rules in the dress code, especially those regarding using deodorant."
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Section 2 of 4:

Addressing a Coworker Who Smells Bad

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  1. This should be a last resort option, as it could potentially cause your coworker a lot of embarrassment. Only use this tactic when the other person's smell is consistently disrupting your day or making it difficult for you to do your job. [2]
    • Avoid talking to your peer about their BO issue unless you have a good personal relationship with them in and outside of work. Peer-to-peer conversations about serious matters like this don't carry the weight of authority that a supervisor-to-employee conversation does. You also risk offending your coworker and may cause them to try to retaliate against you by telling HR you harassed them.
  2. This may only be possible if the person who smells works in a different part of the office than you. It's easy enough to keep your distance from someone who works across the hall or in a different building, after all. But for people you have to interact with daily, try to book large conference rooms to meet in or decorate your desk space with potpourri or fresh flowers to mask the smell.
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Section 3 of 4:

Addressing Friends or Family Who Smell Bad

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  1. This is the best strategy when you're dealing with a good friend, close family member, or your romantic partner. These people know you mean well and aren't trying to hurt their feelings. Most importantly, you're trying to help them so they don't continue embarrassing themselves with their BO. [3] Be kind when you bring up their smell, even if you know them well. Only joke about it if you're certain the other person would find it funny. For example:
    • "Hey, you may know this already, but in case you don't, I just wanted to tell you that your body odor isn't that great. I don't want you to feel embarrassed about it, but I know I would appreciate it if someone I loved and trusted told me I didn't smell good."
  2. If your friend or family member is suffering from a sickness, disease, or mental health issue, any of those conditions may be contributing to their bad smell. In that case, it's kinder not to say anything at all since they're most likely aware of the problem and may already be doing their best to address it. Bringing it up may only make them feel worse.
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Section 4 of 4:

Subtly Hinting That Someone Smells Bad

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  1. For people you don't know very well or only have an acquaintance with – like a coworker – a subtle gift of antiperspirant, body spray, or body soap may help you drop a hint without being too direct.
    • Depending on whether the other person is aware of their BO or not, a gift of deodorant or body spray alone might be too overt of a hint and could hurt the other person's feelings. Consider giving it to them as part of a larger gift with other, non-scented items in it to make your true intentions less obvious.
    • If the person who smells bad is your coworker and you work with several other people in an office setting, give them all the same thing so it doesn't look like you're singling anyone out.

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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.shrm.org/topics-tools/news/employee-relations/how-to-talk-worker-body-odor
      2. ↑ https://www.shrm.org/topics-tools/news/employee-relations/how-to-talk-worker-body-odor
      3. ↑ https://thewell.northwell.edu/relationshipssexual-health/partner-body-odor

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