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There are some key considerations that go into the decision of how to tell your parents that you are an atheist. First, you'll want to think about the benefits and drawbacks of sharing your news at all. If sharing your beliefs does feel like the best way forward, then there are a few ways to prepare and plan your conversation to help it go as smoothly as possible. Read on for guidance on whether and how to tell your parents that you are an atheist.
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QuestionShould I be honest and tell them what I feel about religion?Dr. Asa Don Brown is a Clinical Psychologist with over 25 years of experience. He specializes in working with families, children, and couples, treating a variety of psychological disorders, trauma, and abuse. Dr. Brown has specialized in negotiation and profiling. He is also a prolific author having published three books and numerous articles in magazines, journals, and popular publications. Dr. Brown earned a BS in Theology and Religion with a minor in Marketing and an MS in Counseling with a specialization in Marriage and Family from The University of Great Falls. Furthermore, he received a PhD in Psychology with a specialization in Clinical Psychology from Capella University. He is also a candidate for a Masters of Liberal Arts through Harvard University. Dr. Brown is a Fellow of the American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress and a Diplomate for the National Center for Crisis Management and continues to serve a number of psychological and scientific boards.I am a firm believer that honesty is always the best policy. And if you think they'll be supportive and open-minded, it might be beneficial to have an honest conversation. However, if you're concerned about their reaction, it might be helpful to consider how important it is to you to share this information. Ultimately, the decision is yours, and there's no right or wrong answer, especially if that is what you feel is right for you.
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Tips
- If the conversation becomes angry, break it off. Do not let it become a shouting match. Wait until they calm down to continue. Leave the room if necessary.Thanks
- Make it clear that this is something you have thought through.Thanks
- Let them know that you are the same person as before, and will continue to be a good moral person.Thanks
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Warnings
- Even if your parents are very accepting people, be prepared to be hurt emotionally - phrases such as "I'm disappointed" and "So you think ( insert name of much-loved deceased friend/relative/pet here ) really is gone for good" are likely to crop up. This could be more difficult for you than for them if you start talking about beliefs like that. Don't get into those complicated things unless they ask.Thanks
- Some very devout and fundamentalist believers might consider a declaration of atheism as grounds for shunning their child completely. If this might be the case, be sure you are ready for the consequences.Thanks
- Sometimes the best thing to do is to do nothing. If they believe that people who don't believe in God go to Hell they will try everything to make you believe again. Also, they will be afraid of their son/daughter going to Hell all the time for the rest of their lives. Of course, it can be hard for you to conceal your lack of faith but it will be a hundred times harder for your parents to live in constant fear and for you to live with your parents trying to make you believe all the time.Thanks
- In some cultures parents feel that they have the right to control every part of a child's life and can punish an errant child physically. In some cultures a father has the power of life and death over his wife and children. Do not put yourself in harm's way. [6] X Research sourceThanks
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Expert Interview
Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about family dynamics, check out our in-depth interview with Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETS .
References
- ↑ https://www.atheists.org/activism/resources/about-atheism/
- ↑ https://www.dictionary.com/e/atheism-agnosticism/
- ↑ https://www.nationalgeographic.org/news/coexist-foundation/
- ↑ https://www.childline.org.uk/get-support/ask-sam/home-and-families-asksam/how-should-i-tell-my-very-religious-parents-i-am-an-atheist-/
- ↑ https://slate.com/human-interest/2019/03/dear-prudence-how-tell-parents-atheist.html
- ↑ https://www.childline.org.uk/get-support/ask-sam/home-and-families-asksam/how-should-i-tell-my-very-religious-parents-i-am-an-atheist-/
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Reader Success Stories
- "Thank you for this video. I'm 13 and have been thinking about how to explain to my parents my opinions, and this video and guide have given me tips on how to break the news. Now this will be much easier and I can soften the fall." ..." more
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