How to Tell a Guy You Like Him Without Scaring Him Off: 9 Things to Try

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If you found a new guy that you really like, it can be tempting to blurt out your feelings and tell him how much you like him. However, for some guys, that can be a little intimidating, and it might cause them to pull away from the relationship. Fortunately, there are a few ways you can express yourself without scaring a guy off. Keep reading to learn how you can tell a guy you like him without sending him running for the hills.

1

Flirt a little.

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    You can laugh at his jokes, give him a few compliments, or even tell him you think he’s cute. If he’s paying attention, he’ll get the message that you like him. [1]
    • Other things you can do to be flirtatious include making eye contact, leaning toward him when he's talking, or playing with your hair. [2]
    • This is a super subtle approach, so he might not get the message (especially if he’s bad at picking up on hints). You can try flirting for a little while, but you may need to switch to a more direct approach eventually.
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2

Touch his shoulder or his hand.

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    An unspoken rule in dating is that if someone touches you on the arm or the hand, it means they probably like you. Lean over and pat his arm while you laugh at a joke, or gently touch his hand if he tells you something heartfelt. This is another subtle way to let him know you might be catching feelings. [3] [4]
    • Touching him on the arm or the hand isn’t a surefire way to let him know you like him, but it’s definitely a step in the right direction.
3

Give him a few compliments.

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    Over time, he may pick up on your hints and get the message that you’re into him. You could compliment his laugh, his smile, or even how he looks that day—just stick to one or two per conversation so you don’t overwhelm him. Try something like: [5]
    • “Your hair looks so good! Did you do something different today?”
    • “Wow, you smell amazing.”
    • “You have the best laugh!”
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4

Plan fun activities for the two of you.

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    Go out for a picnic, take a scenic drive, or get tickets to the new museum exhibit. The more time you spend together, the more he’ll understand that you like him. [6]
    • If he returns the favor and plans activities too, it’s a good sign that the feeling is mutual.
    • It’s fine to plan fun activities for the two of you together, but try not to ask him to hang out all the time. If you make yourself available 24/7, it could seem a little clingy. [7]
Quiz

wikiHow Quiz: Does He Like Me?

Some guys can feel like a total mystery. How can you figure out if he likes you as just a friend—or if he wants something more? Take this quiz to find out!
1 of 15

When you two are in a room filled with other people, how often do you catch him staring at you?

5

Express yourself in a private place.

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    You don’t have to take him on a romantic beach walk, but try not to approach him if you’re in a crowded area. If you want to tell him that you like him, wait until you two are alone in a private place. [8]
    • If you want to keep it casual, don’t express your feelings over a candlelit dinner. Instead, tell him as you chow down on takeout or watch a fun movie in his living room. The more casual the setting, the less intense your conversation will feel.
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6

Make it into a joke.

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    Try something like, “I wouldn’t want you to get a crush on me.” When you two are out together, try inserting this line in if he asks you to sit closer to him or give you a hug. [9]
    • If he invites you out for dinner, you could say something like, “Watch out—if we do that, people might think we’re dating!”
    • Or, if you two just hung out together alone, you could say, “If we keep seeing each other like this, I might just start to like you.”
    • If you’re trying to keep things super casual, only joke about it once or twice while you’re together. If you keep pressing it, he could get scared off.
7

Tell him how you feel when you’re together.

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    When you two hang out, let him know that you feel really good when you’re with him or that he makes you feel good about yourself. This is a subtle yet sweet way to tell him that you’re into him without saying the words exactly. Try something like: [10]
    • “You make me feel so confident.”
    • “When I’m around you, I feel like I can do anything.”
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8

Just tell him.

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    Stay cool and confident so you don’t come across as needy. Some guys get scared off when they hear you like them because it seems like you’re putting them on a pedestal. However, if you walk up to him confidently and lay your feelings out on the table, he won’t be afraid to keep a relationship going with you. [11] [12]
    • Try something like, “I think you’re pretty cool, and I’d love to keep hanging out with you.”
    • Or, “I’d like to see where this goes, if that’s okay with you.”
    • If you know he gets scared off easily, stay away from anything too intense, like “I have feelings for you” or “I think I’m falling in love with you.”
    • Reader Poll: We asked 249 wikiHow readers who've confessed feelings to their crush, and 70% of them agreed that the best way to tell them is by having a face-to-face conversation. [Take Poll]
9

Accept whatever he says.

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    If you express your feelings toward him and he doesn’t feel the same way, that’s okay! It just means you two weren’t meant to be together. If he doesn’t like you back, try to take it in stride and move onto the next guy. [13]
    • If he isn’t ready to commit yet, he might tell you that he likes you but he isn’t ready for a relationship. It’s up to you whether you want to wait for him to be ready or just move on.
    • He also might say that he likes you back, which is great! You can ask him out on a date to keep the relationship going.
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      Tips

      • The best way to tell someone you like them is to be direct. Otherwise, you might be relying on hints that he may or may not pick up on.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/relationships/a20013/tips-for-revealing-your-feelings-telling-him-you-like-him/
      2. ↑ Cher Gopman. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.
      3. ↑ Cher Gopman. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.
      4. ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/relationships/a20013/tips-for-revealing-your-feelings-telling-him-you-like-him/
      5. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201603/4-ways-tell-whether-someone-is-you
      6. ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/relationships/a20013/tips-for-revealing-your-feelings-telling-him-you-like-him/
      7. ↑ https://www.gq.com/story/how-to-avoid-coming-on-too-strong
      8. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=341&v=FqPGdDVBo3Y&feature=youtu.be
      9. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=469&v=0X6eg_TTIRI&feature=youtu.be
      1. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=267&v=FqPGdDVBo3Y&feature=youtu.be
      2. ↑ Cher Gopman. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.
      3. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=53&v=yZp2itlhmkc&feature=youtu.be
      4. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=390&v=GZrvskHq770&feature=youtu.be

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