How to Text a Girl You Barely Know

PDF download Download Article
PDF download Download Article

So you met an amazing girl and she's given you her number, but now the ball's in your court. When you don't know a lot about her, it can be a little overwhelming trying to figure out how to make a good impression over text. If you're wondering what to say to kickstart your conversation, we've got you covered. Keep reading for a ton of helpful tips and examples on how to keep her interested!

1

Introduce yourself.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/3\/3e\/Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-1.jpg\/v4-460px-Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-1.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/3\/3e\/Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-1.jpg\/aid12967663-v4-728px-Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-1.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Since you haven’t had much of a connection yet, it never hurts to let a girl know who you are in your first text. Try to send a message within the first day or two after meeting her or getting her number so you’re still fresh in her memory.
    • You might say something like, “Hey, this is Dan! We were hanging out at Jen’s party last night. How are you?”
    • You could also try, “Hi Kathy, it’s Harold. I’m so happy Frank introduced us to each other this weekend.”
    2. Advertisement
2

Text her for a reason.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/e\/e4\/Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-2.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/e\/e4\/Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-2.jpg\/aid12967663-v4-728px-Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-2.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Every message you send should be for getting to know her better or setting up a date. [1] If you’re texting without a purpose, then your conversation may feel a little dull and unexciting. Even though you might be really excited just to say hey, wait until you think of something else you can say to her to spark her interest.
3

Ask her about her day.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/a\/a9\/Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-3.jpg\/v4-460px-Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-3.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/a\/a9\/Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-3.jpg\/aid12967663-v4-728px-Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-3.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    This usually works best if the girl you’re chatting with knows who you are so it doesn’t seem like you’re randomly messaging her. Reach out in the afternoon or evening when she’s available and ask how she’s doing. Follow up with a few more questions as you learn more about her day to keep your conversation alive. [2]
    • You could say, “I’ve been crazy busy today. Anything exciting happened to you yet?”
    • You may also send, “How has your day been? It’s been sooo relaxing for me haha.”
    2. Advertisement
4

Send her open-ended questions.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/7\/77\/Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-4.jpg\/v4-460px-Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-4.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/7\/77\/Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-4.jpg\/aid12967663-v4-728px-Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-4.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Open-ended questions usually start with “why” or “how” and need an answer that’s longer than one word. Try to ask the girl some personal questions that help you get to know her better. Even though it may feel a little awkward at first, you’ll quickly start to feel comfortable having a deeper conversation. [3]
    • You might try asking things like, “What are your favorite bands?” or, “What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?”
    • You could also ask, “How would you describe your perfect day?” or, “How did you like growing up in your hometown?”
    • You could also ask some fun “would you rather” icebreaker questions. You might ask something like, “Would you rather eat the same meal every day or never eat the same meal twice?”
5

Talk about a shared interest.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/4\/40\/Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-5.jpg\/v4-460px-Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-5.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/4\/40\/Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-5.jpg\/aid12967663-v4-728px-Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-5.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    If you know how the girl you’re chatting with likes to spend her free time, bring it up when you’re texting her. Be sure to mention some of the things you enjoy too so you can find something that you have in common. She’ll love that you’re showing some interest in her hobbies, and it gives her a chance to nerd out and chat about it.
    • You could say something like, “ The Hunger Games are my favorite books too! What’s your favorite part of the trilogy?”
    • You might also say, “It’s been so long since I played soccer haha. How long have you been playing?”
    2. Advertisement
6

Give her a compliment.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/d\/d8\/Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-6.jpg\/v4-460px-Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-6.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/d\/d8\/Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-6.jpg\/aid12967663-v4-728px-Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-6.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    If you’re into the girl and want to get on her good side, say something nice that you’ve noticed about her. It could be about her looks, her personality, or whatever else you admire. [4] Just be careful not to come on too strong if you don’t know each other very well since it might make her feel a little uncomfortable. [5]
    • You could say, “I saw your latest Insta post and your hair looks amazing!” or, “Wow, your outfit is 🔥🔥🔥.”
    • You might also say, “Hahaha you’re SO funny 😊” or, “Are you a writer?? You have such a great way with words!”
7

Tease her playfully.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/f\/fe\/Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-7.jpg\/v4-460px-Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-7.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/f\/fe\/Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-7.jpg\/aid12967663-v4-728px-Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-7.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Every girl loves someone with a sense of humor, so try to show it off. Crack a joke about something she’s said or be a little sarcastic in your replies to take the edge off of the conversation. Reread your text before you send it to make sure it doesn’t sound mean or insulting.
    • You could say something like, “Oh, you think you could take me on in arm wrestling? Try me 😉” or, “LOL are you suuure that’s what you meant?”
    2. Advertisement
8

Send exciting pictures of what you’re doing.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/7\/77\/Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-8.jpg\/v4-460px-Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-8.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/7\/77\/Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-8.jpg\/aid12967663-v4-728px-Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-8.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Give the girl a peek into your life so she feels a better connection with you. Snap a quick pic of where you are, what you’re doing, or even what you’re wearing and forward it to her. Write a short and flirty caption so she has a little more to work with when she replies. [6]
    • For example, you could send a picture of the sunset and say something like, “This looks so amazing in person, I wish you could be here!”
    • You could also try sending a cute selfie and saying, “Just got this new outfit! What do you think?”
9

Stay positive in your messages.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/2\/28\/Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-9.jpg\/v4-460px-Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-9.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/2\/28\/Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-9.jpg\/aid12967663-v4-728px-Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-9.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Texting should be a place where you can have fun and get to know each other better, so stay upbeat when you message her. [7] Use some emojis, spell out when you’re laughing, and talk about positive topics so you’re both excited to keep the conversation going. If you’re not in a good mood right now, just wait a little while to cheer up before you reply. [8]
    • Reader Poll: We asked 437 wikiHow readers about the best ways to build a connection with someone they like over text, and only 7% of people recommended bringing up super deep, philosophical topics . [Take Poll] Instead, keep it light, fun, friendly, and sweet—save the serious topics for in-person conversation!
    2. Advertisement
10

Match her texting style and speed.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/e\/ef\/Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-10.jpg\/v4-460px-Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-10.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/e\/ef\/Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-10.jpg\/aid12967663-v4-728px-Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-10.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Rather than sending a girl a wall of texts, look back through your conversation to see when she replies and how long her responses are. When she eventually replies, wait about the same amount of time before sending your message so it doesn’t seem like you were waiting for her. Try to make your text about the same length as hers so you put the same amount of effort into your conversation.
    • You may have heard of waiting a few days to reply to make a girl want you more. However, this might make it look like you’re trying to play games with her head and could make her lose interest.
11

Set up a time to hang out in person.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/6e\/Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-11.jpg\/v4-460px-Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-11.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/6\/6e\/Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-11.jpg\/aid12967663-v4-728px-Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-11.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Wait until you’ve chatted for a little while so it doesn’t seem like you’re asking her out of the blue. Let her know that you’re interested and see if she wants to meet up. You could keep it as a casual hangout to test out your chemistry, or you can ask if she wants to go on a real date if you want to be more romantic.
    • You could say, “I’ve had such a fun time chatting with you. Would you wanna get together this weekend and hang out for a bit?”
    • You may also say, “I feel like there might be something between us. Do you want to go out with me and grab dinner this weekend?”
    2. Advertisement
12

End the conversation politely.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/69\/Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-12.jpg\/v4-460px-Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-12.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/6\/69\/Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-12.jpg\/aid12967663-v4-728px-Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-12.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    If you’re running out of things to talk about in your conversation, don’t be afraid to say goodbye and pick up your convo later on. Let her know that you’re not going to be available and that you’ll chat with her later. She may even start miss talking to you and send you the first message next time! [9]
    • You could say something like, “I’m going to go to bed now, but I’ll talk to you tomorrow! Good night 😊.”
    • You may text her, “I’m a little busy now, so I’m gonna head out. So nice talking to you! Let’s chat again soon!”
13

Back off if she doesn’t seem interested.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/7\/70\/Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-13.jpg\/v4-460px-Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-13.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/7\/70\/Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-13.jpg\/aid12967663-v4-728px-Text-a-Girl-You-Barely-Know-Step-13.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    She may even ask you directly to stop texting her to let you know how she feels. It can be a bummer reading that text, but be respectful of her and give her some space. There are a ton of other people you can talk to in the meantime.
    • Even though it might be tempting to reach out to her again, try finding another activity or talking to a friend to distract you. If she wants to talk again, she’ll reach out to you.
    2. Advertisement

Expert Q&A

Search
Add New Question
  • Question
    Initially, what should be the purpose of texting?
    Imad Jbara
    Dating Coach
    Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to improve their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth.
    Imad Jbara
    Dating Coach
    Expert Answer
    Initially, the purpose of texting should be to set up a date or a phone call with the other person.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
    Yes No
    Not Helpful 5 Helpful 6
  • Question
    What sort of compliments can I give a girl over text?
    Imad Jbara
    Dating Coach
    Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to improve their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth.
    Imad Jbara
    Dating Coach
    Expert Answer
    Besides complimenting her looks, you can praise her for being intelligent, exciting, spontaneous, or adventurous.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
    Yes No
    Not Helpful 10 Helpful 3
Ask a Question
200 characters left
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
Submit
      Advertisement

      Tips

      • Use good grammar and spelling. She’ll have an easier time reading and replying to your messages if you steer clear of shorthand abbreviations. For example, avoid saying something like, “heyyy, what r u up 2 2nite?” Instead, you might type out, “Hey there! What are you doing tonight?”
        Thanks
      • Just be yourself and have fun so you leave a good impression and show off your true personality.
        Thanks
      • Take the lead on most of the conversations, but don’t be afraid to wait it out and let her reach out first sometimes. If she doesn’t send you a text, you can always start a new conversation.
        Thanks
      Submit a Tip
      All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published
      Submit
      Thanks for submitting a tip for review!
      Advertisement

      You Might Also Like

      How to
      Seduce a Man
      21 Questions Game: Spicy & Freaky Questions to Get to Know Your Crush
      100+ Flirty Things to Say to a Girl & Boost Her Self-Esteem
      20+ Signs a Guy is Attracted to You
      How to
      Flirt
      How to
      Seduce a Woman
      What Are the Biggest Turn-Ons for Guys?
      How to
      Flirt with a Girl over Text
      How to Innocently Flirt with a Guy over Text (Lowkey Ways to Flirt)
      How to
      Seduce an Older Woman
      Reading Women’s Body Language: Signs & Signals That She’s Flirting
      What Is the Triangle Flirting Technique and Does It Work?
      How to
      Talk to a Girl
      70+ Sweet, Playful & Steamy Good Morning Texts To Send Your Man
      Advertisement

      References

      1. ↑ Imad Jbara. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
      2. ↑ https://www.bonobology.com/what-to-text-a-girl-to-start-a-conversation/
      3. ↑ https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2021/09/deep-conversations-strangers
      4. ↑ Imad Jbara. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
      5. ↑ https://www.sweetyhigh.com/read/cute-text-messages-for-crush-012219
      6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/flirting
      7. ↑ Imad Jbara. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
      8. ↑ https://www.regain.us/advice/how-to/how-to-get-a-girl-to-text-you-back-when-she-is-ignoring-you/
      9. ↑ https://www.gq-magazine.co.uk/lifestyle/article/how-to-end-a-conversation

      About This Article

      In other languages
      Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 62,000 times.

      Did this article help you?

      Advertisement