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Transitioning from a female to male can be a truly gratifying experience. It’s also a lengthy and potentially complicated process. As you begin to transition, come out to friends and family as transgender. You’ll likely need their support! You can then transition socially by changing your clothing and grooming habits. If you want to medically transition, find a doctor you trust and begin hormone therapy. It's important to follow your doctor's advice about any kind of medical treatment. Finally, decide if you would like gender affirming surgery.
Steps
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Think through who you will tell and what you will say. If you haven’t already, make a plan to come out as transgender . Start by telling people who you trust. They can help serve as a support system. Choose a good time and place where you will be able to have a private, uninterrupted talk. [1] X Research source
- You might tell your sister, “I have something important I’d like to talk to you about. Can you come over Friday evening?” Then you can say whatever makes you comfortable. “I’m transgender and I identify as a male,” might be a good place to start.
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Talk to people who are supportive. You don't have to tell anyone that you don't want to. If you only want to tell 1 friend or family member, that's fine. This is your news to share. If you have someone who is supportive of you, consider asking them to be with you while you come out to others. They can be a great source of moral support!
- Before you come out, make sure that doing so won’t endanger your health, safety, or living situation. If you think there might be a problem, have a safety plan in place. That means having a bag with some essentials packed and ready to go. Plan ahead to stay at a friend or family member's house, if necessary.
- Make sure that you are completely comfortable with your own identity before discussing it with others.
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Research being trans so that you are prepared to answer questions. Unfortunately, many people don’t understand what it means to be trans. It’s likely that they will have plenty of questions for you. Take some time to gather lots of facts about being trans and transitioning. You can share this information with those who have questions. [2] X Research source
- You can search online for helpful information. You could also reach out to a local LGBT center and ask them for good resources.
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Give people time to process your news. Hopefully, you are met with immediate support and love. But some people might need time to adjust to knowing that you are trans. That’s okay; it probably took you a little while to come to terms, too. [3] X Research source
- You can say something like, “Thanks for listening. I know this is a lot to process. Maybe we can get together in a couple of days after you’ve had time to think?”
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Look into laws in your area before coming out at work . There is no federal law that protects people from being fired because of their gender identity or expression. Many states and cities, however, do have protections in place. If you think your gender identity might cause problems for you at work, check the laws where you live.
- If there are not explicit protections in place, you might want to contact a lawyer for some advice.
- If you are still in school, you might want to talk to an adult before you decide to come out. A favorite teacher or the school counselor can help you decide how open you want to be at school. Hopefully, everyone will be supportive. But if you are bullied, these people will be ready to support you. [4] X Research source
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Find a support system to help you deal with your emotions. Even when it goes smoothly, deciding to transition can be a really emotional experience. In addition to trusted family and friends, reach out to others for support. It can be especially helpful to talk to others who have transitioned to get some advice. [5] X Research source
- Look for LGBT support groups in your community.
- You can also find support from national organizations like The Trevor Project and PFLAG.
"A friend of mine is considering transitioning from a female to a male and wanted to find out what transitioning would entail. I am sending a copy of this webpage address to him. Anything I can to assist is great and may bring some knowledge to him." more comments ..." more
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Ask people to use your preferred pronouns. One of the first steps of your transition can be letting people know the gender you identify with. Pronouns are important because they let people know how you like to be referred to. [6] X Research source
- When you meet a new person, you can say, “Hi! I'm Taylor, and I'd love it if you could use he/him when you're referring to me.”
- You can gently correct people who use incorrect pronouns when referring to you. Try saying, “Can you please either use he/him pronouns or just use my name? Thanks so much.”
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Change your name if you want to. Everyone chooses to transition differently. Remember that you can make whatever choices you want. If you want to change your name, you can do so legally or just socially. [7] X Research source
- You can start slowly by just asking friends and family to call you by your new name. You can say, “I know you know me as Sara, but I’m going by Sam now.”
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Alter your grooming and clothing to be more masculine if you want to. You can also further your transition by changing your appearance. You might want to try a short haircut, for instance. You can also start shopping in the men’s section for your clothing and shoes. You could try wearing something like jeans and a blazer when you go out for the evening. Remember, what's most important is that you feel comfortable. [8] X Research sourceEXPERT TIPClinical PsychologistEric A. Samuels, Psy.D. is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist in private practice in San Francisco and Oakland, California. He received a Psy.D. in Clinical Psychology from The Wright Institute in 2016 and is a member of the American Psychological Association and Gaylesta, the Psychotherapist Association for Gender and Sexual Diversity. Eric specializes in working with men, young adults, and people with diverse sexual orientations and gender identities.
Consider binding if you're self-conscious about your breasts. Many of my clients who are transitioning to male choose to bind their chest, and they may wear clothing that's more typically associated with men. You can also have top surgery to alter your appearance permanently, but research shows that the vast majority of people who identify as gender expansive, or transgender, don't actually engage in a surgical procedure.
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Find out what your insurance will cover. Transitioning medically is unfortunately often expensive. Actual costs will vary depending on where you live and who your doctor is, but it will likely cost several thousand dollars. However, there is some good news! More and more insurance plans are covering all or parts of the cost of transitioning.
- First, talk to your doctor and get an explanation of expected treatments and costs. Next, examine your insurance plan. If you can't tell from reading your policy what is covered, call and speak to a representative.
- Both employer-based plans and Medicare and state marketplace plans are starting to cover more of the costs of transitioning.
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Make an appointment with an experienced doctor. If your doctor doesn’t have experience helping people transition, seek out a doctor with expertise. They’ll be better able to guide you through the process and answer your questions. Schedule an appointment and talk to your doctor about what steps you want to take to transition medically. Hormone therapy will likely be the first step.
- Talk to your doctor about risks associated with hormone therapy. As a result of hormone therapy, your overall health profile will be that of a male. That may mean you are at greater risk for conditions like heart disease and high blood pressure. [9] X Research source
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Choose the right dosage and method for you. Testosterone can be taken in 3 ways: orally (pill), through a skin patch or gel, or with an injection. The right method for you will depend on your individual health needs. Talk through each of these options with your doctor. Don't be afraid to ask lots of questions. They're there to help you! [10] X Research source
- Oral testosterone is the least effective, so it's not as commonly used. If you use transdermal therapy, you will be using a skin patch or gel each day. If your doctor recommends injections, you'll typically get a shot either once a week or every 2 weeks.
- Doses vary greatly. It might take some time for you and your doctor to figure out what's right for you.
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Expect changes to your skin to come first. Shortly after you begin taking testosterone, your skin will start to look and feel different. Your pores will be larger and you might notice that your skin is thicker and more oily. It’s not uncommon to experience some acne flare-ups. [11] X Research source
- Your sense of touch might also change, and things might “feel” different when you touch them.
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Look for weight, hair, and voice changes to follow. You might notice that you begin to carry weight differently. For example, you might see less weight in your hips and thighs, and more in your abdomen. Overall, your muscle mass will probably increase. [12] X Research source
- Listen for changes in your voice after a few weeks. The testosterone will cause your vocal cords to thicken, which will result in a more traditionally male-sounding voice. [13] X Research source
- Expect your hair to change slowly over time, and get thicker and darker. The hair on your body will start to become darker and thicker. It will also grow at a faster rate. [14] X Research source
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Ask your doctor about changes to your reproductive system. You may notice that your periods become lighter, less frequent, or stop altogether. However, you might also experience longer, heavier periods for a while. Each person reacts differently to testosterone therapy. [15] X Research source
- If you have any concerns, talk to your doctor. They can help you figure out what’s normal for you.
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Go to therapy if you find your emotional changes challenging. Make an appointment with a therapist if you are having trouble dealing with emotions. Hormone therapy is a lot like going through puberty again. That means that not only will you experience physical changes, but you might also find yourself on an emotional roller coaster. Transitioning is an emotional process, even without hormones surging through your body! [16] X Research source
- In therapy, you can learn various coping mechanisms that may be useful.
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See a therapist to get a diagnosis, if necessary. Gender dysphoria is a recognized health condition where a person’s gender identity does not match the sex they were born with. It is not a mental illness, so no need to have concerns that doctors look at it that way. Some doctors might require this diagnosis before they will perform surgery. Therapy is not only important to get a diagnosis, but it’s a good way to find tools to help you cope with the stress of surgery. [17] X Research source
- Depending on your insurance coverage, you might also need a diagnosis in order for any of your procedures to be covered.
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Figure out how much your insurance will cover if you have a policy. More and more plans are starting to cover gender reassignment surgery. If you have insurance, examine your policy to see what procedures are covered. Don't worry if you get confused! You can simply call and have a representative explain your coverage to you. Don't forget to make sure your doctor accepts insurance.
- If you don't have insurance, you still have options. You can ask if your doctor or hospital does payment plans. You can also consider taking out a personal loan to help you afford surgery.
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Undergo male chest surgery to remove breasts. It’s up to you which, if any, surgical procedures you wish to undergo. Take some time to think about what would make you happy. There's no right or wrong way to transition. Talk to your doctor and decide if you wish to undergo a male chest reconstruction surgery, which involves removing your breasts and breast tissue. [18] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health Go to source
- You’ll need to rest for the first few days after surgery. Follow your doctor’s guidelines about lifting and movement. Most people can return to work within 7-9 days after surgery.
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Schedule a hysterectomy to remove female reproductive organs. You might also choose to surgically remove your female reproductive organs, like your uterus. Talk to your doctor about whether a full hysterectomy is right for you. This is a big decision, so it's okay to have lots of questions. There are several different methods, including abdominal and vaginal surgeries. Ask your doctor to walk you through each option so you can know what to expect. [19] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health Go to source
- Many have experienced positive results from a hysterectomy. Just remember that this is a very personal choice, so just do what feels right for you.
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Talk to your doctor about a phalloplasty. This surgery involves the construction of a penis. Having a phalloplasty will allow you to urinate and have sex like a male. Talk to your doctor about the risks and benefits associated with this surgery. [20] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health Go to source
- Phalloplasty comes with traditional risks associated with any surgery, such as wound infection. Make sure to see your surgeon as instructed for follow-up care.
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Comments
- "This helped me really think if I should turn transgender, and I think I am going to. I have already cut my hair and started dressing like the person I want to be. I have already come out with my family, and they say that they will be there for me and after that I had a lot of confidence in myself. Now I think that I will take it step by step and see how it goes. Thank you so much, you just have given me a bit more guidance on how to turn transgender." ..." more
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"I'm twelve, and I wasn't really sure I was trans or not. I had kind of been leaning towards it the past few days, but I wasn't sure. My female name is Tailor, but I'm thinking about going with Tyler. It's close to my name already, and my idol, Tyler Joseph, has the name. I had been thinking about what it would be like to be an emo male, I'm an emo female currently, and I liked the idea. So, I think that I'm going to be transgender now. " ..." more
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"Ever since reading this I've gotten way over the top excited to switch. I was wondering if it was possible to still have facial hair and a lower voice even if you were born female. Thanks for answering that question. So I consulted my therapist, then my parents and siblings, and they were cool with it (I would have still even if they weren't). So I dont know when but I'm looking forward to making the switch." ..." more
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"I've been questioning my gender since I was 13 (I'm 15 now). I've come out to my mother and she's supportive but not yet my father, because I know he won't support it. I've realized that not everybody is gonna support me, but I''m still happy and gonna transition next year. This article really helped me understand a little better and in greater depth." ..." more
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"This article helped me a lot. All I want now is to become a real man physically. When I was 19, I decided to become a man, but the problem is that I don't have enough money to pursue what I want to be, inside and out. I am now 27 years old and still dreaming that someday I will become a real man. Thank you very much. God bless." ..." more
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"I think this article really helped me with my transition as an FTM. I had no idea where to begin. To my surprise , I had already begun my transition! Realizing this was an enormous weight off my shoulders, I felt so much better. I have a much better idea of what issues to tackle first than I previously had. " ..." more
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"I am 13 and transgender (girl to boy). Since I didn't even know about LGBT until I was 9, I crushed myself into a tight box I didn't belong in. It was an antagonizing hell. This article helped me understand what I can do, and I am very glad I saw this!" ..." more
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"As a 17-year-old female who identifies as a male now, I have always been ignorant of what this transitioning business is like. Now that I have read this article, it helped me establish a plan of my own for transitioning." ..." more
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"It helps me to know a little more about me. I started reminiscing about my childhood days, as I wished to become a boy magically. This also gives me ideas on how to open up with my family and friends. Thanks a lot!" ..." more
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"This article really helped me support my decision, and I'm sure it will help me tell my family. I was unsure about becoming a male, but now I feel more comfortable with the decision I'm willing to make." ..." more
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"My son is dating a transgender FTM who has been taking testosterone but is not planning on having surgery. This article has answered a lot of questions that I have but don't want to ask him directly." ..." more
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"This article was very helpful in its simple, but detailed explanation about the stages of transition so I am better informed to support my transitioning 29-year-old grandchild." ..." more
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"The most helpful was coming out to parents if the situation can become dangerous. I was most scared about them telling everybody, but hopefully when I tell, they won't be angry." ..." more
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"I already felt kind of dense for having just started my transition at 27. However, this helped me realize that I do need friends. I try not to let friends into my personal life." ..." more
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"I have a transgender grandchild and I am trying to understand this topic. I want my grandchild to feel they can discuss this subject with me. Very good information. Thank you." ..." more
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"I have been looking into this for a while, and this has all the info I need! This page sure helped me on choosing which way I want to go when being trans. Thank you! ( ^^ )" ..." more
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"I believe I am trans, but I wasn't sure what to do. Now I have time to think about it, and I am more comfortable now that I know some tips on what to do!" ..." more
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"This helped me a lot considering when I said something about my little brother having me as a big one, my mom told me I was a girl and I always will." ..." more
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"Very informal and very straightforward. I learned a lot of technical and correct terms for a lot of things, which I was not expecting. Thanks." ..." more
Break Out of Gender Norms with this Expert Series
You have the right to dress however you like, and, if you're looking to dress as a man or just look more masculine, we have an expert series just for you. These articles will help you crossdress, present as male, and generally look more masculine.
Expert Q&A
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QuestionDo you need to change your name when you're transgender?Eric A. Samuels, Psy.D. is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist in private practice in San Francisco and Oakland, California. He received a Psy.D. in Clinical Psychology from The Wright Institute in 2016 and is a member of the American Psychological Association and Gaylesta, the Psychotherapist Association for Gender and Sexual Diversity. Eric specializes in working with men, young adults, and people with diverse sexual orientations and gender identities.You can change your if you want to do so. People who desire to transition to a male identity, or even just to identify as agender or gender expansive, often choose to go by a name that is more gender neutral. In other words, they'll choose a name that could be associated with both a man or a women. You can even legally change your name, if you like.
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QuestionHow long does it take to recover from top surgery FTM?Shahpar Mirza is a Community Transgender Expert who began his transition from female-to-male (FTM) starting in 2016. He has had hormone replacement therapy since 2017 and underwent a double mastectomy (top surgery) in April 2018. Through experiences such as working for the Queer Student Resources Center at Stanford University, he is passionate about spreading more awareness about the transgender community and clarifying common misconceptions people may have. He received his BS in Product Design from Stanford University in 2019.While your recovery time will depend on the type of procedure you're going to have, in general, you'll be on limited activity for the first 6 months after your top surgery. For instance, you might be told not to lift your arms above your shoulders for the first 6 months so the scars don't stretch. However, you should start to feel better in as little as 2-3 weeks.
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QuestionWhat would I be categorized as if I want to become a man, but still want to do girly things like wear makeup?Community AnswerTechnically, if you were to transition to a man, you would still be a transgender man; you would just be a transgender man who enjoys girly things and crossdressing/makeup. That being said, I wouldn't worry about trying to classifying yourself as anything -- just be who you want to be.
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Tips
- Don’t feel pressure to have a “typical” transition. Each individual’s journey is unique.Thanks
- It might take years to completely transition. That’s okay!Thanks
- Medical treatments and surgery can be very expensive. Make a budget to help you deal with these costs.Thanks
Tips from our Readers
The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
- "All FTM guys are different. Some guys get some surgery, and others don't. Some choose to be masculine-presenting, and others don't. Being a man is all about living the way you want."
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Warnings
- Only work with an experienced doctor you trust.Thanks
- Follow your doctor’s guidelines for hormone therapy and for recovery from any surgical procedures.Thanks
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References
- ↑ https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/sexual-orientation-gender/trans-and-gender-nonconforming-identities/coming-out-trans
- ↑ https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/sexual-orientation-gender/trans-and-gender-nonconforming-identities/coming-out-trans
- ↑ https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/sexual-orientation-gender/trans-and-gender-nonconforming-identities/coming-out-trans
- ↑ https://respectyourself.info/about-you/coming-out/coming-out-at-school/
- ↑ https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/sexual-orientation-gender/trans-and-gender-nonconforming-identities/coming-out-trans
- ↑ https://www.colorado.edu/gsc/resources/pronouns-101
- ↑ https://www.ditchthelabel.org/8-tips-for-coming-out-as-trans
- ↑ https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/sexual-orientation-gender/trans-and-gender-nonconforming-identities/what-do-i-need-know-about-transitioning
- ↑ https://transcare.ucsf.edu/article/information-testosterone-hormone-therapy
- ↑ https://apps.carleton.edu/campus/gsc/assets/hormones_FTM.pdf
- ↑ https://transcare.ucsf.edu/article/information-testosterone-hormone-therapy
- ↑ https://transcare.ucsf.edu/article/information-testosterone-hormone-therapy
- ↑ https://transcare.ucsf.edu/article/information-testosterone-hormone-therapy
- ↑ https://transcare.ucsf.edu/article/information-testosterone-hormone-therapy
- ↑ https://transcare.ucsf.edu/article/information-testosterone-hormone-therapy
- ↑ https://transcare.ucsf.edu/article/information-testosterone-hormone-therapy
- ↑ http://transhealth.ucsf.edu/trans?page=guidelines-mental-health
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3312187/
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3312187/
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3312187/
About This Article
Article Summary
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To transition from a female to a male, ask people to use your preferred pronouns, since this makes clear the gender you identify with. For example, try saying something like, “Hello, my name’s Taylor, and I’d love it if you could use he/him when you’re referring to me.” If you want to transition to a more male appearance, consider getting a short haircut or shopping in the men’s section for clothing, like jeans and a blazer for a night out. You should also tell the people you trust about your transition, since they’ll be able to support you through the process. After you’ve done this, consider asking someone who supports you to be present when you tell others. When you feel like you need more support, look for LGBT groups in your local area, where you can meet others who are going through the same process. For tips on how to use hormone therapy to transition, keep reading!
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