What's the Best Relationship Advice You Can Give Someone? Essential Tips from Relationship Experts

Have a friend or loved one in a new or changing relationship? Looking for ideas on how to work on your own relationship? Either way, relationship advice that’s both optimistic and insightful can be tough to find. To help you out, we’ve compiled a list of solid tips that are useful to just about any serious couple. Read on for some of the best relationship advice you can give someone.

1

Communicate your needs.

  1. As scary as it can be, being vulnerable with the person you want to share your life with is crucial. Start conversations about your hopes, fears, and expectations as often as you can. [1] Just make sure you’re being respectful of their feelings and bringing things up at an appropriate time. [2] For some ideas on how to start these conversations:
    • “Hey, can we talk about…”
    • “So I’ve been thinking, and…”
    • “Is now a good time to talk?”
    • “Can I get your opinion on something?”
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2

Be an active listener.

  1. In addition to just talking about needs, it’s important for both people to really understand each other’s needs. Furthermore, each person should feel supported when they voice these needs. [3] Give your friend these tips so they can be the best listener they can be:
3

Echo your partner’s thoughts and feelings.

  1. Another practice that can accompany active listening is saying what your partner says back to them during serious conversations. [5] Try rephrasing what they say or asking questions to prove that you’re invested and paying close attention. [6] For example:
    • “I think we’re spending too much money on going out.”
    • “What I’m hearing is we should save money by staying in more often, right?”
    • “I feel like I do everything around the house.”
    • “You feel like you do all the chores and we should split them more evenly?”
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4

Try new things together.

  1. Couples who regularly try doing new activities together tend to have more fun together than those who stick to what they know. This is a great way for people in love to constantly keep things new and exciting, and create memories together to strengthen their bond. [7] [8]
5

Keep the romance alive.

  1. Over time, couples settle into routine and the initial excitement of a relationship might begin to fade. Don’t let this stop you from doing something unexpected every once in a while! Every month or so, surprise your partner with something heartfelt and personal. [10] [11] For example:
    • Buy a small gift that’s specific to your partner’s hobbies or interests.
    • Secretly plan an out-of-the-box date, like a concert or weekend trip.
    • Reader Poll: We asked 1966 wikiHow readers who are in a long-term relationship with their partner, and 56% said that over time, the feelings of love and affection do change—but at the end of the day, both partners still care deeply for each other. So if you’re worried about maintaining romance in the long term, take comfort in the fact that if you work at it, you can keep the romance alive.
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6

Be generous.

  1. Going out of your way to support and care for your partner is a choice that can make or break a successful relationship. Be prepared for these acts of kindness to be inconvenient to you sometimes, too. [12] Some of these selfless gestures include:
    • Cooking meals.
    • Washing dishes.
    • Doing laundry.
    • Giving rides.
    • Bringing food or coffee.
7

Make time for intimacy.

  1. Frequent, small forms of touch, like kissing, hugging, and holding hands, are definitely important to keeping a couple strong. But so is sex! Keep physical intimacy consistent and alive, in whatever capacity you can. [13] For some tips on how to go about doing that:
    • Talk to each other about what you like and don’t like doing.
    • Try scheduling time for sex or cuddling if you’re busy.
    • Commit to it, even when you’re tired or not in the mood.
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8

Argue constructively.

  1. Conflict is an inevitable part of any long-term relationship. It’s perfectly normal and healthy to disagree with each other on things. However, when these issues arise, it’s important that a couple stays respectful of each other. [14] Here’s some food for thought when it comes to having arguments:
    • Give yourself time to cool off before talking, if you can.
    • Talk about the current issue, and don’t bring up past incidents.
    • Avoid criticism or judgment of your partner’s character.
    • Use “I” statements, like “I feel,” to avoid projecting motives.
    • Take responsibility for your own mistakes.
    • Acknowledge that not every issue can be fixed.
9

Give and take.

  1. There will be times in a relationship when a choice needs to be made, but both parties are split on what to do. In order to keep both sides happy, you might need to make a new decision that appeases everyone. Making small sacrifices once in a while is part of the game! [15] For example:
    • If you want to eat out but your partner wants to eat at home, get takeout.
    • Or, decide to make food at home for this meal, and eat out tomorrow.
    • If you want a dog but your partner is allergic, get a cat.
    • Or, hold off on getting a pet for now.
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10

Maintain your other relationships.

  1. Even though your partner might seem like the only person in your life at times, it’s crucial to interact with other people, too. Developing relationships of different kinds fulfills needs that a single person might not be able to give you. Don’t forget to devote time and energy to your friends and family. [16]
    • This will also put less pressure on your partner to be your “everything.”
    • In turn, this will make the time you do spend together more special.
11

Prepare for ups and downs together.

  1. Throughout the life of this relationship, a lot of circumstances will change. Health complications, job losses, or deaths of loved ones might cause a huge stress on the relationship. It’s crucial that you support yourself and your partner through these major life changes. [17] To deal with these issues sensitively:
    • Take frustration out on something other than each other.
    • Work as a team to find a solution. There might not always be one.
    • Communicate and adapt to new circumstances together.
    • Remember high points in the relationship. This isn’t forever.
    • Seek outside help from a friend or professional if you need it.
    EXPERT TIP

    John Keegan

    Dating Coach
    John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
    John Keegan
    Dating Coach

    Expecting a relationship to be perfect is unrealistic. Plus, it can lead to frustration when reality doesn't match your expectations. Every relationship has challenges and imperfections, but learning to navigate them can actually strengthen the bond between you and your partner.

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Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    How do you keep romance alive in a relationship?
    Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
    Marriage & Family Therapist
    Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).
    Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
    Marriage & Family Therapist
    Expert Answer
    Party with your friends who are married or in committed relationships! Laughing and hanging out with other happy, like-minded couples is always fun.
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  • Question
    How can I make my relationship sexy?
    Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
    Marriage & Family Therapist
    Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).
    Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
    Marriage & Family Therapist
    Expert Answer
    Surprise your partner with a sexy or steamy photo! If you're in a really spicy mood, greet your partner at the door naked or cook your partner their favorite meal wearing nothing but an apron and sexy clothes.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
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      References

      1. ↑ Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC. Marriage & Family Therapist. Expert Interview
      2. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/relationship-help.htm
      3. ↑ https://www.amherst.edu/campuslife/health-safety-wellness/counseling/self_care/healthy_relationships/10_tips_for_health_realtionships
      4. ↑ Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC. Marriage & Family Therapist. Expert Interview
      5. ↑ Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC. Marriage & Family Therapist. Expert Interview
      6. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/lib/become-a-better-listener-active-listening
      7. ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/guides/well/how-to-have-a-better-relationship
      8. ↑ Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC. Marriage & Family Therapist. Expert Interview
      9. ↑ Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC. Marriage & Family Therapist. Expert Interview
      1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201411/what-message-do-your-gifts-send
      2. ↑ Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC. Marriage & Family Therapist. Expert Interview
      3. ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/guides/well/how-to-have-a-better-relationship
      4. ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/guides/well/how-to-have-a-better-relationship
      5. ↑ https://www.amherst.edu/campuslife/health-safety-wellness/counseling/self_care/healthy_relationships/10_tips_for_health_realtionships
      6. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/relationship-help.htm
      7. ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/guides/well/how-to-have-a-better-relationship
      8. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/relationship-help.htm

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