10 Things Guys Secretly Find Attractive

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What does the other gender really want? To answer this great mystery of the heteroromantic dating world, you'll first need to infiltrate Facebook's server HQ. Once you've accessed the top secret database of men's thoughts, just... sorry, is this too much effort? All right, there are a handful of simpler tricks and ideas that have a good shot at turning men's heads or pushing a budding relationship in a more intimate direction. Good luck out there!

1

Making the first move

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    Buy him a drink or ask for his phone number . A whopping 95% of single men in the US like the idea of a woman making the first move . Keep up that daring, assertive style by being the first to lean in for a kiss . [1]
2

Tilting your head

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    Who knew looking sexy was so easy? Men find women hotter when they strike this pose. [2]
3

Carrying a book

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    You'd be surprised how many guys get scared away because they couldn't think of what to say. Put your book on the bar to give them a topic to start with. [3]
4

Showing off your silly side

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    Share your secret ridiculous interests or weird hobbies. It's not just passionate nights and sexy outfits that stick in a man's head—the goofy, quirky, incredibly you moments can be the most endearing of all. [4] Don't be afraid to share the deep secrets of your Netflix history or the walrus tooth collection hiding in your closet. [5]
5

Laughing at his jokes

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    A lot of men crack jokes to impress women, whether or not they're any good at it! Give them a chuckle if you want to signal you're a willing target. [6] You can even have it both ways and still mock-complain about how awful his puns are afterward—a little teasing is a great part of flirting too! [7]
    Helen Fisher, Biological Anthropologist and Human Behavior Researcher

    Attraction isn't just about the physical stuff. It's all the little details of someone's personality, their excitement, their sense of humor, the way they see the world — those are the things that really draw us in. A lot of times, it's the odd traits, the flaws, the quirks that we find most charming. Those unique manners and behaviors show a deeper compatibility, one that goes way beyond initial physical appeal.

6

Asking for help

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    It's a little "damsel in distress", but it's effective. If you don't feel like play-acting, wait until you have an actual question or problem, but save it for the guy you're interested in. [8]
7

Giving playful touches

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    Flirtatious touches are a great way to turn a guy on. Men in many cultures aren't used to physical intimacy, so even a little contact can give him shivers. Turn and grab his arm when you want to ask him a question, playfully kick him under the table if he teases you, or, for a big move, touch your hand to his cheek or chin. [9]
    • Reader Poll: We asked 1635 wikiHow readers how they like their partner to show affection, and 52% said they enjoy cuddling, hugging, kissing, or other forms of touch. [Take Poll]
8

Enjoying your food

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    At the restaurant, that is. Good food and romance are both about enjoying life, not restraining ourselves and worrying about sauce on our hands. Order something delightful and indulgent. [10]
9

Wearing his clothes

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    It says something both sexy and intimate: you slept over, and now you're claiming his clothes. [11]
10

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    [12] Think outside the box and plan a date that will get his blood pumping: rock climbing , a haunted house, live music , or something as simple as surprising him with a unannounced drive to a place he's never seen before. [13]

Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    How does attraction develop?
    Imad Jbara
    Dating Coach
    Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to improve their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth.
    Imad Jbara
    Dating Coach
    Expert Answer
    A guy will be attracted to a girl if he admires her. This attraction isn't just physical—it's also emotional, spiritual, and intellectual.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
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  • Question
    What are the 2 factors of attraction?
    Imad Jbara
    Dating Coach
    Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to improve their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth.
    Imad Jbara
    Dating Coach
    Expert Answer
    Excitement and tension are the 2 factors that equal attraction. Excitement provides connection, while tension provides a challenge; having both is what truly makes some attractive.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.cbsnews.com/news/survey-of-singles-in-america-match-com-helen-fisher/
      2. ↑ https://www.australiangeographic.com.au/news/2010/11/sex-appeal-is-all-in-a-tilt-of-the-head/
      3. ↑ https://www.today.com/health/what-men-find-sexy-simple-ways-get-him-notice-you-t100399
      4. ↑ Imad Jbara. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
      5. ↑ https://www.today.com/health/what-men-find-sexy-20-simple-surprising-ways-turn-him-I283552
      6. ↑ https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-humor-gap-2012-10-23/
      7. ↑ https://www.forgettingfairytales.com/flirting-by-teasing/
      8. ↑ https://www.bolde.com/how-to-get-his-attention-without-actually-asking-for-it/
      9. ↑ https://theweek.com/articles/448643/how-flirt-according-science
      1. ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/a4249/the-sexiest-thing-you-can-do-on-a-date/
      2. ↑ https://www.racked.com/2017/4/17/15113942/woman-wearing-a-mans-shirt-after-sex-nope
      3. ↑ Imad Jbara. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
      4. ↑ https://time.com/2859728/science-of-sexy-5-things-that-can-make-you-irresistible/

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