27 Things to Say to Someone Who Feels Overwhelmed

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Plus, what not to say and how to support them
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When someone you know is overwhelmed and stressed, you might feel helpless and unsure of what to say to comfort them. We're here to help with 27 phrases you can say whenever you want to make someone who is overwhelmed feel better. We'll also guide you on what not to say, so you don't accidentally push them away. We’ll even cover other ways to support someone who’s feeling overwhelmed and share advice from mental health experts.

What to Say to an Overwhelmed Person

  • "How can I help?"
  • "Can you tell me what's going on?"
  • "I'm here to listen."
  • "It's okay to feel what you're feeling."
  • "Would you like advice?"
  • "You're not alone."
  • "You can take a break if you need to."
Section 1 of 4:

What to Say When Someone Is Overwhelmed

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  1. Offering your help is the quickest way to support someone who feels overwhelmed. This question also takes the guesswork out of finding out what they need. By simply saying, "How can I help?" you'll find out if they need you to run an errand for them, take over a project, reach out to someone on their behalf, or simply be present. [1] Other things you can say include:
    • "I want to help you. Please tell me what you need me to do."
    • "Can I help you with [a specific task]?"
  2. 2
    "Can you tell me what's going on?" When a person is overwhelmed, they may gain perspective about their problems and feel better by venting about them. But they may not know how to begin or how to organize their thoughts. By asking them what's going on, you give them permission to get their emotions out in the open. [2] Or, try saying:
    • "What's happening?"
    • "Tell me about what you're going through."
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  3. 3
    "I'm here to listen." Listening to an overwhelmed person can make them feel heard and understood. When you offer to just sit and be their ear, licensed master social worker Sabrina Grover, LMSW says to "bring a non-judgmental feeling to that conversation," and "make sure they know… you're there to be supportive." Use active listening techniques like reflecting back what they say, making eye contact, and not trying to think about how you'll respond. You could also say:
    • "Do you want to talk about it?"
    • "I'm available if you ever want to vent."
  4. 4
    "It's okay to feel what you're feeling." This lets the person know that their emotions are valid. This is important, says licensed mental health counselor Laura Richer, because it helps you avoid "diminishing their feelings." Validating their feelings can make them feel better and reduce their stress levels. Other things you can say include:
    • "Your feelings are valid."
    • "The way you feel is completely understandable."
  5. 5
    "Would you like advice?" In most cases, it's not a good idea to offer advice to someone who's overwhelmed unless they ask for it. On the other hand, they may want help, but don't know how to ask for it or what kind of advice they're looking for. Certified professional master life coach Jessica George, MA, CHt suggests asking them if they want it ahead of time. You can also ask if they want to make things better. If they don't, continue being a supportive friend, but just listen instead of speaking your mind. Alternatively, ask:
    • "Do you mind if I share some of my experience with you?"
    • "Is it okay if I give you some advice?"
  6. 6
    "You're not alone." Remind them they're not in this fight by themselves. They have you, and probably other friends and family, as well. You can also use this phrase to talk about ways that you've felt overwhelmed or stressed in the past, and how you dealt with those feelings. Showing your vulnerabilities might make the other person feel better about their situation and more willing to open up. [3] You could also say:
    • "I'm here for you."
    • "You're surrounded by people who love and support you."
  7. 7
    "You can take a break if you need to." An overwhelmed person often forgets that taking a break is even an option. Say this phrase to remind them to pause the chaos, even if it's only for 5 minutes. Encourage them to breathe, exercise, or meditate to reduce stress and promote their overall well-being. [4] Other ways to say this phrase include:
    • "It's okay to stop and rest for a while."
    • "Why don't you take a break and breathe with me?"
  8. 8
    "I believe in you!" Depending on what the other person is overwhelmed with, they may not be able to take anything off their plate. In that case, encourage them to keep at it. Saying, "I believe in you!" is a declaration of your faith in their strength and willpower. You'll be surprised at how much your belief will strengthen their belief in themselves and their resolve to never give up. [5] Or, try something like:
    • "I know you can do this."
    • "I am your #1 fan!"
  9. 9
    "Focus on one problem at a time." An overwhelmed person may feel anxious because they're trying to solve too many problems at once. The human brain isn't designed for multitasking. It performs much better when it only has one thing to worry about in a single moment. Remind them to "Focus on one problem at a time," so they can tackle all the things that are bothering them faster and more efficiently. [6] Or, try saying:
    • "Let's just take this one step at a time."
    • "Little by little, you'll get there."
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Section 2 of 4:

What Not to Say When Someone Is Overwhelmed

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  1. 1
    Avoid pressuring them to open up to you. Even if you're worried about how overwhelmed they are, don't try to make them talk to you when they're not ready. You could end up driving them further away. Just make sure they know you're just a phone call or text away if they ever decide to open up. [7]
    • Don't say, "I need you to tell me what's going on right now!" or "I don't know why you won't open up to me."
  2. 2
    Avoid giving them advice unless they ask for it. It's important not to advise someone who's overwhelmed unless they make it clear that they want it. Instead, wait for them to ask for your input or offer it ahead of time. If you offer and they say no, take a step back. [8]
    • Don't say, "Here's what I would do if I were you," "Everybody has bad days. Let me tell you what I think you should do," or "Just follow my advice and everything will work out."
  3. 3
    Avoid telling them their feelings are wrong. Don't try to tell them that their problem isn't that bad or that they're overreacting. They may feel like you're not taking them seriously. [9] Whether you agree with what they're feeling or not, opt for a non-judgmental attitude as you listen to them. This will help them feel supported instead of attacked.
    • Don't say, "Calm down," "Everything will be okay," or "Just get over it."
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Section 3 of 4:

How to Support Someone Who Feels Overwhelmed

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  1. Let them know you're there for them and offer tangible support. Overwhelmed people need friends and family who are available to listen and help them when they need it most. Sometimes just checking in on them once in a while is helpful enough, whereas other people might need more professional support, such as therapy (or, in extreme cases, a suicide hotline). Here are other ways to show your support:
    • Reach out to them and let them know you're concerned. ("I've noticed you seem really overwhelmed lately. Do you want to talk about it?")
    • Listen to their problems without judging or trying to offer solutions.
    • Reassure them that their feelings are valid while also encouraging them. ("I'm so sorry you're going through this. But I believe you're strong enough to find a way through this.")
    • Offer advice or action. ("I want to help. Can I offer you some advice?" or "Is there an errand I can run for you to make your burden lighter?")
    • Encourage them to get help from a professional, such as a therapist, a financial advisor, or a lawyer—whichever would help them the most. ("I really think you should see a professional about this. I think it would make you feel better.")
Section 4 of 4:

Final Thoughts

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  1. An overwhelmed person can feel better and calmer simply by talking to someone who wants to listen. You can be that person for them by saying phrases like, "Can you tell me what's going on?" and "I'm here to listen." You can also offer help by saying, "How can I help?" and let them know their feelings are valid. Remember not to pressure them to open up or give them advice when they didn't ask for it. The best thing you can do for them is be the shoulder they can lean on.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/seeking-help-for-a-mental-health-problem/helping-someone-else-seek-help/
      2. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/does_venting_your_feelings_actually_help
      3. ↑ https://jedfoundation.org/resource/how-to-help-a-friend-or-loved-one-with-anxiety/
      4. ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/meditation/in-depth/meditation/art-20045858
      5. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/alone-together/202406/rise-the-value-of-believing-in-someone
      6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/zero-generation-students/202303/trying-to-multitask-well-just-focus-on-one-thing
      7. ↑ https://jedfoundation.org/resource/how-to-help-a-friend-or-loved-one-with-anxiety/
      8. ↑ https://jedfoundation.org/resource/how-to-help-a-friend-or-loved-one-with-anxiety/
      9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-introverts-corner/201605/what-it-means-when-someone-tells-you-youre-too-sensitive

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