Are Men or Women More Likely to Be Unfaithful?

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The statistics may point to guys—but is it really that black-and-white?

Written by Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC | Edited by Dev Murphy, MA

Last Updated: November 23, 2023 Fact Checked

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Who cheats more?

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What is infidelity?

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Why do people cheat?

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Can a relationship survive infidelity?

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How to Heal After Being Cheated on

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Final Thoughts

Men have the reputation of being more sex-driven than women, which often leads to the assumption that they’re more likely to cheat in a committed relationship. But is this just a myth, or is it actually true? What even constitutes “cheating”? How reliable are all these infidelity studies, anyway? In case you haven’t already figured it out, “Who cheats more often?” is a more complicated question than you might have thought! But we dove right in, and we’re here to share our expert findings with you. Keep reading to learn more about the role of gender in infidelity.

This article is based on an interview with our marriage and family therapist, Moshe Ratson. Check out the full interview here.

Things You Should Know

Heterosexual men report cheating more than heterosexual women, but because these numbers are self-reported, they may not be entirely accurate.
Moreover, not everyone defines “cheating” in the same way. Additionally, most studies fail to represent LGBTQ+ people or unmarried monogamous couples.
People may cheat if they're unhappy in their relationship, have low self-esteem, want more variety in terms of partners or experiences, or if they're using drugs or alcohol.

Section 1 of 6:

Do men or women cheat more?

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Men report cheating more—but the data isn’t clear-cut. In married heterosexual couples, 20% of men report cheating on their spouse, compared to 13% of women. ^{[1]
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Research source} However, the data isn’t black-and-white: it only considers married couples, not unmarried monogamous couples; it doesn’t represent LGBTQ+ couples; and which gender is more likely to cheat varies by age and definitions of cheating. In addition to all of that, it’s hard to get an accurate picture when the data’s all self-reported. In brief, men report cheating more, but this doesn’t mean they do, nor does it mean every man will cheat.
- Women actually report cheating more often than men between the ages of 18 and 29, but in every age group beyond this one, men report greater levels of infidelity.
- Men and women report cheating more often as they get older. Women’s infidelity peaks in their 60s, after which age the numbers drop, but men report cheating most in their 70s; the numbers drop as they age into their 80s, but not by much.
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Women may cheat as often or more and just be better at hiding it. While data generally indicates that women are less likely to cheat than men, some researchers suspect the data could be skewed by the possibility that women are just more careful about covering their tracks . In most heterosexual relationships, women have more to lose if their partners find out they're cheating than their male partners do: in the event the affair precipitates a divorce, the financial strain and the pressures of single parenting would statistically be much greater for the woman than for her husband. ^{[2]
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Trustworthy Source
PubMed Central
Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health
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- Women are also more likely to experience domestic violence from male partners than men are from female partners, giving them less incentive to confess their affairs. ^{[3]
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 Research source}

Section 2 of 6:

What counts as infidelity?

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The definition of cheating varies, and can be emotional or physical. Infidelity refers to any act that violates the boundaries established between romantic partners, but those boundaries differ from couple to couple. Cheating could mean sexual intercourse, or it might mean hugging someone other than your partner; it might include emotional affairs or just physical ones, virtual infidelity, or only face-to-face affairs. ^{[4]
X
Trustworthy Source
PubMed Central
Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health
Go to source}
- Because people may come into a relationship with different views on infidelity, it's important to discuss expectations early on: what seems like no big deal to one person may be a huge deal to their partner.
- Some evolutionary psychologists posit that women tend to consider emotional affairs more serious than sexual ones, while for men, the opposite is true. ^{[5]
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- The digital revolution of the past 25 years has made cheating way easier to do—as well as harder to define: is sexting infidelity? What about sliding into someone's DMs on Instagram? ^{[6]
 X
 Research source} People have varying opinions.
 - Thanks to dating apps, meeting (or even just chatting with) other people is easier and more convenient than it used to be: between 18-25% of Tinder users report being in a monogamous relationship while using the app. ^{[7]
 X
 Trustworthy Source
 Science Direct
 Online archive of peer-reviewed research on scientific, technical and medical topics
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