Good evening, everybody. I hope you’re having a great time tonight. I wanted to start off, first of all, by saying thanks to everyone for making it all the way out here to celebrate Josh and Meg’s amazing wedding, and a huge thanks to the parents of the bride and groom, who dug deep into their wellsprings of patience—and also, I believe, their wallets—to make this night possible… oh, and for raising the two people in front of me, who are OK. Speaking of the happy couple…. I wanted to take this opportunity to follow the tradition of every great Best Man Speech, dating back to ancient times, and share a story to make you all laugh, my best friend Josh here cringe, and his new wife realize what she’s gotten herself into. (Don’t worry, Josh, it’s not that bad.) As some of you know, my name is David, and I’ve known Josh since we were both tricycling up a storm down on Landry Street, slurping down juice boxes and taking names. I believe you’ll be seeing some adorable pictures of Josh from that time in his life a little later on tonight. When I first met him, Josh was about a quarter of his current size but, in my opinion, twice as smart and four times as observant. Let me set the scene for you here: Josh is about 4 or 5 years old, we’re sitting in our preschool class, and somehow we start talking about girls. Josh, who was the most energetic, positive, upbeat, happy, smiley kid you’d ever met, suddenly gets the most somber look on his face and goes: “My sister says the only way a girl would get married to me is if they told her I was super rich, blindfolded her and glued the ring on her finger.” And then he sits there thinking for a minute and goes, “but I think just the blindfold would be enough, right?” Meg, you’re a brave woman, coming in here with both eyes open and your ring still removable. Luckily, since those days, Josh has realized his own worth (perhaps overestimates it now, frankly), stopped listening to his sister (hi, Jessica!), and found a woman who is absolutely the perfect match for him in every way. Meg, I don’t know how you do it, but you manage to make my best friend an even better version of himself, and when I see him look at you, I know you’re the right people for each other. I couldn’t be happier for both of you, and I wish you both the most wonderful marriage, filled with tons of happiness and laughter, because I know you both deserve it. But Josh, just in case, I’ve got some Elmer’s glue in my hotel room. To the bride and groom!