Be clear about the behavior you expect and the rules you want to set. “I expect you to put your phone away at meals with the family. We want to talk to you and I’d like to have your full attention when we’re at the table.” “Your curfew for weekends is 11pm. I know you want to hang out with your friends, but staying out late will make you tired for the school week.” Define consequences that help them learn from their mistakes. “If you stay out past your curfew once, I’ll cut it by an hour. If it keeps happening, though, the punishment is going to be grounding you for a week. I can’t have you out late with me not knowing where you are or when you’ll get back.” “If your grades start slipping, we’ll take a look at your extracurriculars and start cutting them back. School always needs to be the focus.” Give them short-term expectations to strive for. “You need to complete all of your homework for this week and take some time to study for your math test, too.” “Your chores for this week are to clean your room, wash the dishes, and help mow the lawn. If you get those done, I’ll give you only two for next week.” Set positive consequences too, to reward them for good behavior. “If you bring up your grade in biology, we can talk about you taking dance lessons.” “I’m really proud of you for not hanging out with that group anymore. If you want, we can discuss stretching your curfew for an hour, as long as you keep steering clear of them.”