Take time to make sure If you think you want to get back together, wait a month or so after breaking up before deciding to ensure you’re not just idealizing or missing them. Plan to meet in person Invite your ex out for coffee or lunch. Keep it low key and spend time catching up before discussing the relationship to make sure there’s still connection and chemistry between the two of you. Meet again to discuss the relationship Ask questions, talk about what went wrong, and (if you agree to get back together) how things will be in the future. Talk openly Be honest about what went wrong in your relationship. Use “I feel” statements to avoid blame or accusations. Example: “I felt like you didn’t listen to me when I was sharing my needs.” “I felt like second tier to your work and friends.” “I felt like you were asking too much of me and my time.” “I felt neglected and annoyed that you didn’t do special little things.” “I felt shut down whenever I shared my feelings with you.” Find solutions together Set intentions and expectations for both of you in order to avoid the old habits that lead to your breakup. Example: “I’ll be more vocal about what I need and how I’m feeling.” “I promise to put my phone away when we’re together.” “I’ll calm down before coming at you with a problem in the heat of the moment.” “I stop and really hear you out when we’re having an argument.” “I’ll devote more time and effort to our date nights.” Avoid trying to “reset” Don’t try to recreate the old relationship--there’s a reason it ended. You can repurpose the good aspects, but be sure to let go of old habits in order to create a new bond.