16 Expert-Backed Signs a Shy Guy Likes You

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Figure out if that quiet guy is secretly crushing on you
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Shy guys are usually introverted, quiet, and hard to read. You have a feeling he might be into you, but how do you know for sure? Shy guys have their own unique way of expressing their feelings—once you know what to look for, you'll be able to figure out whether he's crushing on you or not. In this article, we’ll walk you through the major signs to look for, with expert insights from dating coaches and therapists!

Biggest Signs a Shy Guy Likes You

  • He interacts with you frequently on social media.
  • He gets nervous and fidgety around you.
  • He listens closely to everything you say.
  • He remembers the little details.
  • He’s protective of you and gets a little jealous.
1

He smiles when he sees you.

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  1. A shy guy may be tight-lipped and do his best not to reveal too much, but it’s hard to disguise your initial reaction to someone. Marriage & family therapist Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC, says that if he lights up whenever you walk in the room, it’s a very good sign that he’s interested in you romantically. [1]
    • This is an especially strong sign if he doesn’t tend to do the same thing with other people.
    EXPERT TIP

    Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC

    Marriage & Family Therapist
    Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).
    Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
    Marriage & Family Therapist

    Smiles can break the ice and make anyone comfortable. When you’re approaching a shy person, be friendly, warm, and flash a smile to make them comfortable and open up a channel of trust. It’s a great way to let them know that you’re kind, friendly, and inviting.

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2

He gets quiet around you.

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  1. If he’s slightly more talkative with other people but he clams up around you specifically, it’s a sign that he’s into you. Shy guys often overthink what to say or do when they’re around people who take their breath away, so you may feel like you’re always carrying the conversation. [2]
    • This isn’t to say that he’ll avoid you. In fact, he’ll probably go out of his way to be around you—he’ll just be really quiet (and maybe a little awkward).
    • When he does try to talk to you, it’s a sign that he’s pushing his boundaries and sincerely showing you that he’s interested.
3

He listens attentively to you.

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  1. A shy guy can come off like he doesn’t really have a lot to say if he’s into you, but he’ll have no problem paying close attention to you. If it feels like he’s a very attentive listener and it seems like you’re always the one ending the conversation, it’s a sign they’re super into you. [3]
    • This is particularly noticeable in group settings. If he looks off in the distance when some people talk, but looks at you and nods along when you speak up, he’s probably interested.
    • If he ever spaces out when he talks to you or seems to get lost when you speak for more than 5-10 seconds, he may not be into you.
    • Listening is a great way to build trust! According to Ratson, “When you pay attention, act engaged, and encourage the person to share, you build the necessary trust to pave the way for them to open up.” [4]
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4

He stutters or trips over his words.

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  1. Shy guys may be quiet around other people generally, but he won’t necessarily seem awkward. If he’s around you and suddenly goes from quiet and calm to an embarrassing and perplexing goofball, it means he’s trying really hard to impress you—even if he isn’t particularly good at it. [5]
    • They may tell you odd jokes or make a lot of confusing comments. You may even get the impression that they’re messing with you sometimes.
    • If he’s just generally awkward around everybody, he’s likely just a bit of an oddball, and he may not like you.
    • According to dating coach Joshua Pompey, when your crush is nervous because they like you, “they talk very fast or they say things that are blurted out.” They may even say something embarrassing. [6]
Quiz

wikiHow Quiz: Does He Like Me?

Some guys can feel like a total mystery. How can you figure out if he likes you as just a friend—or if he wants something more? Take this quiz to find out!
1 of 15

When you two are in a room filled with other people, how often do you catch him staring at you?

5

He blushes when you compliment him.

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  1. He’ll probably have a strong reaction if you say something nice to him. Shy guys often aren’t ready to take a compliment from someone they like, and you’re going to throw them for a loop by saying something kind and sweet. Throw him a semi-flirty comment and see how he reacts. [7]
    • You might say, “Your hair looks really cute today,” “I really like your outfit,” or, “Has anyone ever told you that you look like Chris Pratt?”
    • If he likes you, he will likely stammer, clam up, or get visibly embarrassed. He may also pay you back an awkward compliment of his own.
    • If he isn't crushing on you, he won’t have a strong reaction. He may just say, “Oh, thanks,” and keep moving.
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6

He asks a ton of questions.

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  1. If a guy tends to pepper you with questions, it means that he’s interested in you. This may be super noticeable with a shy guy, though. Introverted guys tend to be a little uncomfortable when it comes to talking about themselves, so he’ll redirect the conversation to focus on you. [8]
    • This is also a sign that he wants to keep a good conversation going .
    • In addition to questions about what you’ve been up to or what you like to do in your spare time, he may ask a lot of random questions. He may ask things like, “What does your name mean?” or, “What’s the worst job you’ve ever had?”
7

He gets fidgety around you.

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  1. He may play with his hair, keep touching his nose and eyebrows, or play with his hands and fingers. When seated, he may shake his knee up and down or move around a lot. He may even be awkward with hugs and other types of physical contact. [9]
    • This is a natural reaction people have when they’re not calm, and a shy guy will definitely not be cool when they’re around someone they like.
    • If he fidgets when he’s bored and you spot it all the time when he’s in a boring class or a meeting, the fidgeting around you might not actually mean a whole lot.
    • According to dating coach John Keegan, shy, nervous guys often awkwardly try to touch or hug you when they like you. [10]
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8

He tries to impress you with his appearance.

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  1. If he’s upped his style game recently, he may be trying to impress you. While a shy guy typically won’t be the type to directly express the fact that he likes you, you’ll notice it with his appearance. If he’s the type to wear sweats and a grey shirt, you may notice him clean up his act with jeans and an ironed shirt. He may even wear fancy cologne and make sure he smells good around you if he’s really interested. [11]
9

He gives you cute nicknames.

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  1. He may be afraid to compliment you, but he’ll give you a cute nickname. When a shy guy likes you, they’ll come up with a cute nickname that shows their love, even if they’re the type to avoid directly showing it themselves. The nickname may be cheesy, related to a funny thing that happened to you two, or be cute enough to let you know he sees you as more than a friend. [12]
    • For example, if you two got caught in the rain together and your long, wet hair made you look straight out of the movie Tangled , he might call you Rapunzel.
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10

He volunteers to help you.

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  1. If he’s jumping at every opportunity to help you out, he’s super into you. But even if he hasn’t volunteered, a shy guy with a crush will jump at the opportunity to make you happy if you ask him, especially if it means they get to hang out around you. Try asking for a tiny favor and see what he does. [13]
    • You might ask him to help you carry something out of your car or help you with your math homework. If he jumps at the opportunity, he’s definitely into you.
    • If he agrees to help but doesn’t seem particularly excited about it, or he sort of sighs and says, “I guess,” he probably doesn’t have a crush on you.
11

He looks at you when you aren’t looking.

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  1. Eye contact is usually a big sign of attraction, but it’s kind of complicated with a shy guy since they may be kind of scared to lock eyes. If you ever turn your head and you spot him instantly turn his head away from you, he’s probably into you. [14]
    • A shy guy may not have the confidence to try locking eyes, winking, brushing against you, etc. They’ll steal a stare here and there if they think they can get away with it, though!
    • If he does make eye contact, it’s a big sign that he’s interested. Shy people tend to avoid eye contact unless you’re really important to them, so it’s a good indicator that he’s crushing on you.
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12

He opens up more over text or online.

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  1. Shy guys are usually not all that open in person, as they have a harder time thinking through everything they want to communicate. If this guy gets a lot better at conversation when you text them or chat over social media, it’s a big sign that they’re into you. [15]
    • You may even notice little gaps between messages. If they don’t reply right away and they take 15-60 seconds to think through their response, it means they really care what you think.
    • Keegan suggests starting text conversations with a shy guy by texting images or songs that remind you of them, or simply asking, “Hey, how’s your day going?” [16]
    • Reader Poll: We asked 955 wikiHow readers, and 50% of them agreed that the best way to help a shy or introverted person feel more comfortable is by giving them time and space to open up . [Take Poll]
13

He regularly interacts with you on social media.

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  1. A shy guy who likes you will typically be a loyal social media follower. When a shy guy likes you but is too hesitant to speak on it, he’ll usually express his feelings in other ways, like constantly interacting with you on social media. You may catch him being one of the first ones to like your posts and stories whenever you upload them. [17]
    • Although this is a big sign that he likes you, it can also come off as creepy. If you’re uncomfortable, don’t be afraid to confront him and ask him to ease up on the online comments.
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14

He remembers details about you.

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  1. If he ever remembers your favorite candy bar, or he brings you coffee in the morning just the way you like it, it reflects two things. First, it means they pay very close attention to you when you speak. Second, it means that you’re on their mind. Those little details would be forgotten if they weren’t interested in you! [18]
    • He may also remember details about your personal life. If he remembers that small town you grew up in, or he remembers you played volleyball growing up, he’s definitely thinking about you.
15

His friends ask you questions or drop hints.

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  1. Shy guys aren’t always very good at pursuing crushes directly, but that doesn’t mean they won’t try in other ways. If his friends ever ask you how you feel about him or what you think about things he’s interested in, this shy guy has probably asked his friends to test the waters for him. [19]
    • One friend may casually ask, “So, do you and James hang out a lot?” When you reply, they may follow up with something like, “Do you like hanging out with him?” or, “Oh, you two should hang out more often. James is a nice guy.”
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16

He gets jealous when you talk to other guys.

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  1. He may not make a fuss about it, but he’ll definitely get jealous. It’s normal to get jealous and protective of the people you care about, especially when you see them talking to other guys. When a shy guy likes you, he may show light signs of jealousy when you’re talking to another guy. So if you notice him getting a little possessive or acting upset when another guy has your attention, it’s a good sign he likes you. [20]
    • Signs of jealousy include questioning your motives, becoming withdrawn or distant, frequently checking up on you when you’re with another guy, and trying to know everything about your interactions with other guys.
    • Being jealous to the point where it’s toxic isn’t okay. If he tries to keep you from seeing other guys when you aren’t in a relationship, or gets extremely upset the moment he notices you talking to someone else, he may be a walking red flag .

Sample Conversation Starters

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does he like me or not?
Coconutshey
Coconutshey
basically one of my guy best friends invited his close friend to where we eat for lunch, ever since then we've chatted a couple of times but whenever we aren't talking we listen in to our friends conversations and then add on, so like usual conversation stuff but sometimes I find him staring at me very attentively, like if I fixed my hair or was eating I would catch him staring at me from across the table since it's those circular ones and I would look away but he would always be looking at me.

In our group chat with our close friends from lunch he's always one of the first people to look at the messages I send and he replies really fast, he would heart them sometimes too. When I would rant, he would always try and comfort me even when he said that he wasn't the best with talking about feelings as well.

Today I asked if anyone wanted to play a game to pass time and he saw it in the groupchat and automatically said yes and we played together. there were times were it was mostly silence since we still didn't really know know each other yet but he was really helpful. He checked up on me and asked if I was okay too after I had to leave abruptly because of my parents and he made sure I was okay. And this is where I think I'm just overthinking because he used to have matching pfps with his gf before he moved and he had her initial on his bio but now he doesn't and his pfp is his cat which in the gc he posted photos of her and I told him that she was a cutie so I don't know if he likes me or not or if this is just me overthinking and coincidences do happen but what do you guys think?
wikiHow Editorial Team
Based on what you've said, it definitely seems like there’s a chance this guy likes you! Things like staring at you from across the room and replying super quickly to all your texts are classic indicators that he has a crush. The fact that he removed the mention of his girlfriend from his social media profile also suggests that he may be single now, which is another positive sign. It seems like he could be into you, but the only way to know for sure is to ask him. This can be daunting, but it’s also exciting—it could be the start of an awesome relationship!
Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETS
Clinical Psychologist
There are a number of nonverbal signs you can look out for if you’re wondering whether your crush is attracted to you. These could be things like shifting their body in your direction, holding a door open for you, or leaning in closer to clasp onto your every word when you’re talking. Their pupils may also dilate (become larger and more noticeable) when they look at you.
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  • Question
    How do I attract a shy guy?
    Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
    Marriage & Family Therapist
    Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).
    Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
    Marriage & Family Therapist
    Expert Answer
    Be the first person to make a move to see how they respond to your advances.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
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  • Question
    How can I break the ice with a guy who's shy?
    Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
    Marriage & Family Therapist
    Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).
    Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
    Marriage & Family Therapist
    Expert Answer
    You can always try smiling at him and giving him a compliment to seem friendly and comfortable.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
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      References

      1. ↑ Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC. Marriage & Family Therapist. Expert Interview. 18 September 2019.
      2. ↑ https://www.hercampus.com/school/uic/exposed-signs-shy-guy-likes-you/
      3. ↑ https://www.hercampus.com/school/uic/exposed-signs-shy-guy-likes-you/
      4. ↑ Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC. Marriage & Family Therapist. Expert Interview. 18 September 2019.
      5. ↑ https://identity-mag.com/7-signs-shy-person-crush-on-you/
      6. ↑ Joshua Pompey. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 27 November 2019.
      7. ↑ https://medium.com/thirty-over-fifty/shy-people-dealing-with-cognitive-dissonance-compliments-f7980e1b1164
      8. ↑ https://www.bolde.com/weird-questions-guy-might-ask-when-he-likes-you/
      9. ↑ https://theconversation.com/the-surprising-science-of-fidgeting-77525
      1. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 29 June 2021.
      2. ↑ https://parade.com/1058769/marynliles/how-to-tell-if-guy-like-you/
      3. ↑ https://www.pinkvilla.com/lifestyle/relationships/signs-a-shy-guy-likes-you-1352778
      4. ↑ https://hernorm.com/signs-a-male-coworker-likes-you/
      5. ↑ https://www.heraldtimesonline.com/story/lifestyle/2017/03/21/4-signs-a-shy-guy-is-totally-into-you/46713361/
      6. ↑ https://identity-mag.com/7-signs-shy-person-crush-on-you/
      7. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 29 June 2021.
      8. ↑ https://www.pinkvilla.com/lifestyle/relationships/signs-a-shy-guy-likes-you-1352778
      9. ↑ https://identity-mag.com/7-signs-shy-person-crush-on-you/
      10. ↑ https://verilymag.com/2015/07/relationships-dating-why-wont-he-ask-me-out
      11. ↑ https://www.pinkvilla.com/lifestyle/relationships/signs-a-shy-guy-likes-you-1352778

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      To know if a shy guy likes you, watch if he's more nervous around you than he is around other people. You should also look at his body language for signs of nerves, like crossed arms or gesturing, which may suggest he’s hiding his feelings. When he’s nearby, watch out of your peripheral vision to see if he steals glances at you when you’re not looking, which will show he’s into you. If you want to find out how he feels towards you, ask him for a small favor, like carrying your heavy bag, since if he goes out of his way to help you he probably likes you. Alternatively, pay him a compliment, such as “Thanks for helping me with that math problem,” and watch for his response. You may notice that he clams up, appears embarrassed, or stammers if he likes you. For tips on how to ask a shy guy out, read on!

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