School stresses me out SO much! Why??
Is school designed to be stressful? I feel like me and my friends are always stressing about the next test or assignment. We spend all day at school and then have to go home and do homework for hours on top of extracurriculars and chores. Some of us even have to juggle a job too. How are we supposed to do well in school and take care of ourselves and have a social life? Is there anything I can do to make school less stressful?
View hidden comment
Expert Comments
Feeling less stressed about school is essential for maintaining your well-being and academic performance. Here are some strategies to help alleviate school-related stress:
1. Time Management: Efficiently managing your time is crucial. Create a schedule or to-do list to organize your tasks, assignments, and study sessions. Prioritize your workload, allocating more time to important assignments and exams.
2. Break Tasks into Smaller Steps: When faced with a big project or assignment, break it into smaller, manageable tasks. This approach makes the workload feel less overwhelming and allows you to focus on one step at a time.
3. Practice Self-Care: Taking care of your physical and mental health is paramount. Ensure you get enough sleep, eat nutritious meals, and engage in regular exercise. These habits can improve your resilience to stress.
4. Seek Help and Support: Don't hesitate to reach out to teachers, professors, or classmates if you're struggling with coursework. Seeking clarification or assistance can alleviate academic stress and help you perform better.
5. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Incorporate mindfulness and relaxation practices into your daily routine. Techniques like deep breathing, meditation, or yoga can help reduce stress and improve concentration. You can also try using something like therapy dough to maintain focus on the task at hand.
6. Set Realistic Goals: Establish achievable academic goals. Unrealistic expectations can lead to unnecessary stress. Break your goals into manageable milestones and celebrate your progress.
7. Time for Hobbies and Interests: Make time for activities and hobbies you enjoy outside of school. Engaging in your passions provides a healthy balance and relieves stress.
8. Socialize and Connect: Spend time with friends and family to maintain a support system. Sharing your concerns and experiences can help alleviate stress, and social connections are essential for overall well-being.
9. Study Smart, Not Hard: Develop effective study habits, such as active learning, spaced repetition, and taking regular breaks. Quality study sessions are often more productive than long, exhausting ones.
10. Stay Organized: Keep your study space and materials organized to reduce the stress of searching for what you need. Use a calendar and task lists. An organized environment can promote a sense of control.
11. Limit Distractions: Minimize distractions when studying. Put away your phone or use apps that block distracting websites to help you stay focused. Therapy dough is also great to stay on task!
12. Positive Self-Talk: Be mindful of your inner dialogue. Replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations. A positive mindset can help you approach challenges with confidence.
13. Know When to Take Breaks: Recognize your limits and know when to take breaks. Overloading yourself can lead to burnout. Short breaks can rejuvenate your mind.
Remember that school-related stress is a common experience, and it's essential to prioritize self-care and seek support when needed. By implementing these strategies and finding what works best for you, you can reduce stress and approach your academic journey with greater confidence and resilience.
View hidden comment
1. Time Management: Efficiently managing your time is crucial. Create a schedule or to-do list to organize your tasks, assignments, and study sessions. Prioritize your workload, allocating more time to important assignments and exams.
2. Break Tasks into Smaller Steps: When faced with a big project or assignment, break it into smaller, manageable tasks. This approach makes the workload feel less overwhelming and allows you to focus on one step at a time.
3. Practice Self-Care: Taking care of your physical and mental health is paramount. Ensure you get enough sleep, eat nutritious meals, and engage in regular exercise. These habits can improve your resilience to stress.
4. Seek Help and Support: Don't hesitate to reach out to teachers, professors, or classmates if you're struggling with coursework. Seeking clarification or assistance can alleviate academic stress and help you perform better.
5. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Incorporate mindfulness and relaxation practices into your daily routine. Techniques like deep breathing, meditation, or yoga can help reduce stress and improve concentration. You can also try using something like therapy dough to maintain focus on the task at hand.
6. Set Realistic Goals: Establish achievable academic goals. Unrealistic expectations can lead to unnecessary stress. Break your goals into manageable milestones and celebrate your progress.
7. Time for Hobbies and Interests: Make time for activities and hobbies you enjoy outside of school. Engaging in your passions provides a healthy balance and relieves stress.
8. Socialize and Connect: Spend time with friends and family to maintain a support system. Sharing your concerns and experiences can help alleviate stress, and social connections are essential for overall well-being.
9. Study Smart, Not Hard: Develop effective study habits, such as active learning, spaced repetition, and taking regular breaks. Quality study sessions are often more productive than long, exhausting ones.
10. Stay Organized: Keep your study space and materials organized to reduce the stress of searching for what you need. Use a calendar and task lists. An organized environment can promote a sense of control.
11. Limit Distractions: Minimize distractions when studying. Put away your phone or use apps that block distracting websites to help you stay focused. Therapy dough is also great to stay on task!
12. Positive Self-Talk: Be mindful of your inner dialogue. Replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations. A positive mindset can help you approach challenges with confidence.
13. Know When to Take Breaks: Recognize your limits and know when to take breaks. Overloading yourself can lead to burnout. Short breaks can rejuvenate your mind.
Remember that school-related stress is a common experience, and it's essential to prioritize self-care and seek support when needed. By implementing these strategies and finding what works best for you, you can reduce stress and approach your academic journey with greater confidence and resilience.
A big reason why students may feel overwhelmed is that they don't invest time and energy in developing their organizational and time management skills. I always recommend that students learn Stephen Covey's Theory of Prioritization. Imagine a graph with four quadrants, with one axis having the labels "Urgent" and "Not-Urgent" and the other having the labels "Important" and "Not Important." Then, tasks can be categorized into each quadrant, as seen below:
Q1: Important and Urgent: Things that are due today or tomorrow; these are either emergencies or crisis. (ex: finish an entire persuasive essay in one night.)
Q2: Important and Not Urgent: Long-term projects, studying in advance, or getting started on a task. (ex: doing homework due in a week.)
Q3: Not Important and Urgent: Interruptions, distractions, last minute events, and social situations. (ex: someone asks for a favor.)
Q4: Not Important and Not Urgent: Time waster - busy work, procrastination. (ex: Youtube, Netflix, etc.)
Most students leave assignments until they are both Urgent and Important, which (understandably) makes them feel overwhelmed. If, however, you are able to do your important assignments when they are not-yet-urgent, you'll have the time you need to calmly brainstorm and make a plan.
If I had a student who was behind in many of their school assignments, I would suggest that they take a weekend and turn it into a Homework Retreat. You can do this yourself or hire a tutor. Schedule an entire weekend to get all of your school and homework assignments completed. Setting aside just one free weekend will give you a chance to be fully caught up once you return to school the following week. When planning out your weekend, don't forget to schedule in breaks, snacks, rewards, and energizing activities.
View hidden comment
Q1: Important and Urgent: Things that are due today or tomorrow; these are either emergencies or crisis. (ex: finish an entire persuasive essay in one night.)
Q2: Important and Not Urgent: Long-term projects, studying in advance, or getting started on a task. (ex: doing homework due in a week.)
Q3: Not Important and Urgent: Interruptions, distractions, last minute events, and social situations. (ex: someone asks for a favor.)
Q4: Not Important and Not Urgent: Time waster - busy work, procrastination. (ex: Youtube, Netflix, etc.)
Most students leave assignments until they are both Urgent and Important, which (understandably) makes them feel overwhelmed. If, however, you are able to do your important assignments when they are not-yet-urgent, you'll have the time you need to calmly brainstorm and make a plan.
If I had a student who was behind in many of their school assignments, I would suggest that they take a weekend and turn it into a Homework Retreat. You can do this yourself or hire a tutor. Schedule an entire weekend to get all of your school and homework assignments completed. Setting aside just one free weekend will give you a chance to be fully caught up once you return to school the following week. When planning out your weekend, don't forget to schedule in breaks, snacks, rewards, and energizing activities.
School has a lot of expectations built in. You're supposed to sit quietly, learn quickly, pivot from one idea to another. You have to be able to block out the sound of other people talking and learn the first time around, and apply that information really quickly. If you need to move in order to learn, or practice things in order to learn, or talk in order to learn, if you just don't like the feeling of other people telling you what to do, you may feel angry and frustrated and claustrophobic. The world is built on a very specific kind of learner. And not very many people match that. In fact, the majority of kids diverge from that ideal learner. And so when you look at it from that perspective, schools are not meeting the needs of most of the kids in the classroom.
One of the reasons that school is really hard for kids is because of ableism. Because there's not a built-in understanding that all brains are different, and all brains are good. And that all those different learning styles matter . We are all born inherently curious, and we learn best when we're interested in the subject matter, but the classroom typically doesn’t have the flexibility to allow kids to learn as they’re interested. The problem is, when we're force-fed education, it depletes our natural curiosity until we forget what it feels like to learn that way anymore. And many of us have to relearn somewhere along the way, whether it's college or maybe we have a great teacher in high school, who's really trying to encourage curiosity, we have to relearn all over again, how to be curious. For example, lots of people stop reading for pleasure because they've been force-fed reading.
The first piece is to know that you're not making it up. If you feel like “School's killing me and I hate it here,” I think it's okay to say, “What if that's true? What if I'm not just being an annoying obstinate teenager? What if I'm actually seeing something that's right and true about this system,” but then also, you don't have a ton of control, you have to be there. The other thing is to know that your curiosity is the most powerful tool that you have . If there is a way that you can get curious, you can hack the system that you're handed with your own curiosity.
For me, when I was trying to learn in school, I had a lot of working memory issues, but I loved to sing. And so, I would sing my note cards, every word I had to memorize, and I would pair with another word that I liked to say inside of my head, something that I loved. That helped me to learn in the way that I was being told to learn. Maybe for you, that’s walking. By walking at the same time as you read, you feel happier, or maybe for you, that's tying everything to your special interest in anime or whatever it is. But remember that there's nothing wrong with using the way that you were built to learn . And no other way of learning is going to be as good as the way that you learn.
If there's one thing you could get curious about right now, even in school, when it feels like it's killing you, it's like who are you as a learner on the inside, what helps you to learn. And then even if no one around knows, be kind of a secret agent and weave in what you're finding out about your learning style. One day, I promise that's going to help you. And for now, it might be a little bit subversive, but that's okay. Learning about how you learn and learning about your brain is only going to serve you as you go further in your education.
View hidden comment
One of the reasons that school is really hard for kids is because of ableism. Because there's not a built-in understanding that all brains are different, and all brains are good. And that all those different learning styles matter . We are all born inherently curious, and we learn best when we're interested in the subject matter, but the classroom typically doesn’t have the flexibility to allow kids to learn as they’re interested. The problem is, when we're force-fed education, it depletes our natural curiosity until we forget what it feels like to learn that way anymore. And many of us have to relearn somewhere along the way, whether it's college or maybe we have a great teacher in high school, who's really trying to encourage curiosity, we have to relearn all over again, how to be curious. For example, lots of people stop reading for pleasure because they've been force-fed reading.
The first piece is to know that you're not making it up. If you feel like “School's killing me and I hate it here,” I think it's okay to say, “What if that's true? What if I'm not just being an annoying obstinate teenager? What if I'm actually seeing something that's right and true about this system,” but then also, you don't have a ton of control, you have to be there. The other thing is to know that your curiosity is the most powerful tool that you have . If there is a way that you can get curious, you can hack the system that you're handed with your own curiosity.
For me, when I was trying to learn in school, I had a lot of working memory issues, but I loved to sing. And so, I would sing my note cards, every word I had to memorize, and I would pair with another word that I liked to say inside of my head, something that I loved. That helped me to learn in the way that I was being told to learn. Maybe for you, that’s walking. By walking at the same time as you read, you feel happier, or maybe for you, that's tying everything to your special interest in anime or whatever it is. But remember that there's nothing wrong with using the way that you were built to learn . And no other way of learning is going to be as good as the way that you learn.
If there's one thing you could get curious about right now, even in school, when it feels like it's killing you, it's like who are you as a learner on the inside, what helps you to learn. And then even if no one around knows, be kind of a secret agent and weave in what you're finding out about your learning style. One day, I promise that's going to help you. And for now, it might be a little bit subversive, but that's okay. Learning about how you learn and learning about your brain is only going to serve you as you go further in your education.
For what it's worth, I want to validate your perspective – the pressure on kids has definitely increased. First, it was the pressure of honors courses– then it was AP, then IB, and also the uptick in athletic pressure–it’s a lot! I think there’s a balance where you need some challenge in order to stay engaged. When you aren’t challenging yourself and you're bored, your output is low. However, sometimes I think teens feel like they have to excel at everything and that they have to do everything perfectly. However, maybe there parts of your schedule that don't need to be “perfect”.
So, what I’d suggest to make school feel less stressful is to make a list of everything you’re spending time on; your classes, extracurriculars, hobbies, other commitments, everything! Then, evaluate for yourself, “What are the things that suck? And… can any of them be cut out or minimized?”. That process can actually be really eye-opening for a lot of kids.
Plus, research really does say that kids need downtime. You need social development time with your friends to just chill where it's not “super-achievement” mode. If you’re a perfectionist and it helps to hear me say that there is scientific research showing that you need downtime to develop, then let that empower you to find time for activities and hobbies that relax you and are restful! It might be meditation, walking outside, watching cartoons, doing a skincare routine, whatever. More of that, please!
View hidden comment
So, what I’d suggest to make school feel less stressful is to make a list of everything you’re spending time on; your classes, extracurriculars, hobbies, other commitments, everything! Then, evaluate for yourself, “What are the things that suck? And… can any of them be cut out or minimized?”. That process can actually be really eye-opening for a lot of kids.
Plus, research really does say that kids need downtime. You need social development time with your friends to just chill where it's not “super-achievement” mode. If you’re a perfectionist and it helps to hear me say that there is scientific research showing that you need downtime to develop, then let that empower you to find time for activities and hobbies that relax you and are restful! It might be meditation, walking outside, watching cartoons, doing a skincare routine, whatever. More of that, please!
Reader Comments
Oof I really struggle with time management and being more organized, so these strategies are awesome!! I just feel like I get overwhelmed by the amount of tests and assignments and then I just can't get myself started, does anyone else feel like that? Does anyone have any ideas to stay on top of school things better so they don't feel so overwhelming?
View hidden comment
I know right? I'm always having an exam or big project due the next day. I wake up earlier than I go to bed, then after school, I go to the library, then I go home to study for long hours for my midterms, then stay up when the whole house is asleep to finish my group's project. The teachers send and post millions of revision materials every day for every subject. I often wake up with a book lying on my face. I sometimes forget to shower or even brush my teeth! On top of that, being a smart student makes it worse because I have 2 MAJOR COMPETITORS in my class that I'm desperately trying to beat (even when I compare myself to myself). I read the bible in my spare minutes before I flop on the bed. I barely make it through my classes thanks to midterms! I don't sleep the way I used to!!! (it's practically equivalent to no sleep at all)
Someone help me!
View hidden comment
Someone help me!
Taking care of yourself is so important, though - sleep, diet, all that stuff matters and will affect your focus and stress levels long term. How much sleep are you getting?
View hidden comment
Ooph that's rough, that def doesn't seem enough long term to stay healthy and stress-free. Is there anyone who'll understand - parent, teacher, tutor, who might be able to help you prioritize? Might need to take some stuff off your plate, or figure out how to be more efficient in your tasks/time-management. If at all possible, I'd try to stick to a solid sleep/wake time to make sure you're ready for each day with like 7 hours of sleep.
View hidden comment
Oh I found using a priority matrix so helpful, I definitely second that. It felt really good to look at things based on how important they were, really helped me finish all my work without feeling overwhelmed. But I do still really struggle with tests (who doesn't lol) and I just think I have crazy bad test anxiety. No matter how much time I schedule to study for a test, I still get so stressed by it and end up panicking. If anyone has any test anxiety tips I would LOVE to hear them!!
View hidden comment
I got a 75/100 on a language art writing assesment and I'm really upset because my goal was to have a grade above a 90 on all my tests but now the semester is ending and im really sad could you help me(im in 6th grade)
View hidden comment
Hello! I'd recommend if you're reading a book: to study the book you're reading on, is there a villain/antagonist in the story or a hero/protagonist in the story? Then you can study more on what they do, why they do it and what their goal might be. Then look at other characters- don't leave anyone out of the picture! What do they do? Why would they do it? And does it help either side? And for writing, try re-reading it twice. "What am I writing about?" "What part of the story might be including this information?".
View hidden comment
Sounds like you're a high achieving student! I was a high achieving student too. Something that helped me stress less about school was taking a step back and trying to see the big picture. If I was stressing about one test, I'd remind myself that in the grand scheme of things it didn't really mean much. I'd also remind myself that stressing about school wasn't helpful, and was actually probably negatively impacting my work.
View hidden comment
If you are feeling stressed at school, get a daily planner. If you can't remember what the homework was for your Math class, the next time you are there, you can just write it down!
As for the tests, wikiHow has many articles on how to study and be prepared, and it even has an article on how to deal with exam stress!
Just remember to be calm, relax, and remember that one bad grade does not mean you are stupid.
View hidden comment
As for the tests, wikiHow has many articles on how to study and be prepared, and it even has an article on how to deal with exam stress!
Just remember to be calm, relax, and remember that one bad grade does not mean you are stupid.
Maybe meditate every day before school, but if you don't have time for that then you could take deep breaths when you're feeling very stressed.
View hidden comment
Does anyone use any apps for school organization/prioritization that help? Or maybe something for actually calming down in the moment, like meditation or something? Trying to find some options to suggest to my stressed-out friend
View hidden comment
school is just a way to beat you down so that you cant have the time and good mental space to help change the system. They're actively against you and making it harder to succeed and move up in ranks of finical stability. drop out.
View hidden comment
School isn't there to beat you, it's there to help you! As much as I'm not a fan of school, there's many reasons why school is special!
View hidden comment
I think you might be in the wrong forum, this is about school. I hope you understand. ♪(^∇^*)
View hidden comment
What’s on your mind? Ask anything.
Get advice and feedback from experts and wikiHow readers just like you.
Ask a Question
More Forum Discussions
What do other wikiHow readers have to say?
Other wikiHow readers have submitted their own tips on topics similar to this one.
Reader Tips from How to Cope With Stress at School
Make a 'to do' list and place the things in order based on how time consuming, difficult and important they are. Then, work through the list strategically and you'll feel good when you've done them and you can tick them off. I know it's cliché but it really does help!
Don't worry about getting a 100 on every single test, it's not going to happen. As long as you do your very best, that's all that matters. If you make a C on your biology test, for example, study harder for the next one in order to keep the A you want.
Talk to friends about issues. Maybe they can help you handle it or take it away. Often your friends are the best people in the world to talk to.
Reader Tips from How to Deal With Exam Stress
As tempting as it may be to pull an all-nighter (or late night) study session so that you feel confident the day before an exam, but not getting sleep will actually make you more stressed out. Get at least 8 hours of sleep the day before the big test!
Stay hydrated. Don't eat junk food. Say no to pop, alcohol, and drugs. The better you physically feel, the easier it will be to deal with stress.
It may help to recognize that every student has exam stress in one way or another. You are not unique or alone in this.
Reader Tips from How to Get Rid of Study Stress
Study stress, in my experience, comes from a fear of the future. You're anxious about how you're going to perform on the test that hasn't happened yet. If that's the case for you, pulling yourself back into the moment by drinking something cold or opening a window can really help you stay focused on the "now."
Take breaks! If you're studying so hard that you're beginning to stress out about it, go on a walk. Play a game. Do something interesting. You're not going to be productive in your studying if you are too anxious to actually absorb any information.
Ask a Question
Trending Discussions
I don't know what to do with my life
I’m 21, and I feel hopeless. I’m working full-time at a cafe, barely getting by. I hate it but can’t find anything else to do. I don’t know what I want to do, I don’t really feel like I’m good at anything, and nothing really excites me. I feel like all I can do is survive.
Read More
I feel really lonely. Let's talk about loneliness.
This quiz said I'm lonely, and it's right. But I can't be the only one, right? What did you all get?
Read More
You guys I need tips how to regain self confidence!
Idk but I am losing confidence in myself please help!😭😭😭
Read More
