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Am I a Difficult Person?

Take this quiz to find out!

Difficult people. You know them—you might work with them, be friends with them, or even have them in your family. But have you ever stopped to wonder if you might be considered a difficult person yourself?

Answer these quick questions, and we’ll tell you how difficult you are—and also, what personality trait of yours is most difficult for others to deal with.

In an office, a woman holding a notebook stands above a seated woman, pointing at her and yelling.

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Questions Overview

1. Overall, people tell me that I’m likable and an easy person to get along with.
  1. Strongly agree
  2. Agree
  3. Neutral
  4. Disagree
2. I don’t have trouble making or keeping friends.
  1. Strongly agree
  2. Agree
  3. Neutral
  4. Disagree
3. Generally speaking, I want to be someone who makes other people happier and makes their lives easier.
  1. Strongly agree
  2. Agree
  3. Neutral
  4. Disagree
4. I don’t really care about my friends’ problems—that’s not my responsibility.
  1. Strongly agree
  2. Agree
  3. Neutral
  4. Disagree
5. When my friends or colleagues are sad, it doesn’t really affect me at all.
  1. Strongly agree
  2. Agree
  3. Neutral
  4. Disagree
6. I’ve had people call me “cold,” “callous,” “uncaring,” or “mean.”
  1. Strongly agree
  2. Agree
  3. Neutral
  4. Disagree
7. I’m generally more talented, smart, or special than other people.
  1. Strongly agree
  2. Agree
  3. Neutral
  4. Disagree
8. I often find myself talking about my accomplishments—I even exaggerate them sometimes, to be honest.
  1. Strongly agree
  2. Agree
  3. Neutral
  4. Disagree
9. Other people think my life is amazing, and they probably wish they were more like me.
  1. Strongly agree
  2. Agree
  3. Neutral
  4. Disagree
10. When I’m angry or upset, I rarely hold my tongue. Instead, I might yell or hurl insults.
  1. Strongly agree
  2. Agree
  3. Neutral
  4. Disagree
11. I’ve been called “rude” or “angry” by lots of people in the past.
  1. Strongly agree
  2. Agree
  3. Neutral
  4. Disagree
12. I end up in conflicts more than other people do, probably because I don’t care if I offend people.
  1. Strongly agree
  2. Agree
  3. Neutral
  4. Disagree
13. I don’t trust others easily, so I rarely open up to people.
  1. Strongly agree
  2. Agree
  3. Neutral
  4. Disagree
14. In relationships, I feel like I have to check their phones and search for signs of cheating—even if they’ve always been trustworthy.
  1. Strongly agree
  2. Agree
  3. Neutral
  4. Disagree
15. Generally speaking, I expect the worst in other people.
  1. Strongly agree
  2. Agree
  3. Neutral
  4. Disagree
16. When people give me leverage in conversation (by sharing a secret, for instance), I take a mental note so I can use it later.
  1. Strongly agree
  2. Agree
  3. Neutral
  4. Disagree
17. I tell people nice things that I don’t mean, just to get what I want.
  1. Strongly agree
  2. Agree
  3. Neutral
  4. Disagree
18. I regularly try to influence people’s actions to help me achieve my end goal.
  1. Strongly agree
  2. Agree
  3. Neutral
  4. Disagree

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In short: you\u2019re the opposite of difficult. You make other people\u2019s lives easier, and it\u2019s your good-natured heart that drives you to treat others with respect and care. We think that\u2019s amazing!","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Deal-With-Difficult-People"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Stop-Being-a-People-Pleaser"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How to Handle Difficult People","id":644112,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Deal-With-Difficult-People","image":"\/images\/thumb\/3\/34\/Deal-With-Difficult-People-Step-12.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Deal-With-Difficult-People-Step-12.jpg","alt":"How to Handle Difficult People"},{"title":"How to Stop Being a People Pleaser","id":178334,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Stop-Being-a-People-Pleaser","image":"\/images\/thumb\/3\/31\/Stop-Being-a-People-Pleaser-Step-13.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Stop-Being-a-People-Pleaser-Step-13.jpg","alt":"How to Stop Being a People Pleaser"}],"minimum":0},{"text":"Your difficulty levels are average.","meaning":"Looking at your answers, it seems like overall, you\u2019re totally average in terms of \u201cdifficulty.\u201d But what does that mean exactly? In short, you\u2019re probably agreeable sometimes, and difficult on your bad days\u2014after all, you\u2019re human! As a result, you probably make friends pretty easily, have a good amount of empathy for others, and are an easygoing person to be around. In all likelihood, other people don\u2019t tell you that you\u2019re a difficult person\u2026because you\u2019re not! You might sometimes act difficult, but that\u2019s totally normal.

And, like we mentioned, nobody\u2019s perfect\u2014everyone is difficult sometimes. For you, it looks like your top \u201cdifficulty type,\u201d or the difficult instinct that you\u2019re most likely to act on, is callousness. Callousness refers to a lack of sensitivity to other people\u2019s feelings, and it can pop up for a ton of different reasons. If you\u2019re tired, you might not have the energy to listen patiently to someone\u2019s problems; if you\u2019ve been hurt in the past, you might try not to care about other people in order to spare your own feelings. Either way, acting a little callous at times isn\u2019t the end of the world\u2014but if you want to try to avoid it in the future, you absolutely can. Check out the expert-approved guides we included below to get started.","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Empathize"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Become-a-Nicer-Person-to-Others"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How to Empathize","id":689005,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Empathize","image":"\/images\/thumb\/6\/64\/Empathize-Step-15-Version-4.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Empathize-Step-15-Version-4.jpg.png","alt":"How to Empathize"},{"title":"How to Become a Nicer Person to Others","id":426831,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Become-a-Nicer-Person-to-Others","image":"\/images\/thumb\/8\/8f\/Become-a-Nicer-Person-to-Others-Step-15.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Become-a-Nicer-Person-to-Others-Step-15.jpg","alt":"How to Become a Nicer Person to Others"}],"minimum":0},{"text":"Your difficulty levels are average.","meaning":"Looking at your answers, it seems like overall, you\u2019re totally average in terms of \u201cdifficulty.\u201d But what does that mean exactly? In short, you\u2019re probably agreeable sometimes, and difficult on your bad days\u2014after all, you\u2019re human! As a result, you probably make friends pretty easily, have a good amount of empathy for others, and are an easygoing person to be around. In all likelihood, other people don\u2019t tell you that you\u2019re a difficult person\u2026because you\u2019re not! You might sometimes act difficult, but that\u2019s totally normal.

And, like we mentioned, everyone\u2019s difficult in some way. For you, it looks like your top \u201cdifficulty type,\u201d or the difficult instinct that you\u2019re most likely to act on when you\u2019ve had a bad day, is self-centeredness. Self-centeredness refers to a feeling of superiority over other people, or a tendency to act selfishly. This is a very common behavior, but it can hurt other people\u2014which is why it\u2019s considered a \u201cdifficult\u201d quality. Acting a little self-centered every now and again isn\u2019t the end of the world, but still, if you want to avoid these behaviors in the future, you absolutely can. Check out the expert-approved guides we included below to get started.","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Stop-Being-Selfish"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Stop-Being-Self-Centered"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How to Stop Being Selfish","id":22419,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Stop-Being-Selfish","image":"\/images\/thumb\/5\/52\/Stop-Being-Selfish-Step-28-Version-2.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Stop-Being-Selfish-Step-28-Version-2.jpg","alt":"How to Stop Being Selfish"},{"title":"How to Stop Being Self Centered","id":1783542,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Stop-Being-Self-Centered","image":"\/images\/thumb\/1\/1c\/Stop-Being-Self-Centered-Step-12-Version-2.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Stop-Being-Self-Centered-Step-12-Version-2.jpg","alt":"How to Stop Being Self Centered"}],"minimum":0},{"text":"Your difficulty levels are average.","meaning":"Looking at your answers, it seems like overall, you\u2019re totally average in terms of \u201cdifficulty.\u201d But what does that mean exactly? In short, you\u2019re probably agreeable sometimes, and difficult on your bad days\u2014after all, you\u2019re human! As a result, you probably make friends pretty easily, have a good amount of empathy for others, and are an easygoing person to be around. In all likelihood, other people don\u2019t tell you that you\u2019re a difficult person\u2026because you\u2019re not! You might sometimes act difficult, but that\u2019s totally normal.

And, like we mentioned, everyone\u2019s difficult in some way. For you, it looks like your top \u201cdifficulty type,\u201d or the difficult instinct that you\u2019re most likely to act on, is aggressiveness. If someone acts aggressively, it means that they might express their negative emotions in a big way, like through yelling or insults. So if someone is tired or they\u2019ve had a bad day, they might not control their emotions well\u2014instead of staying calm, they might act aggressively instead. But luckily, there are so many expert-approved ways to limit aggressive behaviors, and we\u2019ve included everything you need to know. Check out the guides included below to get started.","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Calm-Down-When-You-are-Angry"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Express-Anger-Without-Hurting-People"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How to Calm Down When You are Angry","id":2397957,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Calm-Down-When-You-are-Angry","image":"\/images\/thumb\/f\/ff\/Calm-Down-When-You-are-Angry-Step-21-Version-2.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Calm-Down-When-You-are-Angry-Step-21-Version-2.jpg","alt":"How to Calm Down When You are Angry"},{"title":"How to Express Anger Without Hurting People","id":553387,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Express-Anger-Without-Hurting-People","image":"\/images\/thumb\/d\/da\/Express-Anger-Without-Hurting-People-Step-24-Version-2.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Express-Anger-Without-Hurting-People-Step-24-Version-2.jpg","alt":"How to Express Anger Without Hurting People"}],"minimum":0},{"text":"Your difficulty levels are average.","meaning":"Looking at your answers, it seems like overall, you\u2019re totally average in terms of \u201cdifficulty.\u201d But what does that mean exactly? In short, you\u2019re probably agreeable sometimes, and difficult on your bad days\u2014after all, you\u2019re human! As a result, you probably make friends pretty easily, have a good amount of empathy for others, and are an easygoing person to be around. In all likelihood, other people don\u2019t tell you that you\u2019re a difficult person\u2026because you\u2019re not! You might sometimes act difficult, but that\u2019s totally normal.

And, like we mentioned, everyone\u2019s difficult in some way. For you, it looks like your top \u201cdifficulty type,\u201d or the difficult instinct that you\u2019re most likely to act on when you\u2019ve had a bad day, is suspicion. Suspicion refers to a person\u2019s tendency to expect the worst in others. Suspicious people might expect partners to cheat and expect friends to betray them. This impulse can come from a totally valid and understandable place\u2014like being raised by an inconsistent or disappointing parent. But still, when someone searches for bad treatment from others, it can strain relationships (and yes, make that person act \u201cdifficult\u201d at times!). But if you want to work on changing your world outlook, you totally can! Check out these guides below to get started.","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Optimistic"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Believe-in-Someone"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How to Be More Optimistic","id":15230,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Optimistic","image":"\/images\/thumb\/e\/e0\/Be-Optimistic-Step-27.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Be-Optimistic-Step-27.jpg","alt":"How to Be More Optimistic"},{"title":"How to Believe in Someone","id":12709623,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Believe-in-Someone","image":"\/images\/thumb\/c\/cb\/Believe-in-Someone-Step-10.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Believe-in-Someone-Step-10.jpg","alt":"How to Believe in Someone"}],"minimum":0},{"text":"Your difficulty levels are average.","meaning":"Looking at your answers, it seems like overall, you\u2019re totally average in terms of \u201cdifficulty.\u201d But what does that mean exactly? In short, you\u2019re probably agreeable sometimes, and difficult on your bad days\u2014after all, you\u2019re human! As a result, you probably make friends pretty easily, have a good amount of empathy for others, and are an easygoing person to be around. In all likelihood, other people don\u2019t tell you that you\u2019re a difficult person\u2026because you\u2019re not! You might sometimes act difficult, but that\u2019s totally normal.

And, like we mentioned, everyone\u2019s difficult in some way. For you, it looks like your top \u201cdifficulty type,\u201d or the difficult instinct that you\u2019re most likely to act on when you\u2019ve had a bad day, is manipulativeness. A manipulative person is someone who tries to control or change other people\u2019s behavior, especially through covert methods. Manipulation is actually pretty common, and it can come from good intentions\u2014for example, someone might try to subtly get a friend to end their toxic relationship. But ultimately, everyone deserves to make their own choices in life, which is why manipulativeness isn\u2019t a fair behavior (and ultimately, why it\u2019s seen as a \u201cdifficult\u201d quality). If you want to learn to be less manipulative, you totally can! Check out these guides below to get started.","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Stop-Being-Manipulative"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Stop-Being-Controlling"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How to Stop Being Manipulative","id":10773399,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Stop-Being-Manipulative","image":"\/images\/thumb\/a\/a8\/Stop-Being-Manipulative-Step-16.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Stop-Being-Manipulative-Step-16.jpg","alt":"How to Stop Being Manipulative"},{"title":"How to Stop Being Controlling","id":787374,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Stop-Being-Controlling","image":"\/images\/thumb\/4\/4e\/Stop-Being-Controlling-Step-17-Version-2.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Stop-Being-Controlling-Step-17-Version-2.jpg","alt":"How to Stop Being Controlling"}],"minimum":0},{"text":"You might be a difficult person.","meaning":"Looking at your answers, it seems like you might be slightly above average in terms of \u201cdifficult\u201d qualities. But in all honesty, that\u2019s actually not the end of the world. \u201cDifficult\u201d traits are totally subjective, and sometimes, our \u201cdifficult\u201d qualities are what lead us to do amazing things. As long as you\u2019re trying your best to be true to yourself and treat others how you want to be treated, being \u201cdifficult\u201d doesn\u2019t have to be a bad thing at all.

Curious to know what your top difficult trait is? According to your results, it looks like it might be callousness. Callousness refers to a lack of sensitivity to other people\u2019s feelings, and it can pop up for a ton of different reasons. If you\u2019re tired, you might not have the energy to listen patiently to someone\u2019s problems; if you\u2019ve been hurt in the past, you might try not to care about other people in order to spare your own feelings. Either way, acting a little callous at times isn\u2019t the end of the world\u2014but if you want to try to avoid it in the future, you absolutely can. Check out the expert-approved guides we included below to get started.","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Empathize"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Become-a-Nicer-Person-to-Others"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How to Empathize","id":689005,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Empathize","image":"\/images\/thumb\/6\/64\/Empathize-Step-15-Version-4.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Empathize-Step-15-Version-4.jpg.png","alt":"How to Empathize"},{"title":"How to Become a Nicer Person to Others","id":426831,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Become-a-Nicer-Person-to-Others","image":"\/images\/thumb\/8\/8f\/Become-a-Nicer-Person-to-Others-Step-15.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Become-a-Nicer-Person-to-Others-Step-15.jpg","alt":"How to Become a Nicer Person to Others"}],"minimum":0},{"text":"You might be a difficult person.","meaning":"Looking at your answers, it seems like you might be slightly above average in terms of \u201cdifficult\u201d qualities. But in all honesty, that\u2019s actually not the end of the world. \u201cDifficult\u201d traits are totally subjective, and sometimes, our \u201cdifficult\u201d qualities are what lead us to do amazing things. As long as you\u2019re trying your best to be true to yourself and treat others how you want to be treated, being \u201cdifficult\u201d doesn\u2019t have to be a bad thing at all.

Curious to know what your top difficult trait is? According to your results, it looks like it might be self-centeredness. Self-centeredness refers to a feeling of superiority over other people, or a tendency to act selfishly. This is a very common behavior, but it can hurt other people\u2014which is why it\u2019s considered a \u201cdifficult\u201d quality. Acting a little self-centered every now and again isn\u2019t the end of the world, but still, if you want to avoid these behaviors in the future, you absolutely can. Check out the expert-approved guides we included below to get started.","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Stop-Being-Selfish"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Stop-Being-Self-Centered"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How to Stop Being Selfish","id":22419,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Stop-Being-Selfish","image":"\/images\/thumb\/5\/52\/Stop-Being-Selfish-Step-28-Version-2.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Stop-Being-Selfish-Step-28-Version-2.jpg","alt":"How to Stop Being Selfish"},{"title":"How to Stop Being Self Centered","id":1783542,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Stop-Being-Self-Centered","image":"\/images\/thumb\/1\/1c\/Stop-Being-Self-Centered-Step-12-Version-2.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Stop-Being-Self-Centered-Step-12-Version-2.jpg","alt":"How to Stop Being Self Centered"}],"minimum":0},{"text":"You might be a difficult person.","meaning":"Looking at your answers, it seems like you might be slightly above average in terms of \u201cdifficult\u201d qualities. But in all honesty, that\u2019s actually not the end of the world. \u201cDifficult\u201d traits are totally subjective, and sometimes, our \u201cdifficult\u201d qualities are what lead us to do amazing things. As long as you\u2019re trying your best to be true to yourself and treat others how you want to be treated, being \u201cdifficult\u201d doesn\u2019t have to be a bad thing at all.

Curious to know what your top difficult trait is? According to your results, it looks like it might be aggressiveness. If someone acts aggressively, it means that they might express their negative emotions in a big way, like through yelling or insults. So if someone is tired or they\u2019ve had a bad day, they might not control their emotions well\u2014instead of staying calm, they might act aggressively instead. But luckily, there are so many expert-approved ways to limit aggressive behaviors, and we\u2019ve included everything you need to know. Check out the guides included below to get started.","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Calm-Down-When-You-are-Angry"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Express-Anger-Without-Hurting-People"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How to Calm Down When You are Angry","id":2397957,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Calm-Down-When-You-are-Angry","image":"\/images\/thumb\/f\/ff\/Calm-Down-When-You-are-Angry-Step-21-Version-2.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Calm-Down-When-You-are-Angry-Step-21-Version-2.jpg","alt":"How to Calm Down When You are Angry"},{"title":"How to Express Anger Without Hurting People","id":553387,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Express-Anger-Without-Hurting-People","image":"\/images\/thumb\/d\/da\/Express-Anger-Without-Hurting-People-Step-24-Version-2.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Express-Anger-Without-Hurting-People-Step-24-Version-2.jpg","alt":"How to Express Anger Without Hurting People"}],"minimum":0},{"text":"You might be a difficult person.","meaning":"Looking at your answers, it seems like you might be slightly above average in terms of \u201cdifficult\u201d qualities. But in all honesty, that\u2019s actually not the end of the world. \u201cDifficult\u201d traits are totally subjective, and sometimes, our \u201cdifficult\u201d qualities are what lead us to do amazing things. As long as you\u2019re trying your best to be true to yourself and treat others how you want to be treated, being \u201cdifficult\u201d doesn\u2019t have to be a bad thing at all.

Curious to know what your top difficult trait is? According to your results, it looks like it might be suspicion. Suspicion refers to a person\u2019s tendency to expect the worst in others. Suspicious people might expect partners to cheat and expect friends to betray them. This impulse can come from a totally valid and understandable place\u2014like being raised by an inconsistent or disappointing parent. But still, when someone searches for bad treatment from others, it can strain relationships (and yes, make that person act \u201cdifficult\u201d at times!). But if you want to work on changing your world outlook, you totally can! Check out these guides below to get started.","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Optimistic"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Believe-in-Someone"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How to Be More Optimistic","id":15230,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Optimistic","image":"\/images\/thumb\/e\/e0\/Be-Optimistic-Step-27.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Be-Optimistic-Step-27.jpg","alt":"How to Be More Optimistic"},{"title":"How to Believe in Someone","id":12709623,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Believe-in-Someone","image":"\/images\/thumb\/c\/cb\/Believe-in-Someone-Step-10.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Believe-in-Someone-Step-10.jpg","alt":"How to Believe in Someone"}],"minimum":0},{"text":"You might be a difficult person.","meaning":"Looking at your answers, it seems like you might be slightly above average in terms of \u201cdifficult\u201d qualities. But in all honesty, that\u2019s actually not the end of the world. \u201cDifficult\u201d traits are totally subjective, and sometimes, our \u201cdifficult\u201d qualities are what lead us to do amazing things. As long as you\u2019re trying your best to be true to yourself and treat others how you want to be treated, being \u201cdifficult\u201d doesn\u2019t have to be a bad thing at all.

Curious to know what your top difficult trait is? According to your results, it looks like it might be manipulativeness. A manipulative person is someone who tries to control or change other people\u2019s behavior, especially through covert methods. Manipulation is actually pretty common, and it can come from good intentions\u2014for example, someone might try to subtly get a friend to end their toxic relationship. But ultimately, everyone deserves to make their own choices in life, which is why manipulativeness isn\u2019t a fair behavior (and ultimately, why it\u2019s seen as a \u201cdifficult\u201d quality). If you want to learn to be less manipulative, you totally can! Check out these guides below to get started.","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Stop-Being-Manipulative"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Stop-Being-Controlling"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How to Stop Being Manipulative","id":10773399,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Stop-Being-Manipulative","image":"\/images\/thumb\/a\/a8\/Stop-Being-Manipulative-Step-16.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Stop-Being-Manipulative-Step-16.jpg","alt":"How to Stop Being Manipulative"},{"title":"How to Stop Being Controlling","id":787374,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Stop-Being-Controlling","image":"\/images\/thumb\/4\/4e\/Stop-Being-Controlling-Step-17-Version-2.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Stop-Being-Controlling-Step-17-Version-2.jpg","alt":"How to Stop Being Controlling"}],"minimum":0}]" class="quiz_results_data"/>\"What<\/picture>","alt":"What Color Should I Dye My Hair Quiz"},{"title":"What Is My Aesthetic Quiz","id":13281612,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/What-Is-My-Aesthetic-Quiz","image":"\"What<\/picture>","alt":"What Is My Aesthetic Quiz"},{"title":"Jock Nerd Prep Goth Quiz","id":13985637,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Jock-Nerd-Prep-Goth-Test","image":"\"Jock<\/picture>","alt":"Jock Nerd Prep Goth Quiz"}],"number":1},{"text":"My internal self! I'm trying to discover more about my real personality.","result":"Amazing! These quizzes will help you learn more about yourself:","next_quizzes":[{"title":"What Is My Personal Color Quiz","id":13920368,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Personal-Color-Test","image":"\"Personal<\/picture>","alt":"What Is My Personal Color Quiz"},{"title":"Introvert or Extrovert Quiz","id":13737789,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Introvert-or-Extrovert-Quiz","image":"\"Introvert<\/picture>","alt":"Introvert or Extrovert Quiz"},{"title":"Moral Alignment Test","id":13475111,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Moral-alignment-test","image":"\"Moral<\/picture>","alt":"Moral Alignment Test"}],"number":2}]}" class="quiz_questionnaire_data"/>

Signs of a Difficult Person

Ultimately, whether or not a person is “difficult” is subjective. Some people prefer blunt honesty from friends, while others prefer a gentle communication style. Some people like spending time with organized, structured people, while others find their rigidity uncomfortable. Part of what makes life, relationships, and connection so fun is that we all have traits that might be considered difficult, and still: there are people out there who would appreciate us on the whole, just as we are—difficult traits and all.

Generally speaking though, when a person’s qualities are considered “difficult,” it’s when they’re thought to create discomfort for other people. If someone has a desire to control others or a feeling of apathy towards others, for example, then this could hurt the people around them. As a result, this person would likely be considered “difficult.”

But then, people can also make others uncomfortable for positive, altruistic reasons. Say that your workplace culture is toxic, for example. If you bring this to the attention of your boss, there’s a chance that you’ll be seen as “difficult” by your company’s leadership, because you challenged the status quo. But in reality, you were acting out of care and consideration for yourself and your colleagues. You were doing what was right, even if it appeared to make things difficult for some people.

In short, whether someone is “difficult” is not black and white. It’s not an exact science. In all likelihood, the best way to measure difficulty would be to consider the effects of a person's personality on others, but also, the intent behind their actions. Meaning, if a person causes pain and discomfort intentionally to others (or, at a minimum, they don’t intentionally avoid causing pain and discomfort), then that’s probably the clearest case of a “difficult” person. Specifically, an excessively difficult person might show above-average signs of:

  • Callousness. This refers to a person’s lack of empathy or consideration for others. An extremely callous person might not feel motivated by other people’s feelings.
  • Grandiosity and Self-Centeredness. This refers to a person’s general belief that they’re better than others, which can lead to selfishness and disrespect for the people around them, whom they view as “less than.”
  • Aggression. This is a person’s tendency to be openly hostile towards others. So, where a less aggressive person might cry or leave the room when they’re upset, an excessively aggressive person might yell or throw things.
  • Suspicion. This refers to a very low level of trust that one person might feel towards all of the people around them.
  • Manipulativeness. Manipulation is when someone tries to control another person’s behavior, either subtly or overtly. In both cases, they put their own desires and goals before other people’s free will and experiences.

The truth is though, none of us are perfect. We all have habits, patterns, and traits, maybe starting from when we were children, that could be considered “difficult.” With this in mind, the best thing we can all do is continue to try and improve—try to treat people better, fight our less kind instincts, and highly value our own moral growth.


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