I don't know what to do with my life
I’m 21, and I feel hopeless. I’m working full-time at a cafe, barely getting by. I hate it but can’t find anything else to do. I don’t know what I want to do, I don’t really feel like I’m good at anything, and nothing really excites me. I feel like all I can do is survive.
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Expert Answers
Consider the people in your life that you look up to and observe what they do. What are successful people accomplishing and what do they do in their day-to-day life? If you want what they have, start asking questions about what they do and how they do it.
Sometimes it can be helpful to look back to your childhood or teenage years and think about what you were interested in then. Try picking up some old hobbies, or try new things that you never thought you could do. Sometimes that excitement from your youth can come back and remind you of a passion you completely forgot about.
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Sometimes it can be helpful to look back to your childhood or teenage years and think about what you were interested in then. Try picking up some old hobbies, or try new things that you never thought you could do. Sometimes that excitement from your youth can come back and remind you of a passion you completely forgot about.
Good advice!
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I am too needy how do I think of others first when the way life works scares me too death, I am afraid of moving on, it's too late I live an a AFC home and still need it. I am not Gary Puckett I am his Son Jason Puckett.
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Try connecting with other people who are doing work that inspires you and that is similar to careers you've considered.
Most importantly, just try the thing! Talk about new career options with friends. Experiment. There is nothing as useful as trying something new and getting real experience as a way of learning. You may not want to quit your job just yet, but you don't have to in order to start exploring your options.
It’s also really important to start networking. Find people who do work that interests you and set up meetings with them.
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Most importantly, just try the thing! Talk about new career options with friends. Experiment. There is nothing as useful as trying something new and getting real experience as a way of learning. You may not want to quit your job just yet, but you don't have to in order to start exploring your options.
It’s also really important to start networking. Find people who do work that interests you and set up meetings with them.
The first thing you must do is define "life purpose" so you know what you're trying to find. You will realize there are different definitions out there. It’s really up to you to work towards creating your own working definition and then your own meaningful sense of purpose aligned with that definition.
My current definition would be something like this: There is a meta-purpose, a higher purpose to life: to discover our true selves and to be more and more of our true selves each day, mostly by stripping away all that is not who/what we really are, to reveal and experience our true essence, and this gives meaning and purpose to life itself. Then, coming from our true selves, we get to decide how we wish to live and how we wish to make our lives meaningful—which is often by how we wish to contribute to life on this planet—as in "the difference we want to make while we’re here."
The actionable steps or practices that help you establish what is meaningful to you is greatly facilitated by discovering, clarifying, and prioritizing your personal values.
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My current definition would be something like this: There is a meta-purpose, a higher purpose to life: to discover our true selves and to be more and more of our true selves each day, mostly by stripping away all that is not who/what we really are, to reveal and experience our true essence, and this gives meaning and purpose to life itself. Then, coming from our true selves, we get to decide how we wish to live and how we wish to make our lives meaningful—which is often by how we wish to contribute to life on this planet—as in "the difference we want to make while we’re here."
The actionable steps or practices that help you establish what is meaningful to you is greatly facilitated by discovering, clarifying, and prioritizing your personal values.
Reader Answers
The best advice I ever heard is that “sadness is a lack of options”. You're feeling stuck and sad because you don't have options. So you have to find options. And to do that, you have to get really curious. Find places to volunteer just to learn what it’s like to do different types of jobs. It doesn't really matter what they are right now. Just trying new things with low stakes will show you so much.
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I'm 34 and I am passing through this condition also
Please suggest me
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Please suggest me
that's a hard situation..but a lot of people work in a job they don't really like but that's life..sometimes you need to find positive things in your job...if it gets really bad change it
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You're still so young, and you have so much time to figure it out. You have to just keep trying things and give it time. Sometimes it’s actually more helpful to figure out what you don't want to do because that helps you narrow down to the kinds of things you do.
The thing that most people don't know about passion is it has to be cultivated. You're not going to start anything and immediately be good and motivated to do it. You have to push through the initial resistance and know that it gets better. You have SO much time ahead of you. The only really important thing right now is to keep trying new things and not give up.
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The thing that most people don't know about passion is it has to be cultivated. You're not going to start anything and immediately be good and motivated to do it. You have to push through the initial resistance and know that it gets better. You have SO much time ahead of you. The only really important thing right now is to keep trying new things and not give up.
I'm bored. let's just say that. I'm single, I'm an introvert and never have anything to do. When I am doing something it's for school or work. I hate watching all my friends out having fun but I too scared to go out with them. I feel like I will overdo it or under do it.
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MAN SAME. just trust yourself on being who you are. and if your really introverted and don't do anything, then find your hobbies. and if you want to, you could try to people please to get others to like you. or you could just practicing talking to people socially for 3 hours a day and go out more, and then you might become an extrovert. Instead of thinking of what your gonna say and overanalyze a situation, you should instead try be present in situation, and learn how to not be akward. or just learn about how extroverts sociallize. and then reapet some of the sociall habits extroverts have. yeah. just be you, and don't get discord from being a total introvert because your you. 1 of a kind.
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I totally can relate to this feeling. I always feel like I don't quite belong or I'm not special enough to hang out or be that close friends with co workers or acquaintances. I go to work, the store, gas station, and home. I occasionally do chill with maybe 3 or 4 of my friends and to be perfectly honest, I'm just realizing that I'm friends with these 3 or 4 peeps because they partake in things I do and are more of connections... I honestly am ok with being more reserved or introverted with myself and my time. But I also recognize how short our lives are and that we should just do the things we want to do. Do what brings you joy and happiness. Don't conform to what's "normal" Most importantly, I want to emphasize how imperative it is for us to feel the feelings we have. Allow yourself to go through the emotions you feel even when they don't feel very good. We cant avoid the "ick" of life. We've all been through trials in our lives that seemed like the end of the world at the time, that now only seem trivial or minimal. They might have even made you who you are today. I hope you find what brings you joy soon, it is within you ❤️
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Take 100 people. Which one is normal? How do you define such concept?
If there were only 2 people, would there be a normal one?
What if there are 8 billion, who is the default model for normality? Or is it in between some group, but no one specifically? Should all of us be like that person?
If in 100 people you chose the 51th to be the normal one but the 2nd is the only one who can do a specific important task for society due to being away from normality. Is the 2nd person healthy? Are they necessary?
I don't intend to offend, please give me the right to be wrong, also, but I question "normality". Sometimes I think it is a term people use for away-from-purpose objectives. It's like fashion clothes and other stuff people come up with to sell ideas and manipulate others. The purpose of the cloth is to protect, not to create comparison. Unless we have the perfect enlightenment to know each one's mission here, we're prone to lack of precision with those terms like "normality". The athlete's normal is different from the priest, yet each one has their importance in society.
We should take spirituality more seriously and society less, sometimes. Instead of looking for "normal", maybe we should look for "virtuous", or "balanced", "happy", "love-based", "self-synchronized", "sustainable", etc.
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If there were only 2 people, would there be a normal one?
What if there are 8 billion, who is the default model for normality? Or is it in between some group, but no one specifically? Should all of us be like that person?
If in 100 people you chose the 51th to be the normal one but the 2nd is the only one who can do a specific important task for society due to being away from normality. Is the 2nd person healthy? Are they necessary?
I don't intend to offend, please give me the right to be wrong, also, but I question "normality". Sometimes I think it is a term people use for away-from-purpose objectives. It's like fashion clothes and other stuff people come up with to sell ideas and manipulate others. The purpose of the cloth is to protect, not to create comparison. Unless we have the perfect enlightenment to know each one's mission here, we're prone to lack of precision with those terms like "normality". The athlete's normal is different from the priest, yet each one has their importance in society.
We should take spirituality more seriously and society less, sometimes. Instead of looking for "normal", maybe we should look for "virtuous", or "balanced", "happy", "love-based", "self-synchronized", "sustainable", etc.
You made me think 2 stuff...
1.
One day we'll be older. What would you prefer if you look back to past? To think "I didn't risk doing what I wanted due to fear of what other people might think" or "I took my risks, maybe got a bit hurt, but got experience and now I can do better / explore new stuff due to experience"?
Staying in our comfort zone may hurt too. Personal experience. I hurt myself gaming too much. Risk is unavoidable. Pick yours wisely and "look for balance in all areas of your life", like say angel numbers.
We must have faith in God and also in ourselves. There is always a good part within that won't force both faiths to be mutually exclusive. Focus the Light!
2.
Don't compare yourself with others. People don't have all the same mission here, so we're unable to judge each other, we've too little wisdom for that. So the same is valid for others judging us, right? Still, we want to be accepted, to be part of something. But what do you do when you go shopping for a shirt? You look at it, check it, prove it... etc. You might not know if it fits you unless you try it. With time, you learn what works well for you, and how to listen to your instincts. Meditation and prayer also help a lot with that.
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1.
One day we'll be older. What would you prefer if you look back to past? To think "I didn't risk doing what I wanted due to fear of what other people might think" or "I took my risks, maybe got a bit hurt, but got experience and now I can do better / explore new stuff due to experience"?
Staying in our comfort zone may hurt too. Personal experience. I hurt myself gaming too much. Risk is unavoidable. Pick yours wisely and "look for balance in all areas of your life", like say angel numbers.
We must have faith in God and also in ourselves. There is always a good part within that won't force both faiths to be mutually exclusive. Focus the Light!
2.
Don't compare yourself with others. People don't have all the same mission here, so we're unable to judge each other, we've too little wisdom for that. So the same is valid for others judging us, right? Still, we want to be accepted, to be part of something. But what do you do when you go shopping for a shirt? You look at it, check it, prove it... etc. You might not know if it fits you unless you try it. With time, you learn what works well for you, and how to listen to your instincts. Meditation and prayer also help a lot with that.
I'm 21 as well, and I also thought same as you are thinking right now, but I had plan for my future that I wanted a corporate job and it required graduation. when I completed my graduation I had started preparation to get the job I got rejected many times but did not gave on it, after many attempts finally I got selected now I am here where I want to be, and it made inspired me about to facing challenges in life so that set your individual goal and be curious to achieve it.
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No one is hopeless! You must have some quality that you haven't discovered yet. Don't give up now!!! You got this!!!!!!!😺😺😺
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I constantly feel like no one cares about me what do I do
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I'm 21 and I ran my own business, I'm barely hanging in there. Because despite the fact that I have a boyfriend who is considerate, happiness is far from me. I don't understand why but I feel disconnected from everything and everyone.
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Please don't lose hope why don't you try finding someone? Or take yourself on a date
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If you didn't finish High School..enrol in local further education college asap.Do the basics eg GCSE, might have to attend 3 nights a week for first 2 years. No one really wants to employ someone without this most essential qualification. You will then be able to choose a career that interests you. The next five years will be VITAL to a fabulous career... But.. only if you don't give up and drop out!! Just keep doing all the training you need to do. Best of luck. I'm sure you have the guts and courage to make it!! Best of luck
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I advise you to discover new things,to get out of your comfort zone,so you can find something your'e passionate about,for me it's the arts (music,paintings,theater,sketching,etc) Don't quit your job just yet though,but practice,get in touch with people with similar passions,ask them how they reached success,if you don't know any there are probably people on YouTube with 30 minute Ted talks or smthn,but keep going you can do this
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sometimes we all feel the same way but what is important is to remember that ,you can be a hard worker ,a fighter ,whatever you desire,life is like a run way and you are the designer
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I'm sure that you'll be good at something 😃. Everyone is. I mean, i thought i was hopeless until I discovered my talent 😺😺😺😺
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what do you like to do, what do you enjoy doing. When you have a job, career, you actually spend more time at work and traveling to work than at home, so you must enjoy it.
Not sure what you want to do, then start pushing boundaries, try something. If you do what you have always done, well how is that working for you.
If you think you might be in a bit of a rut? You say you work at a cafe, very transferable, get training in bar work, hospitality and be fit you can go any where, Farm work, fruit picking, Caribbean, Greek islands, France, Australia, they always need new people. Move around where you are, an Itinerant worker.
I know a guy that was a boiler maker and with encouragement went to study engineering and then realized he like managing and now has a Masters degree. You are young, my boy left school worked at KFC, then went in to a computer game store, now 30+ starting his Masters in teaching.
You are so young, try things, volunteer at places, get experience, keep growing. It is a big world, go have a look.
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Not sure what you want to do, then start pushing boundaries, try something. If you do what you have always done, well how is that working for you.
If you think you might be in a bit of a rut? You say you work at a cafe, very transferable, get training in bar work, hospitality and be fit you can go any where, Farm work, fruit picking, Caribbean, Greek islands, France, Australia, they always need new people. Move around where you are, an Itinerant worker.
I know a guy that was a boiler maker and with encouragement went to study engineering and then realized he like managing and now has a Masters degree. You are young, my boy left school worked at KFC, then went in to a computer game store, now 30+ starting his Masters in teaching.
You are so young, try things, volunteer at places, get experience, keep growing. It is a big world, go have a look.
Everything is possible if you let it.I'm just a teenager but i feel the same way!!
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Maybe pay attention to what makes you happy, if you just don't know what that is, try something new! You have so much more of your life to live, and it might not be easy, but you can find what you're meant for in life. There's always hope even if you can't find it in the moment~ and all these people bothered to respond to you, which proves there are people that care about you and know and hope and want to help you find what you're meant to do!
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I remember feeling that! Try an adventure, see new things, meet new people? I became a truck driver at 21 traveled 48 states Canada and lived in Europe for 2 years. Not to mention the pay was better than average I almost felt on vacation seeing the country and getting paid for it while meeting new people I would take one day off a week wherever I was and find something fun to do. I know the social norm looks down upon truck drivers but in reality we are the glue that holds it all together. And you would be amazed how much you can figure out in life with so much alone time behind the wheel to think ponder analyze.. probably have to be a sigma male to enjoy it but I found driving relaxing and stress detoxing. It's been a decent lifestyle for me and was plenty enough to figure out what I wanted in life, now I feel successful, accomplished, enjoying life, have virtually no stress, already very independent self-sufficient and sustainable. I built a 24-ft refrigerated straight truck into a motorhome that's twice as insulated as traditional motorhomes (very crucial, as temperature control is about 70% of energy cost) fully solar-powered with mini split AC and heat, full kitchen, full bathroom, TV, internet, PS4, dual recliners, loft bed, plenty of storage, a zero electric dual sport motorcycle I can charge off the solar, 500 gallons of fresh water now I live off the grid full-time nomadically and I absolutely love it! True freedom. No mortgage, no rent, no electric bill, no trash bill, no sewer bill. I sacrificed a whole lot of time behind the wheel of a truck, but very well worth it as I was able to figure out what I wanted in life and achieve it rather quick and easy compared to most. I'll be retired at 45 years old, freeing up my time to pursue my own ambitions (inventions) instead of exchanging all of my time for currency just to put a roof over my head and food in my mouth.. when you're living extremely cheap, comfortable, mobile, off-grid, self-sufficient you don't need much income in retirement. My total cost of living will be $500 to $1,000 per month depending how much traveling I do. Just one simple man's perspective but don't be afraid to think outside the box and live the way you want! Good luck to you, God bless 🙏
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I was there, studying and working on a low duration work.
Sometimes you need to be bold and go beyond surviving! Take calculated risks, go out of your comfort zone a bit here and there and with time you get back living instead of surviving. Do a sincere prayer for help, remember the strength from God comes from within you and explore new ways to invest energy, creativity and also to recover your batteries. Meditation might be necessary, but every person has their ways into meditation, and into "understanding" / talking to God, afaik. Not all meditation must be sit down, you just need to get in tune with yourself sometimes.
And don't think your work is for nothing. Money might be important later, we don't know when we will need it. I myself am taking risks which are costing me money, so don't be in a rush for answers, trust the process.
If stuff is too uncomfortable, observe the discomfort. Where is it? What type of discomfort is it? What is it asking you to do? Try to see it as an ally, a signal of something.
For an example, if you're angry with people, you don't need to punch them, but maybe think "why am I angry with people?"
It's not about suppressing everything, but getting to the root of the problem and seeing as opportunity to grow, then exploring it.
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Sometimes you need to be bold and go beyond surviving! Take calculated risks, go out of your comfort zone a bit here and there and with time you get back living instead of surviving. Do a sincere prayer for help, remember the strength from God comes from within you and explore new ways to invest energy, creativity and also to recover your batteries. Meditation might be necessary, but every person has their ways into meditation, and into "understanding" / talking to God, afaik. Not all meditation must be sit down, you just need to get in tune with yourself sometimes.
And don't think your work is for nothing. Money might be important later, we don't know when we will need it. I myself am taking risks which are costing me money, so don't be in a rush for answers, trust the process.
If stuff is too uncomfortable, observe the discomfort. Where is it? What type of discomfort is it? What is it asking you to do? Try to see it as an ally, a signal of something.
For an example, if you're angry with people, you don't need to punch them, but maybe think "why am I angry with people?"
It's not about suppressing everything, but getting to the root of the problem and seeing as opportunity to grow, then exploring it.
I would go see a therapist and see what they think you should do. its also good to have someone to talk to .
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wanna join me?
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...don't worry things will get better one day...try finding something nice in your job or try your chances of changing it. or think of what you like to do.if the job bothers you a lot you need to change it into something else.
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dont worry things will get better and maybe u can get a partner
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you should try getting an office job or save up and retire early and do exciting stuff!!
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I disagree with u
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whats your email id love to help
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dont ask me that
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I feel hopeless
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Find something that not just interests you, but something that you want to know more about. Somebody may find psychology interesting for example and really wants to know more about human behavior. For the moment remove the financial earning potential and replace it with the knowledge and skill potential of what you're interested in.
Most people want money, which is not bad at all. But, most people don't assign purpose to money. So, if you had money what would you do with it? Again, most people don't know. You can't eat or drink money. You can liquidate it into food by exchanging it at the grocery store or restaurant, or draw it from the ATM and use it as fuel for a fire. So, for now remove the financial earning potential and replace it with the skill and knowledge potential. Your skills and knowledge will earn you money as a consequence. But, more importantly your interest, interest to want to know more, and skill and knowledge focus will give you direction.
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Most people want money, which is not bad at all. But, most people don't assign purpose to money. So, if you had money what would you do with it? Again, most people don't know. You can't eat or drink money. You can liquidate it into food by exchanging it at the grocery store or restaurant, or draw it from the ATM and use it as fuel for a fire. So, for now remove the financial earning potential and replace it with the skill and knowledge potential. Your skills and knowledge will earn you money as a consequence. But, more importantly your interest, interest to want to know more, and skill and knowledge focus will give you direction.
Yeah I've been feeling like this a long time and I am 28 now. The best thing I've figured out is just to try to have patience with oneself, keep an open & curious mind about other paths whenever possible, and to try to remember that you don't HAVE to be stuck where you're at if you don't want to be, ie nobody's holding you at gunpoint to do what you're doing. I know though the feeling is really miserable and it's so easy to get sucked into it and get stuck.
Try to use any off-time you have to look at any material that might help - perhaps it's reading articles or watching videos online about fun or interesting things one way or another, or perhaps it's hearing from some friends about what they like doing. Anything that could provide some kind of inspiration.
I've found keeping this in mind helps stave off the negativity somewhat, and to try to have some curiosity about what might be a good way forward. Any little bit counts. I really wish you the best with this and I hope this comment can help somewhat!
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Try to use any off-time you have to look at any material that might help - perhaps it's reading articles or watching videos online about fun or interesting things one way or another, or perhaps it's hearing from some friends about what they like doing. Anything that could provide some kind of inspiration.
I've found keeping this in mind helps stave off the negativity somewhat, and to try to have some curiosity about what might be a good way forward. Any little bit counts. I really wish you the best with this and I hope this comment can help somewhat!
I got arts
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I got “I set myself on fire to keep others warm”. I do like helping people and will put in the time when I can, but if I have something going on I won’t drop everything if l have something planned. This sounds like my sister A LOT and I am not like her. Thanks for the quiz anyway :)
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Get professional help.
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You should start doing more of the things that you WANT to do and less of what you feel like you have/need to do. Next time you pull yourself over mentally and attempt to check yourself, thinking of something that you should be doing, don't. Do exactly the opposite.
Always remember, no matter how things have been going, no matter what the results have been, good or bad, it is never too late to STOP doing the right thing.
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Always remember, no matter how things have been going, no matter what the results have been, good or bad, it is never too late to STOP doing the right thing.
please dont feel like you are not good at anything. maybe you are having some deep lying issue. resolving it helps alot. and after that its good to explore the life like going out more often,meeting new people. and soon you will find what excites you.
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But you have to sit your self down and tell your self what you will like to become
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They say it takes 10,000 hours of practice to master something, so if you aren't good at something and you think it's your purpose in life to pursue it, don't let it stop you! Start practicing and you'll soon be good enough to make that your life's work.
Courage is not the absence of fear; it's taking action despite fear. If you know what you want and you're not taking the first step, realize that's on you. You must be the one to take the jump into the deep end, so don't hesitate!
Picture how you'd spend your time if you had infinite money and no responsibilities. That's probably a good hint as to what your purpose is in life!
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It's okay to feel like life is miserable, but if the feeling becomes so overwhelming that it becomes difficult to function or complete daily tasks, please seek help. Even if life sucks, it's still worth living.
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Your goals will almost certainly change over time. You will want to eventually pursue a new career or follow a new path. Who knows, maybe you'll wake up one day and want to move to Japan! The point is, don't treat your life plan like it's this fixed thing that can't be adjusted later on.
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