What to Do When You Feel Like You Hate Your Life

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Identify why you’re struggling and how to feel better
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Have you been thinking “I hate my life” a lot recently? If so, you’re not alone. It’s completely normal to go through a rough patch emotionally, especially if you’re dealing with difficult circumstances at home, work, or school. We’ll go over the steps you can take to cope when you're feeling this way, and we'll cover some of the common reasons behind this feeling. We also interviewed licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Chloe Carmichael and bestselling author, podcast host, and speaker Kamal Ravikant for expert insight on how to take care of yourself during this tough period. Keep reading for everything you need to know!

  • Reflect on the things that may be causing your unhappiness, and take action to change them.
  • Practice self-compassion and challenge your inner critic.
  • Reframe your negative thoughts and cultivate a more positive mindset.
  • Connect with the people you love.
  • Spend more time in nature.
  • Take a social media break.
  • Talk to a licensed therapist or counselor.
Section 1 of 3:

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    You’re not always in control of what happens to you, but you can control how you respond to situations that are making you worried or unhappy. “Sometimes the best way to cope with worry is to take action,” explains Dr. Carmichael. “For example, if I’m worried about my financial future, I should go see a financial planner, or take a step to assuage and address the worry,” she says.
    • If you’re experiencing stress or burnout due to work or school, try adding some relaxation and self-care to your routine. You could meditate , do yoga, pick up a relaxing hobby like crocheting or reading—whatever you prefer!
    • If you’re struggling with a toxic platonic, romantic, or familial relationship, work on setting boundaries with this person and prioritizing your own needs.
    • If you’re dealing with a mental or physical health problem, schedule an appointment with your doctor to come up with a plan to better address your symptoms.
    • Identifying the cause of your negative feelings and then taking charge of that situation can be very healing and empowering! It reminds you that you’re not helpless and that things can change for the better. [1]
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    When you’re going through a difficult time emotionally, you may feel tempted to isolate yourself. “It turns into a really vicious circle because you get lonely, but you’re also pushing people away or not engaging with them,” explains Dr. Carmichael. If this sounds like you, try to make a conscious effort to connect and spend quality time with the people you love. [2]
    • This could be as simple as grabbing lunch or coffee with a good friend, or setting up a weekly FaceTime call to catch up with your siblings or your mom.
    • You’ll likely find that connecting with others in this way boosts your mood and makes you feel happier!
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    Spending too much time on social media can drive you to compare yourself to others too much, which can be detrimental to your mental health. [3] If your social media has been bringing you more stress than joy lately, consider taking a break to focus on yourself.
    • Remember, the images you see on social media are curated, idealized glimpses into people’s lives. The reality of the situation may be entirely different!
    • This is why too much social media use can be harmful—you end up holding yourself to an unattainable standard, which does a number on your wellbeing. [4]
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    Maybe you’re not getting enough sleep or drinking enough water. Or, maybe you aren’t getting enough daily exercise. Any of these things can make you feel fatigued and sluggish, and when you’re not feeling your best physically, it can negatively affect your mood and your outlook on life. If this sounds like you, try to make a few changes to your routine. You may be surprised by how much of a boost you experience! [5] Here are some general tips to follow:
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    Research shows that spending time outside has positive effects on your mental and physical well-being. It can lower your blood pressure, promote heart health, improve sleep quality, and reduce cortisol levels. [11] It can also help you manage anxiety, decrease your chances of developing psychiatric disorders, and boost your overall mood. [12]
    • Read a book outside in your backyard or at a local park
    • Go on a picnic with some friends or family members
    • Take a walk through your neighborhood
    • Go swimming in a lake or the ocean
    • Take a yoga class outdoors
    • Go on a scenic hike
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    If you’re experiencing negative thoughts about yourself, others, or the world in general, Dr. Carmichael recommends volunteering . “When we start helping other people, we start noticing that other people might even have bigger problems than we do that they seem to be managing,” she explains. In other words, volunteering can provide some much-needed perspective.
    • Being useful to others also helps you combat any feelings of worthlessness you may be experiencing, says Dr. Carmichael.
    • Think about the causes you care about, and pick a volunteer opportunity that resonates with you.
      • For example, if you care deeply about the environment, you could volunteer for a beach clean-up.
      • Or, if you’re passionate about helping people who are experiencing food insecurity, you could volunteer at a food drive.
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    Reframing involves shifting your perspective to focus on the positive in a situation, rather than the negative. This practice can help you deal with difficult emotions, manage stressful periods in your life, and cultivate a more positive mindset . [13]
    • Say, for example, that you’ve just been given a new responsibility at work, and you're stressing out and doubting your abilities.
      • To reframe the situation, remind yourself that this is an opportunity to learn and grow, and that it may even open new doors professionally for you.
    • Or maybe you’re going through a breakup, and you find yourself thinking, “This is a disaster! I’ll never find love again.”
      • Instead, tell yourself, “I’m in pain right now, but it won’t last forever. And, now that I know my ex isn’t ‘the one,’ I’m one step closer to finding out who is.” [14]
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    Self-compassion involves recognizing when you’re struggling and giving yourself grace in those moments. [15] It means showing yourself with the same kindness you would show someone you love, instead of criticizing or shaming yourself. This helps you improve your mental health and build emotional resilience, which makes it a super beneficial practice when you’re feeling unhappy with your life. [16]
    • Ravikant cautions against simply telling your inner critic to be silent.
    • Unfortunately, our negative thoughts are often the result of patterns we’ve built over the years, and most people can’t just turn them off at will.
    • Instead, try reciting positive affirmations to drown out the negative voice in your head. “How do you fight darkness? You find the nearest light switch, and you turn on the light,” Ravikant explains.
      • For example, you could say “I’m worthy and deserving of love,” or “I’m doing the best I can, and that’s enough.”
    • Don’t worry if you find this tough to do at first. “Self-love is a practice, just like going to the gym is a practice, just like eating healthy is a practice,” says Ravikant. Over time, it will get easier!
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    If you think self-esteem issues are contributing to your negative feelings about life, try setting some personal goals and going after them. “The best way to build up self-confidence is to make commitments to yourself and keep them,” explains Ravikant. When you do this, “You start to trust yourself, and you start to become a person who can count on themselves,” which is “fundamental for self-confidence.”
    • For example, you could decide that you’re going to make healthier choices with food.
    • “You make a commitment that you’re going to eat a certain way, and then you stick to it. You may fail here and there, but you stick to it overall. You develop a sense of confidence in your ability to do this,” says Ravikant.
    • You could challenge yourself to read one book per month, get at least 8 hours of sleep each night, or learn a new skill at work—it’s completely up to you!
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    If you’re having a hard time addressing your negative feelings on your own, or if you’re living with a mental health condition that has been flaring up lately, seek out treatment with a mental health professional. They can help you come up with a plan to address your symptoms so that you can start feeling more positive about life again. Remember, you don’t have to go it alone! [17]
    • Ask a trusted friend or family member for a referral if they work with a therapist, or check out online directories to choose the right therapist for you. [18]
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Section 2 of 3:

Reasons You Might Hate Your Life

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    Maybe you have a lot on your plate at your job, or you’re feeling like your current career path is unfulfilling. Or, maybe you’re taking a difficult course load at school, and you’re worried about your grades. These types of stressors can easily bring down your mood and lead to feelings of unhappiness with your life. [19]
    • You may even be experiencing burnout, which is a state of physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion brought on by a prolonged period of stress. [20]
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    Humans are wired for social connection. In fact, research shows that our need to connect with others is as essential as the need for food and shelter, and our brains respond to social pain as intensely as they do to physical pain. [21] As a result, problems with your relationships can have a profound impact on your well-being. [22]
    • Say, for example, that you’re dealing with a toxic friendship or romantic relationship , or you’ve been arguing a lot with your parents or siblings.
    • Or maybe you’re struggling to make friends or find a romantic partner, leading to feelings of loneliness or isolation. All of these things could be contributing factors.
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    Financial stress can definitely have a negative effect on your mood and mental health. If you lost your job recently or you’re struggling to pay your rent or bills, these circumstances could be to blame for your negative feelings about life lately. [23]
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    It’s completely normal to get down on yourself every now and then, but if your inner critic has been super loud lately, this can do a number on your well-being and mood. A constant slew of negative thoughts about yourself can easily cause you to start thinking more negatively about life in general. [24]
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    Physical pain has a negative effect on your mood and happiness levels. [25] In fact, research shows that people living with chronic pain are at heightened risk for mental health problems like depression and anxiety. [26] So, if you’ve been struggling with an illness, injury, or chronic health problem, this may be at the root of your unhappy feelings.
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    Mental health conditions like depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and substance abuse issues can cause negative feelings about life. If you’re living with one of these conditions and your symptoms have been flaring up lately, this could be the reason you’ve been feeling like you hate your life. [27]
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Section 3 of 3:

Is thinking “I hate my life” a sign of depression?

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    It’s normal to experience difficult periods from time to time, and this isn’t usually a cause for concern. [28] However, if you’re having this thought on a regular basis and experiencing other mental health symptoms at the same time, you may be struggling with depression. In this case, it’s important to seek out treatment with a healthcare professional right away. Here are symptoms of depression to look out for: [29]
    • Persistent feelings of sadness, anxiety, hopelessness, pessimism, or emptiness
    • Loss of interest in things that used to bring you joy, like participating in hobbies or spending time with family and friends
    • Getting irritated or frustrated more easily
    • Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
    • Fatigue or lack of energy
    • Sleep issues (insomnia, waking up too early, oversleeping)
    • Changes in appetite or unintentional weight changes
    • Thoughts of self harm or suicide [30]
      • If you’re experiencing thoughts of suicide and you’re in the U.S. or Canada, call or text the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988, or contact emergency services at 911. [31]

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      References

      1. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/health/i-hate-my-life-why-its-ok-to-feel-this-way-and-what-to-do#focus-on-what-you-can-control
      2. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/cultivating-happiness.htm
      3. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/social-media-and-mental-health.htm
      4. ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/signs-you-need-to-take-a-break-from-social-media
      5. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/health/i-hate-my-life-why-its-ok-to-feel-this-way-and-what-to-do
      6. ↑ https://www.cdc.gov/sleep/about_sleep/how_much_sleep.html
      7. ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/nutrition-and-healthy-eating/in-depth/water/art-20044256
      8. ↑ https://www.cdc.gov/physicalactivity/basics/adults/index.htm
      9. ↑ https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/eat-well/how-to-eat-a-balanced-diet/eating-a-balanced-diet/
      1. ↑ https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/tips-and-support/how-to-be-happier/
      2. ↑ https://health.ucdavis.edu/blog/cultivating-health/3-ways-getting-outside-into-nature-helps-improve-your-health/2023/05
      3. ↑ https://www.apa.org/monitor/2020/04/nurtured-nature
      4. ↑ https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/the-power-of-positive-thinking
      5. ↑ https://sdlab.fas.harvard.edu/cognitive-reappraisal/positive-reframing-and-examining-evidence
      6. ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat/the-power-of-self-compassion
      7. ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat/the-power-of-self-compassion
      8. ↑ https://www.choosingtherapy.com/why-am-i-so-unhappy/
      9. ↑ https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/patients-and-families/finding-good-therapist
      10. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/health/i-hate-my-life-why-its-ok-to-feel-this-way-and-what-to-do
      11. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/stress/burnout-prevention-and-recovery.htm
      12. ↑ https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2013-09689-000
      13. ↑ https://www.choosingtherapy.com/why-am-i-so-unhappy/
      14. ↑ https://www.choosingtherapy.com/why-am-i-so-unhappy/
      15. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/health/i-hate-my-life-why-its-ok-to-feel-this-way-and-what-to-do
      16. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/illness-disability/chronic-pain-and-mental-health.htm
      17. ↑ https://www.psychiatry.org/news-room/apa-blogs/chronic-pain-and-mental-health-interconnected
      18. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/health/i-hate-my-life-why-its-ok-to-feel-this-way-and-what-to-do
      19. ↑ https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/its-okay-to-feel-sad
      20. ↑ https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/9290-depression
      21. ↑ https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/depression
      22. ↑ https://www.cdc.gov/suicide/resources/index.html

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