This article was co-authored by Chloe Carmichael, PhD
and by wikiHow staff writer, Annabelle Reyes
. Chloe Carmichael, PhD is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist who runs a private practice in New York City. With over 12 years of psychological consulting experience, Dr. Chloe specializes in relationship issues, stress management, self-esteem, and career coaching. She has also instructed undergraduate courses at Long Island University and has served as adjunct faculty at the City University of New York. Dr. Chloe completed her PhD in Clinical Psychology at Long Island University in Brooklyn, New York, and her clinical training at Lenox Hill Hospital and Kings County Hospital. She is accredited by the American Psychological Association and is the author of “Nervous Energy: Harness the Power of Your Anxiety” and “Dr. Chloe's 10 Commandments of Dating.”
There are 26 references
cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources.
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Have you been thinking “I hate my life” a lot recently? If so, you’re not alone. It’s completely normal to go through a rough patch emotionally, especially if you’re dealing with difficult circumstances at home, work, or school. We’ll go over the steps you can take to cope when you're feeling this way, and we'll cover some of the common reasons behind this feeling. We also interviewed licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Chloe Carmichael and bestselling author, podcast host, and speaker Kamal Ravikant for expert insight on how to take care of yourself during this tough period. Keep reading for everything you need to know!
How to Cope When You Feel Like You Hate Your Life
- Reflect on the things that may be causing your unhappiness, and take action to change them.
- Practice self-compassion and challenge your inner critic.
- Reframe your negative thoughts and cultivate a more positive mindset.
- Connect with the people you love.
- Spend more time in nature.
- Take a social media break.
- Talk to a licensed therapist or counselor.
Steps
What to Do if You Feel Like You Hate Your Life
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1Reflect on the things you’re unhappy about, and make some changes. You’re not always in control of what happens to you, but you can control how you respond to situations that are making you worried or unhappy. “Sometimes the best way to cope with worry is to take action,” explains Dr. Carmichael. “For example, if I’m worried about my financial future, I should go see a financial planner, or take a step to assuage and address the worry,” she says.
- If you’re experiencing stress or burnout due to work or school, try adding some relaxation and self-care to your routine. You could meditate , do yoga, pick up a relaxing hobby like crocheting or reading—whatever you prefer!
- If you’re struggling with a toxic platonic, romantic, or familial relationship, work on setting boundaries with this person and prioritizing your own needs.
- If you’re dealing with a mental or physical health problem, schedule an appointment with your doctor to come up with a plan to better address your symptoms.
- Identifying the cause of your negative feelings and then taking charge of that situation can be very healing and empowering! It reminds you that you’re not helpless and that things can change for the better. [1] X Research source
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2Prioritize genuine social connection. When you’re going through a difficult time emotionally, you may feel tempted to isolate yourself. “It turns into a really vicious circle because you get lonely, but you’re also pushing people away or not engaging with them,” explains Dr. Carmichael. If this sounds like you, try to make a conscious effort to connect and spend quality time with the people you love. [2] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
- This could be as simple as grabbing lunch or coffee with a good friend, or setting up a weekly FaceTime call to catch up with your siblings or your mom.
- You’ll likely find that connecting with others in this way boosts your mood and makes you feel happier!
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3Take a social media break. Spending too much time on social media can drive you to compare yourself to others too much, which can be detrimental to your mental health. [3] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source If your social media has been bringing you more stress than joy lately, consider taking a break to focus on yourself.
- Remember, the images you see on social media are curated, idealized glimpses into people’s lives. The reality of the situation may be entirely different!
- This is why too much social media use can be harmful—you end up holding yourself to an unattainable standard, which does a number on your wellbeing. [4] X Trustworthy Source Cleveland Clinic Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals Go to source
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4Take care of your body. Maybe you’re not getting enough sleep or drinking enough water. Or, maybe you aren’t getting enough daily exercise. Any of these things can make you feel fatigued and sluggish, and when you’re not feeling your best physically, it can negatively affect your mood and your outlook on life. If this sounds like you, try to make a few changes to your routine. You may be surprised by how much of a boost you experience! [5] X Research source Here are some general tips to follow:
- Try to get at least 7-9 hours of quality sleep per night. [6] X Trustworthy Source Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Main public health institute for the US, run by the Dept. of Health and Human Services Go to source
- Do your best to stay hydrated . This means drinking at least 2.7 liters (for women) or 3.7 liters (for men) of water per day. [7] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals Go to source
- Try to get 30 minutes of exercise per day, or 150 minutes of exercise per week. [8] X Trustworthy Source Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Main public health institute for the US, run by the Dept. of Health and Human Services Go to source
- Nourish your body with a balanced diet . This means eating lots of fresh fruits and veggies, and making sure that you’re getting enough proteins, carbs, and healthy fats. [9] X Trustworthy Source National Health Service (UK) Public healthcare system of the UK Go to source
- Consider cutting back on alcohol , or taking a break from alcohol altogether. [10] X Trustworthy Source National Health Service (UK) Public healthcare system of the UK Go to source
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5Spend some time in nature. Research shows that spending time outside has positive effects on your mental and physical well-being. It can lower your blood pressure, promote heart health, improve sleep quality, and reduce cortisol levels. [11] X Research source It can also help you manage anxiety, decrease your chances of developing psychiatric disorders, and boost your overall mood. [12] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source
- Read a book outside in your backyard or at a local park
- Go on a picnic with some friends or family members
- Take a walk through your neighborhood
- Go swimming in a lake or the ocean
- Take a yoga class outdoors
- Go on a scenic hike
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6Volunteer for a cause you care about. If you’re experiencing negative thoughts about yourself, others, or the world in general, Dr. Carmichael recommends volunteering . “When we start helping other people, we start noticing that other people might even have bigger problems than we do that they seem to be managing,” she explains. In other words, volunteering can provide some much-needed perspective.
- Being useful to others also helps you combat any feelings of worthlessness you may be experiencing, says Dr. Carmichael.
- Think about the causes you care about, and pick a volunteer opportunity that resonates with you.
- For example, if you care deeply about the environment, you could volunteer for a beach clean-up.
- Or, if you’re passionate about helping people who are experiencing food insecurity, you could volunteer at a food drive.
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7Reframe your negative thoughts. Reframing involves shifting your perspective to focus on the positive in a situation, rather than the negative. This practice can help you deal with difficult emotions, manage stressful periods in your life, and cultivate a more positive mindset . [13] X Trustworthy Source Johns Hopkins Medicine Official resource database of the world-leading Johns Hopkins Hospital Go to source
- Say, for example, that you’ve just been given a new responsibility at work, and you're stressing out and doubting your abilities.
- To reframe the situation, remind yourself that this is an opportunity to learn and grow, and that it may even open new doors professionally for you.
- Or maybe you’re going through a breakup, and you find yourself thinking, “This is a disaster! I’ll never find love again.”
- Instead, tell yourself, “I’m in pain right now, but it won’t last forever. And, now that I know my ex isn’t ‘the one,’ I’m one step closer to finding out who is.” [14] X Research source
- Say, for example, that you’ve just been given a new responsibility at work, and you're stressing out and doubting your abilities.
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8Practice self-compassion and challenge your inner critic. Self-compassion involves recognizing when you’re struggling and giving yourself grace in those moments. [15] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Medical School Harvard Medical School's Educational Site for the Public Go to source It means showing yourself with the same kindness you would show someone you love, instead of criticizing or shaming yourself. This helps you improve your mental health and build emotional resilience, which makes it a super beneficial practice when you’re feeling unhappy with your life. [16] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Medical School Harvard Medical School's Educational Site for the Public Go to source
- Ravikant cautions against simply telling your inner critic to be silent.
- Unfortunately, our negative thoughts are often the result of patterns we’ve built over the years, and most people can’t just turn them off at will.
- Instead, try reciting positive affirmations
to drown out the negative voice in your head. “How do you fight darkness? You find the nearest light switch, and you turn on the light,” Ravikant explains.
- For example, you could say “I’m worthy and deserving of love,” or “I’m doing the best I can, and that’s enough.”
- Don’t worry if you find this tough to do at first. “Self-love is a practice, just like going to the gym is a practice, just like eating healthy is a practice,” says Ravikant. Over time, it will get easier!
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9Work on your self-confidence. If you think self-esteem issues are contributing to your negative feelings about life, try setting some personal goals and going after them. “The best way to build up self-confidence is to make commitments to yourself and keep them,” explains Ravikant. When you do this, “You start to trust yourself, and you start to become a person who can count on themselves,” which is “fundamental for self-confidence.”
- For example, you could decide that you’re going to make healthier choices with food.
- “You make a commitment that you’re going to eat a certain way, and then you stick to it. You may fail here and there, but you stick to it overall. You develop a sense of confidence in your ability to do this,” says Ravikant.
- You could challenge yourself to read one book per month, get at least 8 hours of sleep each night, or learn a new skill at work—it’s completely up to you!
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10Talk to a licensed therapist or counselor. If you’re having a hard time addressing your negative feelings on your own, or if you’re living with a mental health condition that has been flaring up lately, seek out treatment with a mental health professional. They can help you come up with a plan to address your symptoms so that you can start feeling more positive about life again. Remember, you don’t have to go it alone! [17] X Research source
- Ask a trusted friend or family member for a referral if they work with a therapist, or check out online directories to choose the right therapist for you. [18] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source
Reasons You Might Hate Your Life
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1Stress at work or school Maybe you have a lot on your plate at your job, or you’re feeling like your current career path is unfulfilling. Or, maybe you’re taking a difficult course load at school, and you’re worried about your grades. These types of stressors can easily bring down your mood and lead to feelings of unhappiness with your life. [19] X Research source
- You may even be experiencing burnout, which is a state of physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion brought on by a prolonged period of stress. [20] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
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2Difficulties with platonic, romantic, or familial relationships Humans are wired for social connection. In fact, research shows that our need to connect with others is as essential as the need for food and shelter, and our brains respond to social pain as intensely as they do to physical pain. [21] X Research source As a result, problems with your relationships can have a profound impact on your well-being. [22] X Research source
- Say, for example, that you’re dealing with a toxic friendship or romantic relationship , or you’ve been arguing a lot with your parents or siblings.
- Or maybe you’re struggling to make friends or find a romantic partner, leading to feelings of loneliness or isolation. All of these things could be contributing factors.
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3Anxieties about money or finances Financial stress can definitely have a negative effect on your mood and mental health. If you lost your job recently or you’re struggling to pay your rent or bills, these circumstances could be to blame for your negative feelings about life lately. [23] X Research source
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4Self-esteem struggles It’s completely normal to get down on yourself every now and then, but if your inner critic has been super loud lately, this can do a number on your well-being and mood. A constant slew of negative thoughts about yourself can easily cause you to start thinking more negatively about life in general. [24] X Research source
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5Problems with your physical health Physical pain has a negative effect on your mood and happiness levels. [25] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source In fact, research shows that people living with chronic pain are at heightened risk for mental health problems like depression and anxiety. [26] X Research source So, if you’ve been struggling with an illness, injury, or chronic health problem, this may be at the root of your unhappy feelings.
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6Mental health problems Mental health conditions like depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and substance abuse issues can cause negative feelings about life. If you’re living with one of these conditions and your symptoms have been flaring up lately, this could be the reason you’ve been feeling like you hate your life. [27] X Research source
Is thinking “I hate my life” a sign of depression?
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Occasionally thinking “I hate my life” is not a sign of depression. It’s normal to experience difficult periods from time to time, and this isn’t usually a cause for concern. [28] X Research source However, if you’re having this thought on a regular basis and experiencing other mental health symptoms at the same time, you may be struggling with depression. In this case, it’s important to seek out treatment with a healthcare professional right away. Here are symptoms of depression to look out for: [29] X Trustworthy Source Cleveland Clinic Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals Go to source
- Persistent feelings of sadness, anxiety, hopelessness, pessimism, or emptiness
- Loss of interest in things that used to bring you joy, like participating in hobbies or spending time with family and friends
- Getting irritated or frustrated more easily
- Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
- Fatigue or lack of energy
- Sleep issues (insomnia, waking up too early, oversleeping)
- Changes in appetite or unintentional weight changes
- Thoughts of self harm or suicide [30]
X
Trustworthy Source
National Institute of Mental Health
Informational website from U.S. government focused on the understanding and treatment of mental illness.
Go to source
- If you’re experiencing thoughts of suicide and you’re in the U.S. or Canada, call or text the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988, or contact emergency services at 911. [31] X Trustworthy Source Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Main public health institute for the US, run by the Dept. of Health and Human Services Go to source
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References
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/health/i-hate-my-life-why-its-ok-to-feel-this-way-and-what-to-do#focus-on-what-you-can-control
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/cultivating-happiness.htm
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/social-media-and-mental-health.htm
- ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/signs-you-need-to-take-a-break-from-social-media
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/health/i-hate-my-life-why-its-ok-to-feel-this-way-and-what-to-do
- ↑ https://www.cdc.gov/sleep/about_sleep/how_much_sleep.html
- ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/nutrition-and-healthy-eating/in-depth/water/art-20044256
- ↑ https://www.cdc.gov/physicalactivity/basics/adults/index.htm
- ↑ https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/eat-well/how-to-eat-a-balanced-diet/eating-a-balanced-diet/
- ↑ https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/tips-and-support/how-to-be-happier/
- ↑ https://health.ucdavis.edu/blog/cultivating-health/3-ways-getting-outside-into-nature-helps-improve-your-health/2023/05
- ↑ https://www.apa.org/monitor/2020/04/nurtured-nature
- ↑ https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/the-power-of-positive-thinking
- ↑ https://sdlab.fas.harvard.edu/cognitive-reappraisal/positive-reframing-and-examining-evidence
- ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat/the-power-of-self-compassion
- ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat/the-power-of-self-compassion
- ↑ https://www.choosingtherapy.com/why-am-i-so-unhappy/
- ↑ https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/patients-and-families/finding-good-therapist
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/health/i-hate-my-life-why-its-ok-to-feel-this-way-and-what-to-do
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/stress/burnout-prevention-and-recovery.htm
- ↑ https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2013-09689-000
- ↑ https://www.choosingtherapy.com/why-am-i-so-unhappy/
- ↑ https://www.choosingtherapy.com/why-am-i-so-unhappy/
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/health/i-hate-my-life-why-its-ok-to-feel-this-way-and-what-to-do
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/illness-disability/chronic-pain-and-mental-health.htm
- ↑ https://www.psychiatry.org/news-room/apa-blogs/chronic-pain-and-mental-health-interconnected
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/health/i-hate-my-life-why-its-ok-to-feel-this-way-and-what-to-do
- ↑ https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/its-okay-to-feel-sad
- ↑ https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/9290-depression
- ↑ https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/depression
- ↑ https://www.cdc.gov/suicide/resources/index.html
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The content of this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, examination, diagnosis, or treatment. You should always contact your doctor or other qualified healthcare professional before starting, changing, or stopping any kind of health treatment.