Q&A for How to Cope With Being in Love With a Fictional Character

This is a neologism that describes an attraction or deep affection for fictional characters in books, anime, cartoons, comics, stories, etc. A fan (or fanboy/fangirl) may be so attracted to the character that the character’s features, actions and traits become idealized and more desirable than people in real life. The fan may even fall in love with the character and wish to spend their life with the character.

You can have a fictional marriage with a fictional character. For example, there is a website called "Marry Your Fictional Character Online," which provides a space where you can virtually marry your fictional character and get a marriage certificate. In Japan, marrying anime characters sometimes takes place using virtual reality ceremonies. Or, you could create your own ceremony at home, either by yourself or by inviting other fiction character fans to attend, and you can even have all the usual trappings of a wedding, from wedding clothes to reception food. All such "marriages" are fictional and internally created, they are not legally recognized.

All characters, regardless of how wicked, have some virtue or trait that makes them interesting or engaging; that's how stories move. This character clearly left an impression on you for a reason. You may feel the way you do for him/her because of something they did or said, or possibly just by their role in the story. Maybe there's something you admire about this person, even if they are/were horrible.

Sure, that's perfectly normal. I am a guy and I love fictional characters too.

I’d suggest just ignoring it. I’m currently crushing on a fictional character that already has a girlfriend in the series, but I just ignore it and don't let it affect me. You can still fantasize about the character if you want, none of this is real!

Emphasize that you are not crazy and are aware of the fact that the character is not real. I am personally in love with a fictional character and my family is aware of it and has accepted it. It is actually quite common to fall in love with or obsess over a fictional character.

You like who and what you like. Don't let others' opinions influence you unduly.

No, you are not the problem. People are often judgmental of others who are attached to fictional characters, but there's nothing wrong or "creepy" about it. Don't be ashamed of your interests!

You don't HAVE to tell anyone about it. If you decide you want to, you could try to ease your way into a conversation about the character with someone you trust and, if you feel comfortable, confess. If not, then don't.

Tell your friend that you are not crazy for falling in love with a fictional character, and that this happens to a lot of people/fans. You can also tell your friend that you understand that the character is fictional.

Tell them what show or book you watch or read, and then talk about what you love about it and the character.

You will stop focusing on your responsibilities and only think about them. Cut them out if they affect your life too much. You need to have a little space so that you can focus on your real life. Remember, they are only fictional.

Yes, that is extremely common and nothing to worry about.

Yes, it is quite normal.

Don't listen to those people. Inkheart is a wonderful book series, and Dustfinger is an interesting character. I can personally understand how you would fall in love with him. Just ignore people who tease you over this. Confide in a friend who doesn't judge you, or try to find some other Dustfinger fans online. I'm certain you're not the only one.

You feel toward that character just as you would feel for someone whom you love in real life. You daydream about this person, you draw and write about them, you wish you could be with them, etc.

That's actually a tough question to answer. If you also find that you have feelings for same-gendered people in real life, then you may be gay or bisexual. On the other hand, a person's sexual orientation is not entirely clear from their feelings toward fictional characters. You should explore your feelings toward real people to discover who you want to be with.

It's not "normal" in the sense that most people don't have those fantasies, but it's relatively common. As long as you're not completely obsessed with the character and you're capable of feeling sexual attraction for real people, there's no cause for concern.

Of course. Just because the character isn't real doesn't mean your feelings aren't. Give yourself time to grieve, and then move on to reality.

Most all of these supposedly "Yandere" people are likely between the ages of 9 and 13. I'm sure they have no idea what it truly means to be a Yandere, and likely would never be brave enough to kill someone over a fictional character. And if they did they would most definitely not get away with it. They would be put in either jail or a mental hospital. Meet them over the internet, and protect your identity. If nobody you meet is mature enough to embrace the fact that Sans isn't real, and if they can't be mature and bond with you over this character, therefore making a friend who understands them, delete the conversation.

Stop thinking about the character you like so much. Sometimes it's best to put down the books and look around at the world you actually live in. You might be surprised at what you've missed, and your dream lover might be standing right in front of you!

Think about the characteristics that made you fall in love, like a sense of humor or intelligence. Look for a real person with those characteristics to get over your fictional love.

Whether the fiction you are consuming is live-action or not, the characters portrayed are completely fictional, and are extremely likely to not represent the true personalities of the person playing the character.

Sure. It's very normal to feel threatened and respond negatively when you're being picked on, regardless of the reason.

Cope the same way you would if you were in love with a male character. There are no different steps.

Avoid material that has any involvement with that character, since continuous viewing of said material is just going to act like an anchor for you.

You may feel guilty because you are afraid that having a crush on someone who isn't real may not be normal and you may feel like you have to hide your feelings. Just remember that your feelings are normal, but don't let them take over and keep you from forming real relationships.

Explain to them carefully that you understand that the character is fictional and that this sort of thing is very common among young people. However, maybe it is you who needs to reach acceptance that they don't understand it rather than spending your energies trying to convince them. Everyone has different ideas of love and, being older, parents usually like concrete realities that help children get somewhere in life.

Well, there's nothing wrong with someone who's deformed, or loving someone who is. There's nothing particularly embarrassing about that. And a lot of people love villains. If you look online you can probably easily find others who love that character too, not just romantically but in general. Most decent characters have some fans - maybe finding others who share your feelings will help you feel less embarrassed.

There are alot of people like you, so yes, it is normal. Some characters are created like that on purpose, to catch a person's eye.