Q&A for How to Deal With Snobby People

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How do you respond to a disrespectful person?

Jessica George, MA, CHt
Certified Professional Master Life Coach
Jessica George is a Marriage and Family Therapist, Certified Professional Master Life Coach, and Co-Founder of Evolve Therapy Coaching based in Glendale, California. With more than 20 years of experience, she specializes in hybrid therapy and coaching services, couples counseling, and clinical hypnotherapy. Jessica holds a Bachelor’s degree from The University of California, Santa Barbara and an MA in Counseling Psychology and Talk Therapy from Ryokan College. Jessica is trained in the Imago technique and the Gottman method for couples therapy. She also earned a Professional Life-Coach Certification from The Fowler Academy and an Infinite Possibilities Relationship Certification. She is a member of the International Board of Coaches and Practitioners (IBCP).

Jessica George, MA, CHt

Certified Professional Master Life Coach

Expert Answer

Do not call them out on it, or it may turn into an argument! Say that you noticed that they seem out of sorts and ask them if there is anything you can do. Your best weapon is to disarm the other person!

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Question

What should I do if I have a friend who's always talking about her grades and complaining about high marks?

Community Answer

The first option is to just ignore her. Accept that this is part of who she is and a source of anxiety for her. The other option is to confront her and tell her that you find it frustrating when she talks about grades or complains about marks that other people would be happy to get. Just be aware that the second option might make your friend angry.

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Question

What should I do if I hate this person, but at the same time I want to be friends with her just because she is smart?

Community Answer

Surrounding yourself with smart people isn't a bad thing, but make sure you aren't interested in friendship just to use that person for his intelligence. There has to be more to a friendship than that.

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What if none of these suggestions work?

Community Answer

Sometimes there's nothing you can do. You have to let them be snobby and adjust to it.

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How do I deal with people who are intolerant of others who are somewhat different from them?

Community Answer

If you know them personally, you could try to explain why you feel their actions/words are intolerant. That said, a lot of people are being labeled as "hateful" or "intolerant" these days who simply hold a different opinion on an issue than the majority. If that's the case, you may have to agree to disagree.

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Question

What do I do if another person is rubbing their achievements (that I want to achieve as well) in my face?

Socialmaster

Community Answer

One thing you could do is find your own hobbies that you enjoy and are good at. Then, you know that you enjoy what you are doing and you are not just doing them for the sake of rubbing things in someone's face. The other choice is to distance yourself from this person. If you don't enjoy their company (and they only enjoy it when they rub achievements in your face), why should you have to hang out with them? Find friends who respect your hobbies and achievements.

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Question

There's a girl at my school who thinks she's the best, and whenever I call her out for it or try to tell her that she's being annoying, she gets defensive and tries to make it look like I'm bad. What can I do?

Community Answer

First of all you have a right to get up and leave if you feel you're not comfortable being in her company. You have a choice of who you hang around in school. Just don't be in her company, and if she comes over and asks you why, then there's your one on one moment to tell her in a kind way about what she is doing and how she tries to make you look bad.

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Question

What if being snobby back works? Am I a bad person for having to use their ways against them?

Tom De Backer

Top Answerer

No, this does not work. If I slap your face, then you will say that is not allowed. Because it hurts, obviously. Next, you have to choose. You can either slap me back or say it is not allowed, you can't have both. We are all equal; if it's not allowed for me to slap you, then it's not allowed for me to slap anyone, for anyone to slap anyone, for you to slap anyone, and for you to slap me. If you feel being snobby is wrong, then you can't be snobby either. Or you can be snobby, but then you can't hold his being snobby against him.

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Question

There is this guy who's always staring and never utters a word. Whenever I catch him, he acts like I don't exist at all. What's going on?

Tom De Backer

Top Answerer

He likely wants to have love in his life, but doesn't know yet with whom, and you've caught his eye. Or he's interested in you, but is shy. Both are legitimate feelings. If he wants love, he's going to have to talk to someone at some point, which is something he may not have learned yet. You don't have to suffer this, though. You're well within your right to call him out for staring. Try to be calm and polite, but certainly be firm. He'll have to learn that it's probably already too late to have any chance with you, and he should have said something as soon as he felt something.

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Question

There is a girl I know who is VERY popular. I always see her and my mom is friends with her mom. The girl is just a bit stuck up, but she's never been mean to me and I want to be her friend. What should I do?

Community Answer

Try to do some of the things she does. Try to talk to some of the people she is good friends with and let her see. Act popular too.

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