Q&A for How to Deal With a Difficult Cousin

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Is it normal to fight with family?

Kirsten Thompson, MD
Board Certified Psychiatrist
Dr. Kirsten Thompson is a Board Certified Psychiatrist, Clinical Instructor at UCLA, and the Founder of Remedy Psychiatry. She specializes in helping patients with mental health conditions such as major depressive disorder, anxiety, ADHD, bipolar disorder, OCD, PTSD, and postpartum depression. Dr. Thompson holds a BS in Operations Research Industrial Engineering from Cornell University and an MD from The State University of New York, Downstate College of Medicine.

Kirsten Thompson, MD

Board Certified Psychiatrist

Expert Answer

It's more normal than you might think! In fact, it's common to default to defensiveness, anger, and hurt while arguing with a relative, since there are often coexisting feelings of comfort and safety that ironically make you feel confident enough to say whatever's on your mind.

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How can you make someone stop liking you?

Community Answer

Try to not talk to that person. If you do encounter this person, have a bored or angry-yet-subtle facial expression and body tone.

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What do I do when my cousin starts crying, or tells on me?

Community Answer

Just tell the person what your cousin did to you. If the person gets mad at you for whatever you did to your cousin, then just walk away.

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What if should I do if they start telling me off?

Community Answer

Just walk away and act like they never said anything. Ignore them. If they continue, tell an adult.

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What if my cousin just hangs out with his friends and ignores me?

Community Answer

Follow the steps in the article. Just don't go overboard. If he and his friends are around and try to talk to you, simply ignore them and leave the place. Be yourself and show him that you're happy without him. That way he'll see something's wrong.

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Question

How can I make my much older cousin feel guilty for talking to me like a child?

Community Answer

The most you can do is walk away and ignore them. You could also stand up for yourself, or even tell your parents or other relatives about their behavior and let them intervene on your behalf.

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Question

What should I do if my cousin is making fun of my friends?

Community Answer

Tell them what they're doing is wrong and rude and ask them to stop. If that doesn't work, ignore them or ask an adult to talk to them.

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Question

What if my cousin never pays attention?

Community Answer

Do something to make the conversation more interesting. Or show your cousin that this is serious and they need to listen. But if they keep on being inattentive, act disinterested in their presence and do your own thing. Eventually curiosity will get the better of them.

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What if my younger cousin initiates a physical fight?

Community Answer

Do not respond to or fight your younger cousin. Try to ignore her and disengage from the situation. If you are at risk of getting hurt, get away and/or call for an adult.

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Question

What should I do if I am angry at my cousin, but want us to be able talk?

Abbi Bowman

Community Answer

It is okay to talk it out. It is better to talk to them then ignore them and make it worse.

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How do I deal with a cousin that always tries to be better than me?

Community Answer

Stop trying! Seriously, it's the best way to stop competitive behavior, just do your own thing and let them enjoy feeling like the conformist goody-two-shoes they are. Whenever they boast, just arch your eyebrows and say something like: "Oh reeeeallly? How very fascinating." Then change the subject because you're like, oh so very bored by them and their achievements. They'll soon realize it's a waste of time because you march to the beat of your own drum, a drum they're never going to find the drumsticks to.

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Question

What if my cousin calls me ugly?

Community Answer

Ask them to stop. Tell them it hurts your feeling and makes them appear childish and trite.

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Question

What if my cousin has hurt my feelings?

Community Answer

Be kind to them, and pretty soon, they'll be kind to you! They are family, so talk to them or talk to your parents or their parents. Don't make a big deal out of it and it'll blow over.

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How do I react if my younger cousin is being rude to me and there are no adults in the house?

Community Answer

Don't be rude back. Set an example. Calmly tell your cousin that the way they're speaking/acting is unacceptable, and tell them why, i.e., "You're being rude, and you wouldn't like it if I spoke to you that way." If they continue being rude, just ignore them and tell an adult about their behavior whenever one returns home.

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Question

What do I do if my cousin talks about me with their friends?

FBI

Community Answer

Ignore them. Get friends of your own over and make fun of them. If they continue, let a parent or guardian know.

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Question

Why does my cousin make a big deal out of everything?

Community Answer

Maybe they are looking for attention, or maybe they see things in a different way than you do. Things that might seem like no big deal to you might be a big deal to them depending on how important the matter is to them.

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Question

What should I do if my cousin keeps taking my phone to use it, and I don't like it?

Community Answer

Keep your phone with you all the time!

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