Q&A for How to Get Someone to Tell You a Secret

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  • Question
    What do I do if my friend keeps other peoples' secrets but tells everyone mine?
    Community Answer
    Personally, I would stop being friends with them. You could also confront them. Tell them you didn't appreciate them telling your secret to others and then consider not telling this person anything important for awhile.
  • Question
    What if they tell almost everybody except for me?
    Community Answer
    If someone is making a point of widely sharing a "secret" then it's probably best to avoid getting caught up in the drama. It's unlikely that they have positive intentions in sharing something so widely while also working to keep it from you. Try to ignore their efforts: often times in situations like these, if you don't give their efforts attention, they will get bored and move on. If you feel like you are being bullied and ignoring them doesn't work, it might be a good idea to share the situation with your parent or teacher. Someone shouldn't be making you feel unsafe or uncomfortable.
  • Question
    My bro keeps trying to tell my mom a big secret about me. He keeps saying if you always annoy me, I will tell her. What can I do?
    Community Answer
    Try not to annoy him! If you're not doing anything to annoy him and he's still threatening to share your secret, tell him you will reveal something about him if he reveals your secret. Or you could just tell your mom yourself and have it out of the way.
  • Question
    I tell my best friend everything, but he only tells me some of his secrets. He said it was a "touchy subject." How should I interpret this?
    Community Answer
    Maybe it's about his family or mental issues. My friend has depression and it took a long time for her to open up and tell me so just be patient and tell your friend that you're always there for him if he wants to talk. It's important not to pressure them to share, but instead offer your care and support.
  • Question
    What do I do if the person tells me a secret, but it's one I already know? How do I get the secret I want?
    Community Answer
    Play "Truth or Dare" and you can ask the person directly about the secret you want to know.
  • Question
    How do I get someone to divulge a secret if they are hesitant to reveal it?
    Community Answer
    Just let them know that you're there for them and tell them to take their time. Because you are not being pushy, they might let their guard down enough to trust you and tell you.
  • Question
    I've tried all the tips you said, but my friend still won't tell me what's wrong and it's making me worried. What do I do?
    Community Answer
    In that case, since she doesn't want to talk, don't push her. If she really, truly doesn't want to tell you, I suggest you tell her that you'll there for her when she needs you and give her space.
  • Question
    What if someone still doesn't want to tell their secret?
    Community Answer
    Give them some time to think about it. They will tell you when they are ready.
  • Question
    How do I get my friends to tell secrets?
    Community Answer
    If you think you know what the secret is about, bring it up in conversation until they spill the details.
  • Question
    My friend broke up with her boyfriend and she won't tell me why. How can I make her tell me?
    Community Answer
    Give her time; it's up to her. She's probably really sensitive about it right now. If you try to force her, she won't want to tell you even more.
  • Question
    How do I tell someone I don't like them without being mean?
    Community Answer
    Do you NEED to tell them? Most people get the hint if you're polite but distant and don't respond to their attempts to build a closer relationship. Flat out telling someone you don't like them may be hurtful and is usually unnecessary.
  • Question
    My friend was upset by something, but she won't tell me what it was. What can I do?
    Community Answer
    Maybe she is embarrassed or just too upset to talk about it. Be supportive no matter what, tell her that if she decides she wants to talk about whatever is bothering her, you will be there. Leave it at that.
  • Question
    What if my friend is pestering me to tell her a secret, but I don't have any secrets?
    Community Answer
    Tell her honestly that you don't have any secrets right now, but that you will tell her as soon as you do have one.
  • Question
    My friend is bisexual, and I completely respect that, but sometimes it's awkward because she won't tell me who she likes. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    She doesn't have to tell you who she likes. That's not an essential part of a friendship - and she might find it awkward or pointless to discuss her crushes on girls with you since you don't see girls from the same perspective. Just be a good friend and show that you are trustworthy. She can choose to open up on her own if she feels comfortable, but if not, that's fine.
  • Question
    What should I do if my friend told everybody else a secret but won't tell me?
    Community Answer
    It could be for a valid reason. If you're really concerned, confront your friend about it.
  • Question
    If I know a secret about something and I really want to tell someone but they refuse, what do I do?
    Community Answer
    If someone doesn't want to hear the secret, don't tell them. They're probably afraid they will blab it to everyone. Find someone else to tell the secret to, or tell a pet or other animal if you're concerned about the secret getting out.
  • Question
    I told two of my friends a secret; one of them didn't talk about it at all, but the other would always talk about it. She talks so loudly so people find out. What do I do?
    Community Answer
    Maybe try telling them in a private place or tell them in a polite way not to talk so loudly when you tell them your secret. Or ask them not to talk about it at all. If the one friend can't manage to keep their voice down, stop telling them secrets.
  • Question
    My friend thinks it's sensitive, what should I do?
    Community Answer
    Just give them time and try not to be too pushy about it. Tell them (not right after you've been trying to get the secret out) that you're always there for them and they can tell you anything.
  • Question
    My friend does something every night, and she won't tell me what she does. How can I find out what she's up to?
    Community Answer
    You could try following her, but that's something you should do at your own risk. I would recommend giving your friend her privacy.
  • Question
    How do I get someone to tell me her crush?
    Community Answer
    Play truth or dare. Nothing like a good game of truth or dare to back someone into a corner.
  • Question
    How do I get someone to tell me who he likes?
    Community Answer
    1. Ask. 2. If he won't tell you, leave it alone for 3 days. 3. Try again. 4. If he still won't tell, ask his friends. 5. Still don't know? Give up.
  • Question
    I told all my secrets to my friend. And now he is not my friend. What to do?
    Community Answer
    If you think that this person is going to leak your secrets, you can try to prevent it by talking through your differences and appealing to your ex-friend's decency. That said, if this ex-friend is mean-spirited, you may not be able to stop him from telling. Prepare yourself and be determined not to be intimidated by what others' think of you.
  • Question
    What do I do if someone tells my best friend a secret and my best friend won't tell me?
    Community Answer
    Don't pressure your friend to share: instead, you should focus on being grateful that you have a friend who you know can be trusted to keep secrets (including the secrets that you tell them.)
  • Question
    How do I get my crush to talk to me more?
    Community Answer
    When most people have a crush, they tend to think about that person nonstop. Because of this, it might seem a little "pushy" when you try to talk to them more. I would recommend casually approaching that person maybe once or twice a week to have a friendly conversation. The rest of the time, let them approach you.
  • Question
    What do I do if a kid knows my crush and they are going to tell everybody?
    Community Answer
    Act like you don't care, if they think you don't care, they won't be as likely to tell anyone.
  • Question
    What should I do if I think that someone has the wrong idea about me?
    Community Answer
    If it's related to something specific, you should talk to them about it, for example, "I'm worried you think I was the one that took your pencil, but I just wanted you to know it wasn't, I would never do that." If you think someone just has a general bad impression of you, prove them wrong!
  • Question
    My niece is pregnant and hiding it with tight clothes, but her colleagues told me. How can I get her to be honest with me?
    Community Answer
    Unless this niece is a minor, it is none of your business. (I'm guessing she's not since you used the word "colleagues.") She might be planning a special announcement, or she may just want to keep her pregnancy to herself; you should respect her privacy and wait for her to come to you herself.
  • Question
    My friend is mad at me and she won't tell me why. How do I get her to tell me?
    Community Answer
    Do you have a mutual friend she might have talked to about it that you could ask? If not, you might just have to be patient. She'll probably break down and tell you eventually, but she might just need a little time to cool off first.
  • Question
    How do I get people to stop telling me secrets?
    Community Answer
    Next time someone tells you a secret, just say, "I don't want to know about that, and I'd appreciate if you'd stop telling me your secrets." Repeat this to as many people as needed. You could also just tell someone's secret to a whole bunch of people, that way you'll get a reputation for being untrustworthy and no one will want to tell you their secrets.
  • Question
    How can I get someone who doesn't like me to tell me a secret?
    Community Answer
    Get them to like you. Talk to them more and do something nice for them. Make them your friend first, then try to casually ask them about their secret.
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