Q&A for How to Know if You Are Asexual or Pansexual

You may be experiencing aesthetic attraction, where you think someone is very attractive. Some aromantic people do experience aesthetic attraction, where they think someone is really good-looking but wouldn't want to date, hold hands, or do any romantic things. It's possible that you're an aromantic person who experiences aesthetic attraction from time to time. There's nothing wrong with that. Try doing some reading on the different types of attraction, and on different orientations, to help you better understand them and figure out what fits you best.

You can be biromantic or panromantic and still be asexual. You may want to do some research into these terms. Keep in mind that the way you identify may change over time, and that's perfectly fine.

Yes. Asexuality is the absence of sexual attraction. Some asexuals do masturbate to blow off steam or relax.

If you don't feel any sexual or romantic attraction, you may be asexual aromantic. It is possible (and common) for these labels to change over time, so don't be afraid to change it up if you feel like this doesn't suit you later on. It's always up to you how you choose to identify.

This article discusses these because they are a lot harder to figure out than other sexualities.

If you're afraid of sex, that might be a psychological issue worth talking to a therapist about. Most asexual people are not afraid of sex, they just don't have any interest in having it. But if you truly feel that you're asexual, trust your instincts.

Firstly, yes, of course your sexuality is valid. There isn't really anything about being a heteromantic asexual that a Christian could take offense to, but if just sit them down and explain how you're feeling, what those terms mean (to you specifically) and what you need from them (support, understanding, etc.). Don't be alarmed if they don't immediately understand, sometimes people need time to process their thoughts and feelings.

Perhaps you're aromantic? If you've found people attractive but never had a crush, maybe you aren't interested in romantic relationships? Asexuality means you aren't interested in sex at all. Romantic relationships are fine, but no sex. But if you are okay with dating all genders and like both romantic and sexual parts of a relationship and can see yourself in one, then you're probably pan.

Trans women are women, so being attracted to trans women as well as cis (non-trans) women doesn't change anything about your sexuality. If you are a man, you'd be straight, and if you are a women, you'd be gay/lesbian.

It might be hard to know if you're asexual or not when you're younger because some teens aren't interested in sex at the moment while some do not experience sexual attraction and are asexual. However, based on your question, it's likely that you are romantically or emotionally attracted to them and only experience romantic/emotional attraction. As for the intimate dream, this might have to do with being attracted to them but not sexually attracted.

It's possible that you're panromantic asexual which is what you described: being attracted to all genders (romantically) but not sexually.

It's likely that you're graysexual or experience have romantic attraction; you can be graysexual and watch porn, however, the fact that sexual activity with another person doesn't really interest you, but you like cuddling and kissing might mean you only have romantic attraction.

Both! I assume you mean you are interested in romance and sex for any gender. Romantic attraction and sexual attraction are separate things. You can have a sexual orientation and a romantic orientation, these sometimes might match up (like it does for you), or it might not (for example, being a heteroromantic homosexual, or a biromantic asexual), both are okay.

Not entirely. Asexuality does not mean anti-sex in a negative manner. Asexuals do not hate sex, they have no sex drive/desire to have sex. Hating sex is not the same as having no desire; no desire means you don't look at anyone and have an urge to want to have sex. You're 13, so an aversion to sex is normal.

Being panromantic means that you're romantically attracted to all genders, so that may describe you. But if you experience arousal, you're probably not asexual, meaning pansexual would still be an accurate term. Honestly, it's possible you're just not sexually attracted to your girlfriend. That says more about your current relationship than it does about the status of your sexuality. You don't need to label yourself one way or the other, especially if you've just started dating and you're still figuring things out.

By no means; you can still like and date people while not feeling that type of attraction. It sounds as though you may be an asexual panromantic.

Cuddling and hand-holding are not necessarily romantic. They can be part of a romantic relationship, but do not have to be. What you are experiencing sounds like one of the other types of attraction, like platonic attraction or aesthetic attraction.

It can be confusing to have sexual thoughts or attractions. A lot of your confusion is completely normal and a part of realizing yourself as a sexual being. As you begin to explore your sexuality you will become more comfortable with it.

You could be asexual. Plenty of asexual people masturbate/feel sexual desire, but have no interest in sex. However, keep in mind that if you're still a kid/teen, your mind and body are still changing, so you may feel differently in the future.