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Gender fluidity refers to changes in a person's gender expression, gender identity, or both throughout time. This shift might be in expression but not in identity, or in identity but not in expression. Both can occur together. Finding out whether or not you're genderfluid can be difficult. This wikiHow will walk you through your gender journey. [1] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Medical School Harvard Medical School's Educational Site for the Public Go to source
Steps
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1Understand what sex assigned at birth is. The sex ascribed to a baby at birth, which is determined by the newborn's external anatomy. For many people, they grow up identifying with the sex assigned at birth, and grow up as a woman or man; this is referred to as cisgender.
- Assigned Female at Birth is referred to as AFAB.
- Assigned Male at Birth is referred to as AMAB.
- Assigned Intersex at Birth is referred to as AIAB.
- Assigned Gender at Birth is referred to as AGAB.
Did You Know? Someone who doesn’t identify with their sex assigned at birth fits under the trans umbrella, which includes transgender, non-binary, genderqueer, and genderfluid gender identities.
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2Understand what being genderfluid is. Genderfluid is a term used by someone whose gender is, well, fluid. If someone’s gender identity or expression changes day to day or according to their mood, it’s fluid, hence the label genderfluid. Here’s an example of a genderfluid person:
- Eli is a genderfluid teenager who uses he/she/they pronouns. On Monday, they are wearing a skirt paired with a crop top and a cute pair of Mary Jane shoes. On Wednesday, he is wearing a t-shirt with baggy jeans and boots.
This is just one example of a genderfluid person, however, every genderfluid individual is different.
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3Know what gender expression is. Gender expression is the way someone expresses their gender identity. It's different from gender identity, since gender expression is 'external' while gender identity is 'internal'.
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1See how you feel about your assigned sex at birth. If you don't feel comfortable identifying with the gender you were assigned at birth, or your gender and sex don't correspond to each other, it's very likely you identify under the trans umbrella, whether or not you're gender-fluid.
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2See if your gender expression or gender identity changes day by day, or according to your mood. Gender fluidity entails expressing your gender a certain way one day, and dressing differently another day. If your gender expression changes day-to-day based on how you feel, this is a high sign of being genderfluid.
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3Observe what pronouns you prefer. Do you prefer a mix of pronouns, a set of specific pronouns, all pronouns, no pronouns, neopronouns, or two specific sets of pronouns? Pronouns can say a bit about gender. If you use multiple sets of pronouns or don’t have a pronoun preference, you could be gender fluid.
- Many genderfluid people don’t mind which pronouns are used for them, but some do, so don’t rely entirely on pronouns to know what you gender identity is.
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4Pay attention to your gender expression. This is a big part in knowing your gender. If you like to wear masculine, feminine, and gender neutral clothing, this could be a big sign pointing to genderfluidity.
- Ask yourself questions such as "What do you like to wear?" and "What are you comfortable wearing?" This may indicate that you are gender-fluid.
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5Recognize how the label feels. Do you feel happy and comfortable with being genderfluid? Does it suit you? Does it make you feel good? If you answered yes to two or more of the questions, you are likely genderfluid.
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6Give yourself the possibilities of identifying with another gender later on. It’s perfectly fine to identify with one gender one week, and another gender the next month. Some people identify as non-binary, then transgender, to genderfluid.. Let's face it: gender identity can be confusing and hard to understand.
Tip: Take your time exploring your gender and don’t be afraid to experiment with labels or use different ones for now.
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7Ask yourself questions. This can help you understand yourself, determine your gender identity, know how you feel in certain clothes, and more. Ask yourself the following questions that correlate to being genderfluid:
- Does this label make me happy?
- How do I feel dressing in masculine clothing?
- How do I feel dressing in feminine clothing?
- Do I like I feel comfortable with being genderfluid?
- Does the label genderfluid describe me?
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1Change your name if you want to. If you don't want people to refer to you by your name assigned at birth, feel free change it. Though not everyone who is genderfluid changes their name, many do. You do not have to come up with a new name that begins with the letter of the name you were given at birth. Choose any name that you like and makes you happy.
- Try out this name generator created for nonbinary, feminine, masculine, and genderfluid people to find a new name to use.
Remember: It's a great idea to try out different names before you settle on one. Try out the name with friends or family to see how it fits. You might like a name one day, but dislike it a while after, so take your time.
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2Wear what you like. One of the best parts about being genderfluid is being able to tune your style and clothing to your mood. Whether you want to wear dresses, skirts, crop tops, jeans, t-shirts, hoodies, sweaters, leggings, or fishnets, anything you want to wear is fine as long as those clothes make you confident, happy, and comfortable.
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3Use pronouns you're comfortable with. You might be familiar with pronouns already, but for clarification, gender pronouns are what we use to refer to someone with besides their name. Pronouns can affirm someone's gender, reduce dysphoria, and are part of gender expression. Many genderfluid people use all pronouns or certain sets of pronouns, such as she/he/they or he/xe. Whatever works for you and makes you comfortable is perfectly fine. [2] X Research source
- Common pronoun sets include she/her, they/them, and he/him.
- If you're comfortable with this, you can use neopronouns, such as ze/hir, xe/xem, or ne/nem.
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4Know how to cope with any dysphoria that arises. Some trans people (especially trans teenagers) experience gender dysphoria, a strong desire to have characteristics of a certain sex. [3] X Research source This can lead to anxiety, depression, or suicidal thoughts, which is why it's important to know how to cope with dysphoria.
- Ways to deal with dysphoria include practicing self care , doing things you like such as painting or drawing, listening to music, or talking to supportive family/friends about how you feel.
- Avoid unhealthy ways of dealing with dysphoria or stress, such as self harming . Talk to someone if you need help or are having suicidal thoughts.
- Take a look at Combat Dysphoria While Bathing to handle dysphoria while showering or bathing.
- How to Deal with Your Period as a Transgender or Nonbinary Person has information on how to handle a menstrual cycle when you're gender diverse or trans.
- Reader Poll: We asked 818 wikiHow readers who've experienced gender dysphoria, and 55% of them agreed that the best way to cope is by distracting yourself with hobbies or activities you enjoy. [Take Poll]
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5Know that there's no one way to be genderfluid. Each genderfluid person is different. Each person is different. There are different pronouns, names, clothing styles that everyone prefers. Don't be worried if you don't "fit" the description of the genderfluid label.
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QuestionIf I am genderfluid, do I have to pick a new name that is gender neutral?NicoTop AnswererOnly if you want to! Many genderfluid people decide to go by a new name and some continue to use the name they were given at birth. If you want to choose a new name, it doesn't have to be gender neutral; it can be whatever you want.
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QuestionDo genderfluid people have to be masculine one day and feminine the next day, and so on?NicoTop AnswererNo. A genderfluid person does not have to alternate between being feminine and masculine each day. Each genderfluid person represents and expresses their gender differently. They might dress femininely more and androgynously less often, or they might dress masculine most of the time but have a feminine personality.
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QuestionCan I be genderfluid but really feminine and a little masculine, or am I just a girl?NicoTop AnswererIf you feel that you're genderfluid in your heart or you know you're genderfluid, then the way you dress shouldn't really matter. Every genderfluid person is different: some are androgynous, some are very masculine, some are more feminine, and some are a mix. So yes, you can absolutely be more feminine than masculine and still be genderfluid.
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- Come out when/if you are comfortable doing so.Thanks
- Don't worry too much about how you appear to others or what pronouns they will use to refer to you based on how you appear; people will do what they want. Simply be yourself and express yourself as you see fit.Thanks
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