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My friend had a crush on me and I don't like him back. What should I say to him?

Paul Chernyak, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
Paul Chernyak is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Chicago. He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in 2011.

Paul Chernyak, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

Expert Answer

Be honest and tell him how you feel towards him. If you prefer to just be friends, then make it clear to him.

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Question

My friend told me he likes me right in front of my boyfriend. He was very forward and creepy, and even a bit rude towards my boyfriend. Should we remain friends? What should I say to him?

Paul Chernyak, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
Paul Chernyak is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Chicago. He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in 2011.

Paul Chernyak, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

Expert Answer

Clarify to him the status of your relationship. Be clear that you consider your friend as a friend strictly. Also be clear that you are currently seriously involved with your boyfriend and prefer to keep your relationship with him on friendly terms. Basically, set some clear boundaries.

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How can I gently let someone know I don't want to see them anymore?

JT Tran
Dating Coach
JT Tran is a Dating Coach and a Dating Advice Columnist for LA Weekly and Baller Magazine. JT also runs the ABCs of Attraction, a dating boot camp where he specializes in coaching Asian men and women on how to navigate the cultural and social sensitivities associated with Asian dating culture. With over ten years of dating coaching experience, JT has presented dating and relationship advice as it relates to cultural issues at Harvard University, Yale University, and the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania. His work has been featured in AsianWeek, New York, NU Asian Magazine, the Huffington Post, Channel News Asia, and Voice of America News TV.

JT Tran

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

It's best to just be honest, but try to be as nice and polite as you can. Don't just ghost the person—you might be trying not to hurt their feelings, but that can create loose ends that can be more emotionally wounding in the long term.

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She threatens suicide every time I talk about ending the relationship. What should I do?

Community Answer

You shouldn't feel compelled to stay in the relationship just to keep her safe - suicide threats are manipulative, and you don't need to stay in a relationship you're unhappy with. That being said, you can take steps to help her stay safe after you end the relationship. During the breakup, you can make it clear that there are people that care about her, and that while you don't want her to hurt herself, you can't control her actions. Afterwards, make sure she has access to a crisis hotline and can reach people who care about her; you can also call 911 if she's at an immediate risk of suicide. How to Break Up With Someone Who Is Threatening Suicide has advice that can help you end the relationship safely.

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