Q&A for How to Make Eye Contact

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Question

How do I make eye contact in a video call?

Maureen Taylor
Communications Coach
Maureen Taylor is the CEO and Founder of SNP Communications, a leadership communications company based in the San Francisco Bay Area. She has been helping leaders, founders, and innovators in all sectors hone their messaging and delivery for almost 30 years, and has worked with leaders and teams at Google, Facebook, Airbnb, SAP, Salesforce, and Spotify.

Maureen Taylor

Communications Coach

Expert Answer

Put your laptop on a pile of books, so the camera is directly across from your eyes.

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Question

Why is making eye contact so important?

Maureen Taylor
Communications Coach
Maureen Taylor is the CEO and Founder of SNP Communications, a leadership communications company based in the San Francisco Bay Area. She has been helping leaders, founders, and innovators in all sectors hone their messaging and delivery for almost 30 years, and has worked with leaders and teams at Google, Facebook, Airbnb, SAP, Salesforce, and Spotify.

Maureen Taylor

Communications Coach

Expert Answer

According to Aristotle, good eye contact exhibits the intangible characteristic of integrity. In other words, when you're telling the truth, good eye contact translates to another person that you might be credible.

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Question

If people are rude to me because I am shy, what should I do?

Community Answer

Remember you are your own person, and not what everyone else expects you to be. If you are trying to get over being shy, practice making eye contact and having small conversations with trusted family and friends.

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Question

How do I make eye contact while walking past a stranger?

Community Answer

You can just glance at them and give them a small nod or a small smile. You don't have to acknowledge them, because they are strangers.

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Question

For some reason whenever I make eye contact, I become super aware and start to wonder stuff like which eye I should be focusing on. What should I do?

Community Answer

As mentioned in the article, you should choose a focal point, such as between the eyes or slightly above them. For a more engaging connection, occasionally rotate between their left eye, their right eye, and their nose.

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Question

How should I make eye contact when giving a presentation?

Community Answer

Breath slowly, inhale and exhale, close your eyes for two seconds, then look at all of them at once.

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Question

How do I make romantic eye contact?

Community Answer

Smile. Make eye contact with your eyelids slightly lowered, but don't lower your eyes. Blink once slowly to make it look really romantic.

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Question

What if I absolutely can't make eye contact?

Community Answer

Just practice. Start slowly and work your way toward longer eye contact.

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Question

What if making eye contact makes me really uncomfortable -- almost physically painful, in fact?

Community Answer

Try looking at the person, briefly, when she isn't looking directly at you. Then slowly start practicing looking at people directly when they are looking at you.

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Question

How I do make good eye contact with teachers, interpreters, students, etc. when I'm deaf?

Community Answer

You can still make eye contact with a person whether you are or aren't deaf. As said before, start slowly, fixate your direction toward the person, and slowly but surely you will get the hang of it.

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Question

What eye should I look at when making eye contact?

Community Answer

As mentioned in the article, you should choose a focal point, such as between the eyes or slightly above them. For a more engaging connection, occasionally rotate between their left eye, their right eye, and their nose.

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Question

How do I look in both eyes simultaneously?

Community Answer

Essentially, you can’t. You can only look at one eye at a time, however, you can choose a focal point between their eyes. To the other person, it will actually look like you are looking in both eyes simultaneously. You could also switch between each eye every few seconds.

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Question

If I make eye contact with somebody, even if it's not because of love, can it make them think I'm in love with them when in fact I'm not?

Community Answer

It depends on the way you look at them. If you smile and gaze at them, they will probably think that you are in love with them. Especially if you do a slow blink. Just look at them for about 2-3 seconds, then look away.

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Question

I'm shy but I really want to make an eye contact with someone and be confident. What can I do?

Tey Lee

Community Answer

Start slowly. Try holding your own gaze in a mirror, or a reflective surface. When you feel ready, try glancing up for 2-5 seconds at the person you're talking to. Stand tall, and smile whenever you can. Try to relax, and not fidget too much. When you feel ready, try holding their gaze for 5-15 seconds.

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