Q&A for How to Overcome Fear of Abandonment

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I just lost my romantic partner to my fear of abandonment ruining our relationship, how can I cope with this?

Tasha Rube, LMSW
Licensed Master Social Worker
Tasha Rube is a Licensed Social Worker based in Kansas City, Kansas. Tasha is affiliated with the Dwight D. Eisenhower VA Medical Center in Leavenworth, Kansas. She received her Masters of Social Work (MSW) from the University of Missouri in 2014.

Tasha Rube, LMSW

Licensed Master Social Worker

Expert Answer

If your fears have impacted your life in a way that it has affected others as well, it might be time for you to seek professional help from a qualified therapist or counselor. Your therapist or counselor will help you identify the underlying cause of your abandonment fears, work through them, and develop healthy coping skills you can use in your daily life.

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Question

Why am I so scared of being left?

Peggy Rios, PhD
Counseling Psychologist
Dr. Peggy Rios is a Counseling Psychologist based in Florida. With over 24 years of experience, Dr. Rios works with people struggling with psychological symptoms such as anxiety and depression. She specializes in medical psychology, weaving together behavioral health programs informed by empowerment theory and trauma treatment. Dr. Rios uses integrated, evidence-based models to provide support and therapy for people with life-altering medical conditions. She holds an MS and Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from the University of Maryland. Dr. Rios is a licensed psychologist in the state of Florida.

Peggy Rios, PhD

Counseling Psychologist

Expert Answer

Fear of abandonment is often rooted in some underlying assumption that you're not good enough to be in the relationship. Usually there are some past experiences that will predispose you to think that way, like having overly critical family members or having been in painful friendships in elementary school or in high school, where you were made to feel less than your peers.

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Question

Can abandonment issues be resolved?

Peggy Rios, PhD
Counseling Psychologist
Dr. Peggy Rios is a Counseling Psychologist based in Florida. With over 24 years of experience, Dr. Rios works with people struggling with psychological symptoms such as anxiety and depression. She specializes in medical psychology, weaving together behavioral health programs informed by empowerment theory and trauma treatment. Dr. Rios uses integrated, evidence-based models to provide support and therapy for people with life-altering medical conditions. She holds an MS and Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from the University of Maryland. Dr. Rios is a licensed psychologist in the state of Florida.

Peggy Rios, PhD

Counseling Psychologist

Expert Answer

In order to overcome a fear of abandonment, you have to work on identifying when those thoughts and feelings come into your mind. From there, you have to learn to realistically challenge those feelings when they come up.

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Question

How do I stop abandonment issues from affecting my relationships?

Peggy Rios, PhD
Counseling Psychologist
Dr. Peggy Rios is a Counseling Psychologist based in Florida. With over 24 years of experience, Dr. Rios works with people struggling with psychological symptoms such as anxiety and depression. She specializes in medical psychology, weaving together behavioral health programs informed by empowerment theory and trauma treatment. Dr. Rios uses integrated, evidence-based models to provide support and therapy for people with life-altering medical conditions. She holds an MS and Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from the University of Maryland. Dr. Rios is a licensed psychologist in the state of Florida.

Peggy Rios, PhD

Counseling Psychologist

Expert Answer

Really work on having open friendships, where you're able to ask the person, "Are you available," or "Is this a good time?" If it's not, the person will tell you. Then, you won't have to have that uncomfortable feeling of not knowing if they really want to talk to you or not.

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