Q&A for How to Politely Decline an Invitation

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Question

How do you say no without giving a reason?

Tami Claytor
Etiquette Coach
Tami Claytor is an Etiquette Coach, Image Consultant, and the Owner of Always Appropriate Image and Etiquette Consulting in New York, New York. With over 20 years of experience, Tami specializes in teaching etiquette classes to individuals, students, companies, and community organizations. Tami has spent decades studying cultures through her extensive travels across five continents and has created cultural diversity workshops to promote social justice and cross-cultural awareness. She holds a BA in Economics with a concentration in International Relations from Clark University. Tami studied at the Ophelia DeVore School of Charm and the Fashion Institute of Technology, where she earned her Image Consultant Certification.

Tami Claytor

Etiquette Coach

Expert Answer

Just give a vague explanation without going into extra detail! Simply saying "I have other plans" is a good enough excuse—you're not obligated to give an in-depth explanation.

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Question

How do we decline an invitation to Christmas lunch from the parents of our son's girlfriend who ignores us?

Community Answer

First of all, it seems that this may be a good opportunity to work toward a better relationship with your son's girlfriend. However, a "thank you for the kind invitation, but we already have Christmas Day plans" is a perfectly polite and acceptable answer.

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Question

How do I decline a request to hang out with someone when I don't like the guy and don't want to hang out but have no good excuse?

Community Answer

You can always just say, "No, thank you, maybe we can hang out another time," but it's also perfectly fine to just say you have other plans even if you don't, as long as you don't think there's any way they'll find out you're lying.

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Question

How do I decline an offer to do something online, like an offer to go in a chat room?

Community Answer

Just say, "Sorry, I can't. I'm trying to limit my computer use," or, "I can't use the computer because I'm grounded."

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Question

How do I decline an invitation to a retirement party on the day of?

Tom De Backer

Top Answerer

Say you're very sorry you can't be there; you really wanted to, but something private has come up that requires your attention. People may sense that it's an excuse, but they will also pick up on the fact that you made the effort to politely decline by offering a white lie instead of bluntly refusing. That's kindness, which is always appreciated.

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