Q&A for How to Put Your Arm Around a Girl

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Is it OK to put your arm around a girl on the first date?

Eddy Baller
Dating Coach
Eddy Baller is a men’s dating coach and founder of Conquer and Win, a Vancouver-based service that helps men break free from loneliness and meet the women they truly want. Since 2011, he has coached men to overcome approach anxiety, spark real attraction, and build meaningful relationships—without relying on dating apps, gimmicks, or luck. Through both online sessions and in-person coaching, Eddy gives live feedback as clients meet women in everyday places, making confidence feel natural and conversations effortless. His mission is simple: to help men get into meaningful, long-term relationships.

Eddy Baller

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

That's just going to be pure initiative. It could be the first, the second, or the third date — it doesn't matter. You get to play by ear, but just do it right. Don't look for too many signs: the big mistake guys make is always looking for signs that a girl likes them, instead of taking the initiative of doing something. If you want to put her arm around her, just do it. Then if she's not comfortable with that, she will lean away or say something about it, and that's fine but the only way to find out is by doing it.

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Question

My girlfriend and friends want me to do this, but I get nervous! I feel like I have to do it tomorrow, though.

Community Answer

Being nervous is understandable and normal. However, if you already know she wants you to put your arm around her, try to let that ease your fear a little. At least you know that she is looking forward to it, and that's awesome. If you feel ready to do it tomorrow, go for it! However, you don't have to if you aren't ready. Don't feel pressured!

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Question

How do I put my arm around a girl on the Ferris wheel?

Caitlin Trainor

Community Answer

Make sure she is comfortable and having fun. Look for some other signals. If she’s touching you or if she’s sitting extra close she might be dropping hints. Casually reach your arm around her. But make sure to stop if she doesn’t like it.

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Question

How do I get my boyfriend to put his arm around me?

Community Answer

Asking him directly is the best way to do it. Or if you're feeling bold, just reach for his arm and drape it over your shoulder.

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Question

What if the boy is shorter than me? How can he put his arm around me?

Community Answer

If you are sitting, just slouch a little so he can reach. For standing, he can just drape his arm across your waist.

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Question

I’m a girl, and I really want my boyfriend to put his arm around me, but I'm scared. I feel bad because he’s tried before, and I came up with an excuse to get up. I feel ready now. What should I do?

Community Answer

No harm done. Just smile at him and sit very close to him. He'll get the message.

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