Q&A for How to Show Support to a Transgender Family Member

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My little brother is transgender and becoming a girl. I love her, but I don't want to have a sister! I'm a boy and I've always wanted a brother. How do I be supportive?

Community Answer

You need to understand that she is still the same person she was before her transition. She did not change in a fundamental way, she is just becoming on the outside who she always was on the inside. She can still talk about things with you, if she played sports with you before, she'll still be able to do that. Also, try to remember that this transition is harder on her than it is on you.

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Question

I am a HUGE LGBT supporter, but I keep thinking a celebrity I have a crush on is trans. He's not, because he confirmed it, but I still cant help but wonder about it. How can I stop thinking about it?

Community Answer

Remind yourself that someone's gender identity is none of your business. Also, ask yourself why you care. Maybe he's trans, maybe he isn't. Does this really have any effect on your life?

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My dad recently came out as transgender, and I recently came out too! (Also as transgender!) However, I have trouble talking to him about it, what should I do?

Community Answer

If you really can't talk to him, don't force it. Let the topic come up naturally to avoid any awkward situations. If it becomes really important, you will feel the need to tell him and it may just come out naturally anyway! Likely you are both feeling the same way, so just be open and honest.

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Question

I came out as transgender a few months ago to my mother, sadly she didn’t take it well, and I want to know, is she transphobic/homophobic (I am pansexual) because she doesn’t support me?

Community Answer

Yes, if she will not support you because you are transgender and pansexual, then she is transphobic and homophobic. I'm sorry you're going through this. If possible, look for support from friends, other family members, and, if you're in school, teachers, counselors, or other adults you trust there. Also, keep in mind that sometimes parents who do not take the news well at first eventually come around to the idea and learn to be supportive.

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My older brother just came out as transgender and refers now as a woman. But I've always saw her as a man, and I'm feeling so lost and alone. How do I deal with this ?

Tom De Backer

Top Answerer

Trust that it will settle down in time. It may feel rough and difficult now, but it will smooth out and soften in a few days, or weeks. Let her know you support her, through thick and thin, and that this in no way affects your love for her. Family sticks together.

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I'm one of the most conservative people in my family, but I'm also trans. I'm unsure how to cope with peoples doubts when I come out.

Lia Wengert

Community Answer

Just remember that the world can tell you how to act and how to live, but you are the one in charge of your life, and other people's opinions should have no effect on how you view yourself. Be confident and do what makes you happy.

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My older brother just came out as transgender and refers now as a woman but I've always seen her as a man and I'm feeling so lost and alone because I'm the only one who knows, how do I deal with this?

Jen Bradley

Community Answer

It's perfectly normal to struggle to accept this at first, and just knowing that you're not the only one who has ever felt like this may help. The next step would be to encourage your brother to also come out to your parents - I wouldn't advise telling them yourself for him as it sounds like he's put a lot of trust in you. I can almost 100% guarantee that this feeling of uncertainty and confusion will pass over time.

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