Q&A for How to Socialize, Be Funny and Make Friends

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  • Question
    How do you mingle with a new friend?
    Ashley Pritchard, MA
    School Counselor
    Ashley Pritchard is an Academic and School Counselor at Delaware Valley Regional High School in Frenchtown, New Jersey. Ashley has over 3 years of high school, college, and career counseling experience. She has an MA in School Counseling with a specialization in Mental Health from Caldwell University and is certified as an Independent Education Consultant through the University of California, Irvine.
    School Counselor
    Expert Answer
    Ask them about what they're interested in, or what they do in their spare time. It's possible the two of you share a similar interest and you just haven't discovered it yet. Once you find something you have in common with your friend, it will be a lot easier to get along.
  • Question
    I tried to be funny, but the more I get funny, the more the jokes feel boring. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    Remember it's not all about being funny. The best thing is to find what your friend laughs at the most and practice at it. It's okay to talk about serious things sometimes too.
  • Question
    How do I become popular when I am shy?
    Community Answer
    Being "popular" isn't the only way to make new friends and people to like you. People will like you because of who you are, so just show them your true self and the right people will like you and will be interested in you. Many people are shy, and it is perfectly ok to be so. Try to get out of your comfort zone by gradually talking more than you usually do. The more you talk to people, the more comfortable you will become. Socializing is a skill like any other.
  • Question
    What if I can't find anything to love myself for? I just generally hate myself and this stops me from making friends.
    Community Answer
    You are your own judge, the most severe criticizer of all. Think positively. A single thought of hate to yourself eventually piles up if you don't counter it with something good. Compliment yourself. Learn to love others and through that, yourself.
  • Question
    What do I do if a group of people I want to be friends with invited me to do something I don't like?
    Community Answer
    It depends on what the activity is. If it's something like ice skating, then you should take a chance and go because it may end up being more fun than you thought it would be. But if it's an activity that you feel unsafe doing, then don't do it.
  • Question
    How can I socialize with people that don't like me very much?
    Community Answer
    Don't waste your time on people that you don't like or that don't like you. They are lost causes. Find new friends instead of trying to mould people that don't like you into something they're not.
  • Question
    How can I gain someone's attention without sounding too desperate?
    Community Answer
    You can start by saying hi and asking how they are doing. Pay attention to them by asking questions and giving suggestions from their leads.
  • Question
    Do I need to date in order to be popular?
    Community Answer
    No, of course not! No one should need to rely on someone else in order to be popular. It is you that counts.
  • Question
    What can I say/do if I want to talk to someone but don't know what to talk about?
    Community Answer
    Ask questions about them. People like to talk about themselves and their interests so ask things about their daily life or hobbies.
  • Question
    How do I overcome my shyness and quietness?
    Community Answer
    Spend more time around people you love, especially younger kids and older people. Practice listening carefully to them and learning how to have a friendly conversation. Use frequent compliments and ask people about themselves--people love to talk to people who are interested in them. Once you see how much people enjoy your company, you will be more outgoing.
  • Question
    I am boring. How can I be funny?
    Community Answer
    Start off just being a nice person who gets on with everyone generally. Do good deeds to people, be kind to all people, smile and be a happy person. Remember that not everyone was born to be a 'class clown', or rather is born naturally as a person who is funny and says the right things at the right time. However, everyone can try to be a nice and happy person, and you will be liked for being so. The main message is, you are free to crack a few jokes, be silly with your friends and let loose sometimes, but you should be aware that if your friends do not like you for who you are, then they are not your real friends. Stick around people who respect you for who you are and who do not classify you as boring. Everyone is special in their own way!
  • Question
    How can I stop underestimating and blaming myself for everything?
    Community Answer
    Appreciate every small thing you do for yourself. It might be a small thing for you, but other people could never even imagine themselves doing what you did. Every day you wake up is an accomplishment. Thank God everyday and you'll start feeling better.
  • Question
    How do I listen to somebody and then show support?
    Community Answer
    You don't always have to agree with what another person or person's beliefs. Maybe if it is a person you hang out with and they say something like: "I don't like this certain boss for whatever reason", then don't be afraid to speak your own opinion politely in return. If they disagree, that's perfectly okay, it's a conversation, not a contest of who is more accurate.
  • Question
    How do I socialize with people that I don't like?
    Community Answer
    Focus on their good qualities and try to be friends with them. Don't antagonize them or talk poorly about them.
  • Question
    How can I make friends with someone who has another close friend?
    Community Answer
    Try to become friends with both of them, even if you prefer one over the other. Try not to be jealous of the other friend and be patient, it takes time to become close friends with someone.
  • Question
    I want to be humble but my anger spoils everything. What can I do?
    Community Answer
    Try to think about positive/happy things. Come up with a physical outlet for your anger - maybe martial arts or just going for a run to let off steam. If someone makes you angry, just walk away from them.
  • Question
    What if people don't appreciate me and cuss me openly?
    Community Answer
    Don't waste your time on people like that. Find some new people who can appreciate or at least respect you. You can't make everyone like you, but some people will.
  • Question
    What do I do if the friend that I trust the most,and trust me the most starts being rude to me and ignoring me. Is it my fault?
    Community Answer
    You should talk to them and see if you have done something wrong to make them like that. It is likely nobody is actually at fault, and talking things out can be helpful.
  • Question
    What do I do if nobody is interested in being my friend?
    Community Answer
    Look in other places. Get involved in an activity you love. It's much easier to talk to people that you already share a common interest with. Ask them about other interests they have. Every response gives you more information on what to ask them next. Share common interests, and talk about what you have in common, what you like, etc. If they just moved to your area, what made them move, do they like their new home, job, etc? All new comments give you something new to ask about and share. Chances are good they would like to make a new friend too.
  • Question
    How do I respond to someone who's insulting me?
    Community Answer
    They are most likely feeling bad about themselves or aren't in a good mood. Don't fight back with more insults. Instead, give them a compliment. This might give them more confidence and they will be nicer to you.
  • Question
    How do I know if someone likes me?
    Community Answer
    Someone may like you if they are kind to you, invite you to hang out and go out of their way to do nice things for you.
  • Question
    My friend is always with another friend. When I try to hang out with her, she tells me to go away. I feel like she doesn't want to be friends anymore. What should I do?
    Katie_05
    Community Answer
    It's good to have more than one friend. Maybe your friend just needs some time away from you and time to get to know others, which is perfectly normal. Why don't you do the same?
  • Question
    How do I become more talkative?
    Community Answer
    Practice being more talkative around your close friends and family members. Talk about your interests and things that you are passionate about. Also, give them opportunities to talk about themselves, so you all learn something. Slowly, you can try to talk to new people.
  • Question
    How can I make friends with everyone if they hate my true personality? Should I act like someone else?
    Community Answer
    No! Be yourself, always, no matter what anyone else thinks. There's virtually no way "everyone" hates your personality. People are probably just trying to look cool. Don’t let them get to you, and continue showing off your amazing personality. However, if you are getting bullied, that is another issue. If this is happening, you need to tell a trusted adult right away. You are not alone.
  • Question
    What are some ways to make friends if you are new to the area and don't speak the language?
    Community Answer
    If you don't speak the language spoken at your school, try to be patient and wait for others to come to you. I'm sure there are many nice people in your school, and when they do talk to you, be kind and smile, and try your best to socialize with them.
  • Question
    How can I make friends with people if I only see them at school or online?
    Community Answer
    If you only see them at school, try joining some after school clubs or activities with them, or invite them to your house. If the problem is that your parents don't allow you having friends over, convince your parents by telling them you're working on schoolwork together.
  • Question
    How can I do this if I am painfully shy and feel like people don't want to be around me?
    Community Answer
    Be confident and try not to worry about what people think. More times than not people have the same fears as you so be yourself and relax.
  • Question
    If I'm shy, how do I become friends with a group of people who have known each other for years?
    Community Answer
    Find one person in the crowd to socialize with, and target them. By focusing on one person, you can befriend them easier and reduce the stress of talking to multiple people at once. If you become good enough friends, they can introduce you to the others, and eventually you'll be mixed into the group.
  • Question
    What should I talk about to be social and funny?
    Community Answer
    First of all don’t pressure yourself with the need to be funny. To be social, you have to be open to the world. No one talks with the person who’s always deep immersed in mobile or oddly serious. Be charming, talk about general topics, see what’s in common between you and others and the right people will love you!
  • Question
    Are there other ways? I have social anxiety and I am always sad and lonely. What do I do?
    Community Answer
    Try to talk to people one-on-one. Just have short conversations. Say "Hi, how's it going," talk for a minute, and move on. Gradually build up to longer conversations. I'd also recommend that you talk to a counselor or a mental health professional about your social anxiety and your sadness. You could use some support and they'd probably have a lot more tips for you.
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