Q&A for How to Stop Speaking So Loudly

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  • Question
    Could my dad's loud voice have anything to do with why I'm so loud?
    Community Answer
    Yes. Your parents' speaking voices can definitely influence how your own speaking voice develops, so if your dad is loud, that could easily explain why your voice might be louder too.
  • Question
    Most of my friends and family say I enjoy yelling, but when I try to stop, they say I'm too quiet. What should I do?
    Ameena Asif
    Community Answer
    Dont yell and speak gently. Have a conversation. Extend it. Joke around. Show you are interesting.
  • Question
    I'm known as the loud, annoying person in my group. What can I do to change this stereotype?
    Community Answer
    Don't repeat anything and speak in a gentle manner, and not too loudly, and don't interrupt.
  • Question
    My friends think I talk too loudly--what should I do?
    Community Answer
    If more than one person has told you this, it's probably true. Practice your speaking voice when you're alone. Speak quietly and softly. Although it may seem too quiet to you, it is probably a normal volume for most people.
  • Question
    How loud should we talk?
    Community Answer
    It depends on your surroundings. If you're in a library, be very quiet. If you're in class, it depends on the volume allowed. If you're in recess, you can be loud, but don't scream.
  • Question
    Why do I talk so loudly? I don't see myself as a loud speaker, but on a sleepover, someone confronted me and said I speak too loudly.
    Community Answer
    Do your parents or anyone else in your family speak loudly? Maybe that is why you do too.
  • Question
    What if my friends think I laugh too loudly?
    Community Answer
    Pay attention to how you laugh and try to be less obnoxious, try to relax your lungs and throat.
  • Question
    Is there an app that I can use to control the volume of my voice over the phone?
    Community Answer
    There isn't an app for that as of now, but you could try suggesting that the person you're calling turn down the volume of their phone before beginning your conversation.
  • Question
    My grandchild has a really loud voice which, when she raises it with her young children, is unbearable. How do I handle this and still accept her the way she is?
    Community Answer
    Write her a letter or tell her your thoughts in person. Try to make her understand that you don't hate her, but just trying to fix some problems that are bothering you.
  • Question
    My stepdad is always telling me to lower my voice. How can I tell him this is making me mad?
    Community Answer
    Try writing him a letter. This will enable you to better articulate your thoughts.
  • Question
    Is it wrong to speak loudly?
    Community Answer
    It depends on the situation. Speaking loudly is not incorrect, unjust, dishonest or immoral. At most, it is undesirable.
  • Question
    Many of my family members, friends and colleagues say that I speak very fast and loud. What should I do to reduce my tone and talk slower?
    Community Answer
    It's hard to change habits developed since childhood. Some self-therapy approaches can be: 1) Open your mouth more and exaggerate your speech movements slightly, which will force you to slow your mouth and lip muscle movement. 2) Record yourself speaking with others so that you can compare the difference in your speech and theirs. 3) Commit to change. Observe your speech during the day, say, every hour, to self-assess. For professional help, see an ENT (ear, nose, throat specialist), as you may have a physical reason you are speaking loudly and fast.
  • Question
    Should I yell when someone talks loudly?
    Community Answer
    No, you shouldn't. That would be rude.
  • Question
    How do I stop speaking so loudly when it is difficult to understand me when I speak quietly?
    Community Answer
    Read part two of this article to learn how to speak pleasantly. In private, try reading from a book into a recording device. Review the recording to find enunciation issues and variances in volume. Even if you never listen to the recordings, this practice may help improve your elocution. You can also buy an inexpensive decibel meter. Try it on a friend who you know speaks at an acceptable volume, then use it while practicing. Perhaps you have unconscious shifts in volume or tend to slide upward over time. If so, observation bias may prevent you from measuring those changes, but watching the meter could help you train yourself to maintain a more consistent volume.
  • Question
    When I get too hyped up my voice gets loud. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    To some extent, this is no big deal, it's just one of those things that makes you you. But if you find yourself doing this in places where it's not appropriate, really try to work on noticing your volume and moderating it as quickly as possible. Ask your friends and family members to help by pointing it out to you if you don't notice (promise them you won't take offense).
  • Question
    What do I do if everyone says I speak too loud?
    Community Answer
    Follow the steps in the article, especially Method 3 to determine the source. Consider visiting an audiologist to have your hearing tested.
  • Question
    Although my job requires that I speak loud enough, it appears I speak loud to everyone, but paying attention to this fact affects my "flow". What should I do?
    Community Answer
    Go with the "flow." Practice speaking more quietly to everyone/situation. If your job requires others to hear you, don't worry, they will. As long as you are not whispering or mumbling, it will be up to them to catch what you are saying.
  • Question
    How do I train to speak softly?
    Community Answer
    Practice talking at a lower volume to train your voice. This may take a little bit of time, and it may help you to practice speaking a little higher than a whisper. Try doing a few breathing exercises at slow rates too.
  • Question
    Why shouldn't I be loud when speaking?
    Community Answer
    Being too loud when speaking gives people the sense that you are trying to control the conversation, and that you want to be heard more than you want to hear them. This is not to say that this is actually what is happening, it is about the perception of others around you. To counteract this impression, just lower your volume when speaking, and be sure to make it clear that you're listening to what the other person is saying.
  • Question
    How can I be more calm and quiet when my parents are usually loud and outgoing?
    Community Answer
    There's really no perfect solution, but you need to have self control. If you don't want to be loud, play a game with yourself and try to act like you're a calm, confident woman/man. If you are calm on the inside, you will be calm on the outside.
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