Q&A for How to Tell if Your Best Friend Is a Lesbian

Most people are curious about themselves and how they relate and compare to others. Therefore, it is understandable to want to have an idea of the sexuality of important people in your life. And yes, it is always better to ask than to make assumptions.

Instead of saying that you "know," say that you were wondering about it instead. Never assume you know unless the person has told you herself. Try saying something like, "I've noticed you've been showing a lot of support to the LGBT community. That's really cool!" This will show her you aren't homophobic and should open up a conversation. When she is ready, she will come out to you. Respect her and her sexuality.

You don't have to tell her directly; just subtly hint to her using the methods above. When she starts to get the idea that you like her, make it more obvious. If she asks, tell her the truth.

There is a possibility that she is just a nice friend, but it may also be that she likes you. If the former is true, then she may get offended if you ask directly if she likes you. One thing you could do is offer to set her up with someone and see how she reacts, or you could ask your other friend to ask her and pretend like she's just curious.

If your gut is telling you she's hinting at real feelings, you're probably right. The important thing is that the "jokes" are making you uncomfortable. Just tell her. Don't say anything disparaging like "Ew, that's gross," just ask her to knock it off with the inappropriate stuff.

No. Many friends touch each other regularly in a friendly manner so doing that does not signify that she is a lesbian.

The best you can do is support her. You should not force her to tell her parents, even if you think she should.

You don't do anything, really. You know who you are and that is really all that matters.

I would suggest telling her that you are indeed a lesbian, but you are not attracted to her. I told my best friend was that she was a beautiful person, but not exactly my type.

This could mean you are bisexual, or bicurious. Explore your options. Do some research. Know that you don't have to fit under a certain label!

Probably. Try asking her directly about it. If she says yes and you don't feel the same, make sure to let her down gently.

It depends how close you two are. If she didn't do it in a sexual way, she probably didn't mean it in that way. Some girls are more comfortable showing their bodies than others. It depends on how they were raised. Unless you have other reasons to think this, it's probably not true.

Subliminally tell your friends, like occasionally complimenting women in a way men would or just go full out and tell them. If they are your friends, they will easily accept you.

Figure out your feelings, who do you like more? If it is the girl, tell her, ask if she feels the same, and break up with your boyfriend if she does. If you're really happy with your boyfriend, stay with him and keep your friend as a friend only. Whatever you do, be mindful of other people's feelings so you don't hurt anybody.

You could just keep it between yourselves. She can decide to come out to her parents if/when she's comfortable.

It's always tricky, how to find this out. You could of course just ask her; "Hey, you like me a lot don't you?" (with a smile). Make sure she feels comfortable, not attacked or made fun of. You're friends, after all. Make sure you know what you feel yourself, and that she knows it, too. Try some flirting techniques, like holding a hug slightly longer, or touching a few times more often. Give her looks, see how she responds. Kissing is also a good way to find out. If it's a small, quick hello kiss that you give to everyone, or if it lasts a little longer, that's a good sign.

If you're already friends, she may touch you a lot (ex. hugging, leaning on you, sitting on your lap), not talk to you about her crushes, or zone out a lot when you are talking to her. If you don't know her, she may ask your friends about you, stare at you, or try to talk to you.

The only sure sign is her saying, "I'm a lesbian" or, "I'm gay." Otherwise you are just guessing.

That seems like a sign that she'd like to go out with you. She's testing the waters. Go for it!

Try coming out to her. Say: "I think that I may like girls sometimes." If you are compassionate and make eye contact with her, she may just come out to you too!

Women like comparing themselves to other woman. Thinking that someone (or a certain trait of theirs, such as hair) looks pretty does not mean that you are sexually attracted to them. You are simply acknowledging their beauty, and perhaps wishing that you had it too. Your wife or girlfriend is likely doing something similar.

Just express your feelings. If she starts to feel uncomfortable, change the topic.

Just accept who you are. Nothing is wrong with being a lesbian, it's how you were born and who you were meant to be. Experiment, and see where you fall on the spectrum. If you still enjoy being with men, you could be bisexual, which is equally acceptable.

Maybe she's bisexual. Maybe she's gay. Maybe she's joking. I suggest asking her yourself.

It's really up to her to sort out her feelings and come to a decision. I would give her some space (and perhaps a time limit) to really think it through. Don't try to convince her of anything. Take yourself out of the equation for the time being. If she decides to stay with her husband, you'll have to figure out if you guys can maintain the friendship and keep it STRICTLY platonic. You don't want to be someone's side piece/mistress and you don't want to ruin someone's marriage unless it's absolutely necessary. Tread lightly.

Be around her, support her, hug her a lot, and whisper "I love you" when the time seems right. Be aware that she may take this to mean friendship love, so tread with care and if she doesn't reciprocate, don't be angry or upset.

Naked women are divine works of art. I think that, objectively, a naked woman is always nicer to look at than a naked man, and I think that both women and men would agree. So no, just looking up naked women does not mean you're lesbian. But it does if you want it to. It's OK to be lesbian, in fact, it's great that you're thinking about this, instead of just assuming you're this or that. Think of what arouses you, what you dream of, and if you like women, then in spite of being afraid what others might say, go ahead and like women. It's OK, it's natural, and it's beautiful.

Maybe, or maybe she just doesn't like any of the guys in your area/school/whatever. Also, some bisexual people prefer one gender to the other. If she says she's bisexual, there's no reason to doubt her.

It sounds like she does. Putting her hand on your thigh is not normal, nor considered normal "friends" behavior. And if she told you that you're "cute", that is a huge sign she wants to be more than friends. You'll need to decide how you feel about this and let her know if you're uncomfortable and want her to stop.

It sounds like it could be possible. The only way to know for sure is to ask her. If she likes you and you're not interested, try to let her down gently, and if you ask her and she seems hesitant or uncomfortable talking about it, don't force the issue.