Q&A for How to Tell if Your Guy Friend Sees You As Just "One of the Guys"

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As a girl, how can I tell if my crush who is a guy sees me as "one of the guys" or just as "one of his good friends"?

Laura Bilotta
Dating Coach & Matchmaker
Laura Bilotta is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker, and the Founder of Single in the City, her dating and relationship coaching service based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. With over 18 years of experience, she focuses on helping singles date more intentionally, encouraging them to let go of negative patterns so that they can attract the love that they deserve. Her experience, skills, and insights have led to thousands of successfully united over 65,000 singles through events and one-on-one matchmaking coaching sessions. She has been the host of The Dating and Relationship Show on Global News Radio 640 Toronto (AM640) for 6 years and is known as The Hookup Queen of Clubhouse; her popular singles club, Single in the City, has over 95.5K members who regularly join in weekly dating and relationship-focused rooms.

Laura Bilotta

Dating Coach & Matchmaker

Expert Answer

When you hang out, pay attention to how he treats you. If he's overly polite, compliments you, or makes excuses get closer to you, he's probably interested. On the other hand, if you only hang out in groups and he talks to you like he talks to his other bros, he may just see you as a friend.

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We were very close for 2 years, then suddenly he had a girlfriend (without telling me). But now we still chat all the time. We don't talk in front of others. It seems like a "scandal." What do I do?

Community Answer

Talk to him about this. Tell him you want to know how he sees you, whether he has any romantic interest in you or not, etc. Mention that you think it's odd that he won't talk to you around other people (because it is). It sounds like there's possibility he's just stringing you along, or he likes you but he's not sure if he wants to break up with his girlfriend. Talk to him and ask him to be honest with you.

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Question

The guy that I'm crushing on calls me "homie" and "fam". We talk and Face Time every day. I really like him, but am scared to ask if he likes me too. What should I do?

Community Answer

Play it cool. Maybe you can find a way to casually bring up the topic of crushes and ask if he has anyone he's interested in right now. Chances are if he's talking to you that much, he probably likes you too.

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My crush initiates contact, gives me a special nickname, tells me he loves me, gave me a special nickname, and tells me we should meet up. But called me his cool bro yesterday. What does this mean?

Community Answer

This may mean that he doesn't want to show that he loves you in public yet. Or he may simply have been goofing around.

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We became friends because his brother is my best friend. We suddenly held hands while walking two months ago, then we kissed last week. He never opened up about anything. What should I do?

Community Answer

You should talk to him about it and also about your relationship, if you are planning to have one. Maybe even ask him out on a date.

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There is a guy I work with, and I have already told him that I like him. He has told me that we are just friends and that we will continue to be that way, but he flirts with me!

Community Answer

Most likely he flirts with everyone, or he just likes the attention you give him. If this makes you uncomfortable, let him know. Say something like, "You've said you don't have any romantic interest in me, but you always flirt with me anyway. I'm getting mixed signals, and I'd prefer it if you'd stop flirting."

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I really like this guy and I feel he is in to me but there something stopping him from getting attached why? Then he said he wanted a friendship I was fine with that until he started giving me mixed signals. What should I do?

Community Answer

Guys can be confusing in relationships. For this, you have to trust your instincts If you want to check if he likes you, try brushing against him. If he flinches, he's probably not into you. If he leans in or laughs, he might be interested in you. Try to find the courage to ask him when the time seems right.

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My crush has called me 'bhengi' and 'pagal', he has shared all his secrets with me and is very comfortable to sit with me (not any other girl). We have made eye contact a lot of times. What does this mean?

Tom De Backer

Top Answerer

It could mean anything. Perhaps he loves you, perhaps he wants to be friends. Most likely, he has feelings for you, affection that might grow into love. You don't have to just passively sit and wait. Look inside yourself: do you think you could develop love for him over time? If yes, you could encourage him to go a little further. Perhaps kissing, if you would like that. But if you don't feel any love, you don't have to allow him to be so close to you. It's up to you.

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My crush is flirty with me and we make out every now and then. At school he likes hanging out alone, not in front of people. I told him I liked him but he's always put it off to the side. Why is that?

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Community Answer

He is probably embarrassed and likes you and is waiting for you ask to date him. Either that, or he is wanting you to know that he likes you. Ask him about it, take his response as evidence.

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