How to Spot Depression in Children

You might think that depression is something only adults get, but childhood depression is very real, and kids as young as preschool age have been diagnosed with it. [1] Childhood depression doesn’t just make it harder for kids to learn, play, and make friends – it also increases their risk for depression later in life. [2] If you think your child might be depressed, don’t ignore the issue. Watch their behavior and talk to them about their mood. If you’re still concerned, take the next steps towards getting help for them.

Method 1
Method 1 of 3:

Noticing Changes

  1. Depressed kids sometimes act sad, cry a lot, or complain about feeling down. They might also seem bored all the time or lose interest in their favorite activities. [3]
    • For instance, if your child often says things like, “Nothing is fun,” or “There’s no point in trying,” they may be depressed.
  2. A negative, self-critical attitude can signal depression. Pay attention if your child blames themselves for things that aren’t their fault or if they put themselves down all the time. [4]
    • For instance, don’t ignore comments like “I ruin everything” or “I’m the worst student at school.”
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  3. Depressed children often act out their feelings by talking back to adults, fighting with siblings or peers, and getting frustrated very easily. If your child’s temper has been getting the better of them lately, there may be a problem. [5]
    • Some depressed kids are unable to handle constructive criticism. Ask yourself whether your child gets angry or gives up completely after you correct them about something.
  4. If your child has started staying up until the wee hours of the morning, or if they’re having a hard time getting out of bed, they may be depressed. Weight changes, loss of appetite, or food cravings can also signal that something is wrong. [6]
  5. Pay attention if your child starts having problems at school, like low attendance or poor grades. Speak with your child’s teachers regularly so you can be alerted to any problems as soon as they arise.
  6. Ask yourself whether your child seems more withdrawn than usual. Depressed kids and teens often pull away from family members and start spending more time alone, or they may become reluctant to see their friends or go to school. [7]
  7. Does your child complain about headaches, stomachaches, or other mysterious physical symptoms that don’t seem to have a cause? Depression can cause aches and pains that don’t go away even with painkillers or other treatments. [8]
    • If your child talks about physical symptoms frequently, take them to the doctor to see if anything else is going on.
  8. If your child has gone through a traumatic experience, like a parental divorce or serious illness or injury, take note of how it affects them. Other events that may affect your children include abuse, the loss of a loved one, or other trauma.
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Method 2
Method 2 of 3:

Talking with Your Child

  1. Be patient and gentle with your child, even if you’re frustrated by their behavior. Don’t make a habit of scolding or criticizing them, or they won’t want to open up to you. Show them that you care about them and want to listen to them. [9]
    • If you need to discipline your child, don’t do it out of anger. Stay calm and make sure your child understands why the discipline is happening.
    • Build trust by listening to your child when they talk to you. Take their feelings and concerns seriously.
  2. During an opportune moment, ask your child if they want to talk about anything. Bring up any concerning symptoms you’ve noticed. [10]
    • For instance, you could say, “What’s been on your mind lately, Elise? I’ve noticed you don’t come out of your room much these days. Is everything OK?”
    • Choose a time when you and your child are not busy or distracted.
    • Many kids just need a little prompting to start talking, but if your child clams up, don’t push them to open up to you. Try again another time.
  3. Whatever your child tells you, give them your full attention. Don’t interrupt. If your child seems to be having a hard time expressing themselves, ask questions to help them find the words they need, but don’t put words in their mouth. [11]
    • For instance, if your son is having problems making friends at school, you could say, “It sounds like you’re feeling bad about yourself because the other kids don’t ask you to play with them. Is that right?”
  4. Your child may not know how to identify and express their feelings, especially if they’re young. They may also feel embarrassed to talk about their problems. Pay attention to their body language and the things they’re not saying in addition to what they’re telling you. [12]
    • For instance, if your daughter squirms, avoid eye contact, and folds her arms while telling you that nothing is wrong, she may not be telling the truth. Try asking a few gentle questions to help her open up.
  5. Make a habit of talking to your child every day. Learn what their life is like – who they spend time with, how they feel about school, and what their hopes and worries are. When you’re in tune with your child, you’ll notice more quickly when something is off.
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Method 3
Method 3 of 3:

Taking the Next Steps

  1. Don’t try to diagnose your child with depression yourself. Even if they’re showing some of the symptoms of depression, they may not actually be depressed. If you’re still worried, stay calm and contact your child’s pediatrician for an evaluation. [13]
    • If your child has been experiencing symptoms for less than two weeks, they may just be having normal mood swings. As long as your child doesn’t seem to be in crisis, wait and see if the symptoms last past the two-week mark.
  2. Talk to other family members, your child’s teachers, and any other adults who interact with your child often. Ask them whether they’ve noticed your child behaving differently or having mood problems. [14]
  3. Take your child to their pediatrician for a checkup. Tell the doctor about the symptoms you’ve noticed, and ask them to rule out any physical causes. If your child is physically healthy, the doctor will probably refer you to a pediatric mental health specialist for an evaluation. [15]
  4. Discuss your child’s treatment options with their doctor, psychologist, or psychiatrist. If they recommend cognitive behavior therapy, make your child an appointment with a therapist and stay up-to-date on their progress. If your child needs medicine, make sure they take it as directed. [16]
    • Therapy may involve you and your child, or over time, you child may meet with the therapist on their own.
    • Cognitive behavior therapy is most often recommended to treat depression in kids and teens. Medication is usually prescribed only in moderate or severe cases.
    • Help your child find a therapist they’re comfortable with. You may have to try more than one before you find someone who is a good fit.
  5. Help your child stay healthy by giving them nutritious foods and encouraging them to exercise. Boost their spirits by doing fun things together, and make sure they have time to see their friends and work on their hobbies. [17]
    • For instance, you could watch movies with your child or spend an afternoon hiking at your favorite park.
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      Warnings

      • If your child is showing any self-destructive behavior or talking about suicide, seek immediate professional help and do not leave your child alone for any period of time.
        • One way to seek immediate professional help is through your country's suicide prevention hotline. For example, in the U.S., you can contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988. You can also visit their website at https://988lifeline.org/ for additional resources. In Canada, you can visit this website to take quick action, as well as contact the Suicide Crisis Helpline (988) for help.
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      References

      1. ↑ http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/29/magazine/29preschool-t.html
      2. ↑ http://www.webmd.com/depression/features/depression-often-starts-in-childhood#1
      3. ↑ https://www.healthychildren.org/English/health-issues/conditions/emotional-problems/Pages/Childhood-Depression-What-Parents-Can-Do-To-Help.aspx
      4. ↑ http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/depression_children.html
      5. ↑ http://www.parenting.com/article/6-things-to-know-about-child-depression
      6. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/teen-depression/symptoms-causes/dxc-20164556
      7. ↑ https://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mental-health/parents-and-young-people/young-people/depression-in-young-people
      8. ↑ https://www.ascd.org/el/articles/responding-to-a-students-depression
      9. ↑ http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/mentalhealth/Pages/talkingtochildren.aspx
      1. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/parents-guide-to-teen-depression.htm
      2. ↑ https://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/family-dynamics/communication-discipline/Pages/How-to-Communicate-with-a-Teenager.aspx
      3. ↑ https://www.healthyplace.com/parenting/depression/communicating-with-your-depressed-child/
      4. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/09/07/what-parents-need-to-know-about-childhood-depression/
      5. ↑ http://www.cnn.com/2016/10/07/health/recognizing-depression-anxiety-in-children/index.html
      6. ↑ http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/depression-children#1
      7. ↑ https://www.babycenter.com/0_depression-in-children_1388214.bc
      8. ↑ http://kidshealth.org/en/parents/understanding-depression.html#

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