How to Tell if Two People Are Secretly Dating

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Have you ever wondered why your friends seem so close lately? Or maybe you’re watching two co-workers become something that seems a little more than friendly. There are a lot of reasons why two people might not want to broadcast their relationship to the world, but if you're curious as to what's going on, check out these signs so you can tell if two people are secretly dating.

1

They make a lot of eye contact.

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    If you suspect that two people are secretly dating, pay attention to how often they look at each other. They’ll probably catch each others’ eye or glance at each other across the room when they’re near one another. [1]
    • You might also notice that they hold their gaze and smile when they notice the other person looking at them.
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2

They smile around each other.

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    If the two people you suspect are all of the sudden very smiley or laugh a lot, they might be dating each other. [2] This is especially true if they weren’t very smiley people in the first place, and you notice that their behavior changes. [3]
3

They get fidgety.

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    This is probably because they’re feeling a little bit excited or even anxious to see each other. Try watching one of them when the other person comes into the room —they might start moving a lot, even when they were perfectly still earlier.
    • They might also just be nervous because they’re dating in secret. It can be nerve-wracking to keep a secret from everyone you know, even if it’s a fun one like this.
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4

They fix their appearances around each other.

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    If you notice that your friend quickly combs their hair or fixes their makeup when the other person comes into the room, they might be secretly dating (or at least attracted to them). They might also smooth down their clothing or sit up a little straighter to fix their posture.
5

They go out of their way to touch each other.

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    Even when it’s not super convenient, if your friends are dating, they might find ways to get closer to each other for a slight amount of physical contact. Breaking the touch barrier means they’re comfortable with each other, so it could mean that they’re dating in secret. [4]
    • On the flip side, some people will get nervous that touches give them away, so they’ll make an extra effort not to touch the other person.
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6

They mirror each other’s body language.

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    When you mirror someone’s body language, you’re doing it subconsciously because you like that person. Take a look at your friends and how they interact—if you see them crossing their legs the same way or leaning on a wall in the same direction, they might be copying each other. [5]
    • People tend to do this without realizing it. If you point it out, your friends will probably have no idea what you’re talking about.
    Allan and Barbara Pease, Body Language Experts

    To tell if two people are secretly dating, watch their body language. Unconscious mirroring, seeking closeness, and subtle touches can reveal a deeper bond. Around each other, they may seem nervous or extra aware, trying to maintain a certain image. More than words, their silent interactions can speak volumes about their relationship.

7

They lean in close to each other.

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    Pay attention to how close your friends stand next to each other when they talk, or how close they lean in next to each other when they sit. [6] If it’s a little closer than you’d get to a friend, then they might be dating in secret. [7]
    • This is another one that your friends probably do without realizing it.
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8

They flirt with each other.

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    Or maybe they’ve been complimenting each other in a not very “friendly” way. If your two friends are flirting non-stop, it could be a sign that they like each other, or even that they’re already dating. [8]
    • If your friends are naturally flirty people, however, they might be trying to hide their relationship status by staying quiet or acting shy. If their behavior changes, it’s a sign there might be something going on.
9

They gravitate toward each other in groups.

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    Or, maybe they always happen to find open seats next to each other in the classroom or in meetings. Whatever the case is, you’ll spot your friends next to each other constantly, even if it’s inconvenient. [9]
    • On the flip side, if they’re working hard to keep their relationship secret, they might avoid each other more than usual. If they make an extra effort to stay away from each other now, they might just be dating.
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10

Their voices change pitch when they talk to each other.

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    When we like someone, our voices actually change pitch—you might notice that your friends actually sound different when they’re talking to each other versus when they’re talking to you. That’s because they’re attracted to each other, and they might be dating. [10]
    • Listen in when they greet each other, since that’s the time you’ll hear a change the most.
11

They hang out one-on-one way more.

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    This is probably a sign that they’re going out on dates together without anyone else. You can subtly inquire by asking something like, “So, what did you two get up to this weekend?”
    • If they want to keep their secret, they might just say they were doing something innocent, like grabbing food or seeing a movie.
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12

They hug each other goodbye.

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    If you notice that your friends seem a little too eager to hold each other when you’re all saying goodbye, it’s a sign that they might be dating secretly. And, if the hug goes on a little longer than a normal friend hug would, they might just have something more going on.

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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/let-their-words-do-the-talking/201607/5-nonverbal-clues-someone-is-interested-in-you
      2. ↑ Michelle Jacoby. Matchmaker & Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 7 September 2021.
      3. ↑ https://news.ku.edu/2015/02/12/just-time-valentines-day-research-defines-more-behaviors-reveal-romantic-attraction
      4. ↑ Michelle Jacoby. Matchmaker & Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 7 September 2021.
      5. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/let-their-words-do-the-talking/201607/5-nonverbal-clues-someone-is-interested-in-you
      6. ↑ Michelle Jacoby. Matchmaker & Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 7 September 2021.
      7. ↑ https://news.ku.edu/2015/02/12/just-time-valentines-day-research-defines-more-behaviors-reveal-romantic-attraction
      8. ↑ Michelle Jacoby. Matchmaker & Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 7 September 2021.
      9. ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a31247390/sexual-tension-signs/
      1. ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a31247390/sexual-tension-signs/

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