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How to recognize and safely leave your cultic church
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Religious cults are groups of people who adhere to a strict belief system and organize around a charismatic leader. Unlike a church, however, a religious cult is destructive and uses fear and manipulation to command its membership. But cults are good at hiding in plain sight, so how do you know whether an organization is a legitimate church or a cult? To tell you exactly how to spot a cult, we interviewed clinical psychologist Natalie Feinblatt for expert insight on the common signs of cults and how to rebuild your life after you’ve left one for good.
How to Identify a Cultic Church
- Cultic churches are religious communities typically led by one charismatic individual who encourages unquestioning loyalty, often for financial gain.
- A cult church may use intimidation to control its followers, punish or humiliate those who question or disobey their strict rules, and instill a fear of leaving the church.
- Cultic church followers may be isolated from loved ones and may be victims of mind control and brainwashing techniques to ensure conformity.
Steps
Section 1 of 3:
13 Signs That a Church Is Really a Cult
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The church leader has an overly charismatic and arrogant personality. Watch the leader of the church and examine their behavior. Determine if they are trying to spread their religion or are out for personal gain. Avoid churches that have arrogant, pompous, or angry leaders. [1] X Research source
- Personality types that tend toward cultish behaviors often come off as extremely likable and magnetic but are hyper-sensitive and manipulative at their core.
- If the leader of the church requires constant admiration, humiliates people in public, has a grandiose sense of self, or requires sexual acts from the church's membership, it's very likely that this person is a cult leader.
- They may also require total loyalty and punish members who question them or try to offer collaborative feedback.
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Followers treat the leader as if that person is God themselves. It may almost seem like the church exists to worship this individual rather than God, and the church’s websites and marketing pamphlets feature mostly pictures of the leader. [2] X Research source
- The name of the church and this person's name are inseparable, and the organization would likely disappear if something happened to the leader.
- Clinical psychologist Natalie Feinblatt names charismatic leaders with plenty of money and wealth as one of the biggest red flags when recognizing a cultic church.
- In cults, Feinblatt continues, “the person at the top has a kind of absolute ruling authority, which is rarely a healthy way to run an organization.” [3]
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Expert Source
Natalie Feinblatt, PsyD
Clinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 30 July 2021.
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The church uses intimidation and fear to control its followers. A cult often uses threats and fears to keep their membership in line. Threats could come in the form of a calamity sent by God or the threat of isolation from family and friends. [4] X Research source
- If the church uses intimidation and fear to get its members to follow the rules, it's a sign that the church is a cult.
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The church puts you through humiliating and degrading activities. You may be asked to stand in front of other members while being screamed at or otherwise humiliated. However, you’re asked not to react in any way. You can’t flinch, move, or fight back.
- This type of activity, asserts licensed psychologist Natalie Feinblatt, is designed to “brainwash you into being a completely stoic and placid individual such that you will put up with anything that happens from that point forward.” [5]
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Expert Source
Natalie Feinblatt, PsyD
Clinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 30 July 2021. - These activities are a type of brainwashing method, which Feinblatt describes as a way to “divorce you from your intuition and make you think that your way of responding is wrong, and the group's way of responding is right.” [6]
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Expert Source
Natalie Feinblatt, PsyD
Clinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 30 July 2021.
- This type of activity, asserts licensed psychologist Natalie Feinblatt, is designed to “brainwash you into being a completely stoic and placid individual such that you will put up with anything that happens from that point forward.” [5]
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Expert Source
Natalie Feinblatt, PsyD
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The church gives special benefits to a group of “superior” members. Many cults have a group of leaders who receive special benefits or don't have to abide by the same rules as other members. [7] X Research source
- Cults usually have a group of leaders whose main goal is to gain wealth, power, and influence.
- The church leader may also travel in an entourage of people they trust to obey and support them.
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The church has strict rules and guidelines. Cults thrive on the unquestioning obedience of their membership. Often, a cult's rules will be arbitrary, and many of them will benefit the leader or leadership of the cult. There are often harsh punishments for breaking the rules, including ex-communication or mandatory physical labor. [8] X Research source
- Many times, the cult's rules are pointless and exist only to ensure the allegiance of the members.
- Common cult rules include subservience to the leadership, being barred from talking to anyone outside of the cult, and drastically changing your lifestyle.
- Be particularly aware of "prosperity theology," which encourages paying dues to a church in the name of worship.
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The church attempts to control what and how you think. Thought control can be done through more subtle manipulation or overt mind control techniques. Things like hypnosis, group peer pressure, and mandatory isolation are common mind-control techniques that religious cults use to control their members. [9] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source
- Try to identify times that the church has made these things mandatory and avoid any church that employs these tactics.
- Avoid brainwashing by recognizing common hypnosis techniques including repetitive music and patterned-paced speaking that can put people into a trance.
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The church isolates you from friends and family. Cults use isolation so that they can manipulate you and prevent you from figuring out that the organization is a cult. Avoid churches requiring mandatory isolation or cutting ties with family and friends. [10] X Research source
- Typically, cults will draw you in first, and you'll find out about the mandatory isolation later.
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The church takes an “us vs. them” approach. Many cults will have an elitist doctrine that sees themselves as superior to those outside of the cult. Cults often convince members that they are an elite group of people born to save the world or change the course of human history. [11] X Research source
- This could also manifest in intolerance for others outside the cult.
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The church isn’t transparent about how it functions. If you ask questions about the group's rules and the church's leaders become defensive or angry, it may be a sign that you're in a cult. Real churches will have explanations for their rules or can point to some scripture or text that explains them.
- As psychology expert Natalie Feinblatt explains, “there is an amount of secrecy around the beliefs or inner workings of the organization.” [12]
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Expert Source
Natalie Feinblatt, PsyD
Clinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 30 July 2021. - Feinblatt uses the Catholic Church as an example, stating that, “whether or not you like the Catholic Church as an institution, if you want to find out everything they believe it's very easy to do so.” [13]
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Expert Source
Natalie Feinblatt, PsyD
Clinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 30 July 2021.
- As psychology expert Natalie Feinblatt explains, “there is an amount of secrecy around the beliefs or inner workings of the organization.” [12]
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Expert Source
Natalie Feinblatt, PsyD
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The church asks you to perform unwanted favors. If the church members or leadership consistently pressure you to do favors for them that are outside of the scope of the church, it's a sign that the church is a cult.
- These favors can cut into your time and could include things like picking things up from the store, physical labor, financial contributions, or sexual acts.
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The church promotes ideas of prophecy or mass suicide. Many cults will obsess over a fabricated prophecy that doesn't align with churches in the same religion or talk about mass suicide. [14] X Research source
- If the church preaches about scary, unavoidable prophecies or suicide, it is probably a cult.
- Usually, these prophecies will come from a human leader of the church and are not based on religious text.
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The church makes you feel afraid to leave. Cults will often have severe punishments in place for those who decide to leave the church. Common consequences could include a punishment directly from God or being prevented from talking to family and friends within the church. [15] X Research source
- You may be given the impression by church leaders that abandoning the church would be the same as abandoning God, as they see themselves as the only group fully following His will.
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Section 2 of 3:
What to Do After Realizing Your Church Is a Cult
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Read common criticism of the church. Seek out common criticisms of the church by searching news about the church online. Read opinions and experiences from past and current members of the church. [16] X Research source
- It may enlighten you to know how other people view the church and give you the details you need to know if it's a cult.
- If a church is a legitimate church, it will be able to hold up to criticism.
- If a church prevents you from reading critical literature, it's a sign that the church is a cult.
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Talk to family and friends outside of the church. Ask friends and family who aren't members of the church if they think that the church is a cult. Their opinions will be more unbiased than church members, and they may be able to give you a better objective view.
- If the church prevents you from talking or interacting with other people outside of the church, it's a sign that the church is a cult.
- You can say, “Hey, do you think this new church I'm going to is strange? I've been thinking that it might be a cult. What do you think?”
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Be honest with yourself. Think about the church's goals and how it treats its members. If you find something disturbing, wrong, or morally corrupt, it's a good sign that the church may be a cult.
- Churches exist to benefit the many, and if you don't feel like the church is doing that, it may be a cult.
- It may be harder to recognize if your church is a cult if you're currently a member of the church.
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Leave the cultic church. Keep your plans a secret and hide a bag with valuable items and a few changes of clothes. Find a place to stay at a shelter or with friends or family, and stop attending services or meetings. Document any interactions with group members after you leave, and don’t try to go back to rescue others. [17] X Research source
- If you feel that the cult has broken the law or is harassing you after you leave, talk to local law enforcement.
- Leaving a cult is very emotionally difficult because the leaders may have brainwashed you to believe that you’re evil or sinful if you abandon them. This is not true.
- Cults use manipulation tactics to get you to join and stay, and you are showing incredible strength by being able to protect yourself and walk away.
- If the cult has isolated you from your friends and family, reach out to them. While you may feel like they’re angry with you, they’re probably more worried than upset and will be happy to hear from you and help you get back on your feet.
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Seek help from a professional. As a psychologist that specializes in helping former cult members recover emotionally and rebuild their lives, Natalie Feinblatt recommends seeing a therapist or joining a support group where members “can come together to support one another [in] a peer support type of fashion.” [18] X Expert Source Natalie Feinblatt, PsyD
Clinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 30 July 2021.- If you can’t find a therapist that specializes in cults, Feinblatt recommends looking for “somebody who at least specializes in trauma…[and works] with people who've been in highly dysfunctional and abusive families or relationships, because those are fairly similar.” [19]
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Expert Source
Natalie Feinblatt, PsyD
Clinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 30 July 2021. - Feinblatt names the International Cultic Studies Association as another helpful resource, as this group organizes support groups for former cult members.
- If you can’t find a therapist that specializes in cults, Feinblatt recommends looking for “somebody who at least specializes in trauma…[and works] with people who've been in highly dysfunctional and abusive families or relationships, because those are fairly similar.” [19]
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Expert Source
Natalie Feinblatt, PsyD
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Section 3 of 3:
What’s the difference between a cult and a church?
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A cult may not be recognized by the government. If the government believes a church to be cultic or illegitimate, it will not give it a religious status. It may raise red flags for you (and others) if state officials discredit a church or refuse to recognize it officially. [20] X Research source
- However, it does take time for new religious groups or movements to be recognized by the state, and the government shouldn’t have the final say in what is or isn’t a religion or cult.
- For example, most people believe that Scientology is a cult. However, it is now officially recognized by the state with tax-exempt status.
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A cult leader may claim to be the only person with a direct line to god. Followers find themselves worshiping the cult leader as a holy being. In a real church or religion, however, you will worship a higher power.
- No legitimate priest or other ordained religious professional should claim to be the sole path to communication with those higher powers.
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A cult’s doctrine may deviate from religious texts. For example, a cult based around Christianity will make changes to the faith's commonly accepted ideas. Or, they may center their cult around things that have nothing to do with the Bible or other religious texts, like UFOs or racism. [21] X Research source
- For example, the traditional Christian definition of salvation involves Jesus Christ sacrificing himself on the cross to save humanity.
- In the New Age cult, however, salvation is defined as becoming one with the universe.
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Community Q&A
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QuestionI have a red flag. My adult daughter has taken her new church family as her only family. Her biological family is no longer part of her life. Doesn't sound right, does it?Community AnswerNo, removing followers from their outside relationships is classic cult behavior.
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QuestionA church which members consist of family and few friends. Established in 1970 and has not grown in members. 50 members max.Community AnswerYou can't be certain just based on the size of the church. Think of other factors, like whether the membership is exclusive and if you're allowed to speak to other people outside of the church. Do a search online to see if you can find any negative testimonials from ex-members of the church.
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QuestionIf a church wants you to convert people, is that a sign of a cult?Community AnswerNot necessarily, many religions instruct members to spread the word of God and recruit new members to the church. It can be a sign of a cult, though, so keep an eye out for other suspicious practices.
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Tips
- Cults often try to recruit people by looking “for people who are in transition periods of their lives,” says clinical psychologist Natalie Feinblatt. [22] X Expert Source Natalie Feinblatt, PsyD
Clinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 30 July 2021.Thanks - Be wary of questionable-looking religious organizations employment or college fairs, warns Feinblatt, or groups that try to deceptively tempt you with a free movie or gift. [23] X Expert Source Natalie Feinblatt, PsyD
Clinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 30 July 2021.Thanks
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References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/spycatcher/201208/dangerous-cult-leaders
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/spycatcher/201208/dangerous-cult-leaders
- ↑ Natalie Feinblatt, PsyD. Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 30 July 2021.
- ↑ http://www.decision-making-confidence.com/cult-tactics.html
- ↑ Natalie Feinblatt, PsyD. Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 30 July 2021.
- ↑ Natalie Feinblatt, PsyD. Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 30 July 2021.
- ↑ http://www.cbn.com/spirituallife/cbnteachingsheets/pat_perspective_cult.aspx?mobile=false
- ↑ http://cultresearch.org/help/characteristics-associated-with-cults/
- ↑ https://www.apa.org/monitor/nov02/cults.html
- ↑ https://www.nzherald.co.nz/lifestyle/eight-steps-to-mind-control-how-cults-suck-ordinary-people-in/JVANMWX7XTTXBC2AS2C3GN3SX4/
- ↑ http://www.decision-making-confidence.com/cult-tactics.html
- ↑ Natalie Feinblatt, PsyD. Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 30 July 2021.
- ↑ Natalie Feinblatt, PsyD. Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 30 July 2021.
- ↑ https://www.cbsnews.com/pictures/cults-dangerous-deadly-history/
- ↑ http://www.cbsnews.com/news/how-to-identify-a-cult-six-expert-tips/
- ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsjD2dre6QI&feature=youtu.be&t=1m31s
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/freedom-mind/202104/the-definitive-guide-helping-people-trapped-in-cult
- ↑ Natalie Feinblatt, PsyD. Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 30 July 2021.
- ↑ Natalie Feinblatt, PsyD. Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 30 July 2021.
- ↑ https://penntoday.upenn.edu/news/it-cult-or-new-religious-movement
- ↑ https://penntoday.upenn.edu/news/it-cult-or-new-religious-movement
- ↑ Natalie Feinblatt, PsyD. Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 30 July 2021.
- ↑ Natalie Feinblatt, PsyD. Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 30 July 2021.
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