How to Trust a Wife

Co-authored by Steven Hesky, PhD

Last Updated: May 25, 2024 References

Have you been hurt in the past? Do you want to know how to trust again? The truth is everything starts from within. If you don't love yourself, how can you love others? If you don't accept yourself, how can you accept others? If you don't forgive yourself, how can you forgive others? If you don't trust yourself, how can you trust others? It takes time to build trust in a relationship. It takes even more time when trust has been broken. It is not impossible to rebuild trust. If you and your wife have trust issues, here are some steps to help you rebuild trust in your wife again.

1

Trust yourself.

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Trust that you are in the right place, at the right time, and experience the right experience. Each experience teaches you to become a better person. If your wife cheated, lied, or betrayed you, trust yourself that you are a strong man. You are strong because you can handle the situation. All of the experiences in the past are your great teachers. Each lesson in life is to teach you to become the person you are today. ^{[1]
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Research source}

2

Trust life.

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^{[2]
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Research source} Life is about loving, living, learning, growing, and becoming who you are here to be—the best you can be. No matter how many challenges you are facing, trust yourself that you can overcome them. ^{[3]
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Research source} Lessons come to you because you need them. Trust in your own abilities to face challenges and solve problems that come. You have that power to create the world you want. When you don't trust life, you live in fears, doubts, and worries. As a result, you limit yourself to receive blessings that come your way. When you trust life, you know that you can survive in any difficult situation. Suffering does not last. Some relationships don't last either. Material things don't last. Your job you have today might not last. What would last forever? It is trust in life and trust in yourself that whatever comes your way, you are able to face it with love, strength, and courage. ^{[4]
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Research source}

3

Trust your wife.

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Give yourself a chance to trust her again. You can start doing it by asking her to do something for you in a small way. For example, ask her to call you or text you when you want her to. After she follows through by taking small actions, then, you can move to the next step by asking her to do a greater commitment. ^{[5]
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Research source}
- Trust really gets built over time; in fact, it's a byproduct of spending time together. ^{[6]
 X
 Expert Source
 
 Steven Hesky, PhD
 Licensed Clinical Psychologist
 
 Expert Interview. 2 September 2021.}

4

Be open and embrace life.

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When you are open to the new opportunity, you are more open to trust that life has so much to give you. Life is full of wonder. Explore something new that you have never experienced before. Take your time to get to know your wife. Be open to her ideas, listen to her needs. Go out on dates more often and fall in love with her again.

5

Be patient.

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^{[7]
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Research source} ^{[8]
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Expert Source

Steven Hesky, PhD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Expert Interview. 2 September 2021.} Be patient with yourself. Be patient with your wife. Work on trusting yourself first. ^{[9]
X
Research source} Then, rebuilding trust with your wife will fall into line.

6

Be present.

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If you have past hurts because someone or your wife broke the trust, it is important to practice being in the moment. Where are you now? Where do you want to go? Do you want to be with your wife? Do you want to rebuild trust? If your answer is "yes", it is important to let go of the past and be present with your feelings. Everyday is your new day and new beginning. Be here now with the your lovely wife whom you once fell in love. Start your new day with falling with her once again. Life is to live in the NOW. Breathe...Feel your heart beat. Treasure this precious moment NOW. ^{[10]
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Research source}
- It might help to visit a couple's counselor, who can help you work through your issues. ^{[11]
 X
 Expert Source
 
 Steven Hesky, PhD
 Licensed Clinical Psychologist
 
 Expert Interview. 2 September 2021.}

7

Forgive your wife.

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It is a healing. If your wife broke your trust in the past, it is very important for you to forgive her. Why? If you still hold on to your past hurt, guess who is hurting? It is you. If you are angry at your wife and holding on to that anger, who is hurting? It is you. If you make a mistake, forgive yourself. If your wife betrayed, lied, and cheated on you, forgive yourself for holding on to negative feelings toward her. In order for you to move forward, it is important to forgive her and forgive yourself. If there is another man involved, it is important to forgive that man too. Forgiveness will set you free from all negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions. As a result, you become a brave man with a big heart. That is a great man! You will be liberated by all the negativity, and be ready to take the next step. That is to trust again.

8

Be grateful.

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Get the most out of it. We learn fast when we face with challenge, disappointment, broken hearts, and hurt. Let your experiences be your best teachers. Without them, you would not have become who you are today. You become wiser and stronger. Most importantly, you become to trust yourself and trust life more. The more grateful you are, the more trust you have in your heart. The more you trust your heart, the more you trust others. ^{[12]
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Research source}

9

Celebrate life.

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Question

How do I get over trust issues with my wife?

Steven Hesky, PhD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Steven Hesky is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist with over 37 years of experience. He specializes in long-term psychotherapy with adults and adolescents. His training includes Freudian, Jungian, and Existential approaches to psychotherapy, hypnosis, family therapy, marriage counseling, and biofeedback. Dr. Hesky holds a BA in Philosophy from Lake Forest College and an MA and PhD in Existential Clinical Psychology from Duquesne University.

Steven Hesky, PhD

Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Expert Answer

Try to be patient—trust takes time to develop again. Mutual counseling may help in the meantime, so you can both understand what the real issues in your relationship are.

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Question

How do you fix a broken marriage after cheating?

Steven Hesky, PhD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Steven Hesky is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist with over 37 years of experience. He specializes in long-term psychotherapy with adults and adolescents. His training includes Freudian, Jungian, and Existential approaches to psychotherapy, hypnosis, family therapy, marriage counseling, and biofeedback. Dr. Hesky holds a BA in Philosophy from Lake Forest College and an MA and PhD in Existential Clinical Psychology from Duquesne University.

Steven Hesky, PhD

Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Expert Answer

Support and patience are key. The cheating individual should really stick by their partner as they go through whatever it is they have to go through in order to process and accommodate to everything.

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Tips

Take small steps and acknowledge each success along the way.

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Ask specifically for what you want. Ask your wife to commit in taking actions.

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It takes time to rebuild trust. It is important to be patient with yourself and with your wife.

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How to Trust a Wife

Steps

Trust yourself.

Trust life.

Trust your wife.

Be open and embrace life.

Be patient.

Be present.

Forgive your wife.

Be grateful.

Celebrate life.

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