Does something about your friend, partner, or family member feel off? Are you constantly questioning yourself when you’re around them? You’ve heard the term "narcissist" before, but they can’t possibly be narcissistic when they’re so shy and introverted...right? Actually, covert narcissists have the same traits as overt narcissists, only watered down. Check out our list of weird things covert narcissists do to get their way (and get tips on how to deal with them). But keep in mind that just because someone has narcissistic traits, it doesn’t necessarily mean they have clinical Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), and only a licensed therapist can diagnose NPD. [1]
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Mayo Clinic
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This article is based on an interview with our licensed professional counselor, Casey Lee, founder of Rooted Hearts Counseling LLC. Check out the full interview here.
Things You Should Know
- Narcissism is an umbrella term, and covert narcissists tend to be subtle in their actions, be more introverted, and have a superiority complex.
- A covert narcissist may make themselves appear grander, more powerful, and more confident to mask their insecurities.
- Looking good on the outside is often a covert narcissist’s main priority, even if they are passive-aggressive and emotionally abusive behind closed doors.
Steps
Expert Q&A
Video
Tips
- Remember that not everyone with narcissistic tendencies is a clinical narcissist, and that not everyone with clinical NPD is abusive. [16] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals Go to sourceThanks
- Keep in mind that many people don’t even realize they’re being narcissistic. With hard work, therapy, and/or medication, covert narcissistic behavior can be corrected, so don’t be afraid to speak up. [17] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals Go to sourceThanks
- Consider keeping a journal and documenting your friend or partner’s behavior. This way, you can feel grounded and validated in what you know over time. [18] X Trustworthy Source Cleveland Clinic Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals Go to sourceThanks
References
- ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20366662
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/making-the-whole-beautiful/202304/understanding-covert-narcissism
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/ambigamy/202002/how-humiliate-absolute-narcissist
- ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/covert-narcissism/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/here-there-and-everywhere/202112/how-handle-covert-narcissist-during-family-gatherings
- ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/covert-narcissism/
- ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20366662
- ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20366662
- ↑ https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/aug/01/not-all-narcissists-are-grandiose-the-vulnerable-type-can-be-just-as-dangerous
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/making-the-whole-beautiful/202304/understanding-covert-narcissism
- ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/covert-narcissism/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/guide-better-relationships/202004/narcissism-entitlement-hypocrisy-and-flattening-the-curve
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/guide-better-relationships/202004/narcissism-entitlement-hypocrisy-and-flattening-the-curve
- ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/covert-narcissism/
- ↑ https://www.simplypsychology.org/covert-narcissism.html
- ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20366662
- ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20366662
- ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/covert-narcissism/