What Do You Say When Someone Had a Bad Day?

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Kind messages to show support and brighten spirits
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It can be hard to know what to do when someone you care about says they’re having a bad day. How do you respond in a way that’ll support and reassure them? We talked with licensed clinical psychologists to bring you the best advice on how to cheer up and support your loved ones when they need it most. We’ll give you a spoiler: the best thing you can do is listen.

How to Respond When Someone Is Having a Bad Day

When someone says they’re having a bad day, respond with support and validation. Try saying or texting something like, “I’m sorry to hear you’re having a bad day,” “I’m here to listen if you want to share,” or “Is there anything I can do to help?” These statements reassure them that they’re not alone.

Section 1 of 5:

The Best Things to Say When Someone Is Having a Bad Day

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  1. 1
    “I’m here for you.” This powerful statement is supportive and caring, and sometimes, it’s all someone needs to hear to know that they’re not alone. By saying this, you’re letting them know that they can rely on you in any circumstance. [1]
    • “I’m here for you, no matter what.”
    • “Know that I’m always here for you.”
    • “If you ever need anything, I’m here.”
  2. 2
    “It’s okay to feel this way.” Validate their emotions and feelings with this reassuring statement. When you say this, you let them know that they don’t need to be embarrassed by what they’re feeling or going through—they don’t have to be ashamed. [2]
    • “Everything you’re feeling is valid.”
    • “It’s okay to be sad! You’ve had a rough day.”
    • “You have every right to be upset.”

    Meet the wikiHow Experts

    Vernita Marsh, PhD , is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist with over 30 years of clinical psychology experience. She specializes in relationship therapy and family therapy.

    Ran D. Anbar, MD, FAAP , is a Pediatric Medical Counselor who offers hypnosis and counseling services. He holds a BS in Biology and Psychology from the University of California.

    Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD , is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist who’s worked in health education and psychology. She has over 25 years of holistic wellness experience.

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  3. 3
    “You’re strong.” Remind them that they have the strength to make it through every day with this statement. Not only are these words powerful, they’re encouraging. Give them a quick reminder that they can make it to tomorrow. [3]
    • “You’re stronger than you think.”
    • “Tomorrow is a new day. You got this!”
    • “You’re the strongest person I know, even on the hard days.”
  4. 4
    “Would you like to talk?” Open the floor to let them vent about what’s bothering them. Sometimes, after a bad day, all someone wants to do is vent. Give them the space to do so with this supportive question. [4]
    • “What’s bothering you?”
    • “Do you want to talk about it? If not, that’s okay too!”
    • “Know that I’m here to talk whenever.”
  5. 5
    “It’s okay to have bad days.” Remind them that bad days happen—they suck, but they’re completely normal. No one’s perfect all of the time, and sometimes, you need a little reminder that it’s okay to have an off day. [5]
    • “It’s more than okay to have a day where you’re not 100%.”
    • “Bad days happen, and they suck, but they don’t last forever.”
    • “It’s okay not to have a perfect day.”
  6. 6
    “You’re doing the best you can.” Let them know that you see what a great job they’re doing, even if life isn’t going their way. By acknowledging their effort, you can help boost their morale and self-esteem. [6]
    • “I really admire how you’re handling this.”
    • “Things may not have gone as you expected, but you’re doing great with what you’ve been given!”
    • “You’re doing the best you can, and I greatly admire your resilience.”
  7. 7
    “How can I help?” Let them tell you what they need right now. If you’re not sure what you can do to help, don’t hesitate to gently ask. Not only does this show your support and care, but it also shows respect for them and their needs. [7]
    • “Is there anything I can do to help?”
    • “What can I do to make things easier? I can drop off groceries or even watch the dog.”
    • “How can I support you right now?”
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Section 2 of 5:

What Not to Say When Someone’s Having a Bad Day

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  1. 1
    “It could be worse.” While you may mean well with this statement, it can actually cause more harm than good. This statement compares their situation with something worse and invalidates whatever they’re feeling. It comes across as a dismissal and may make them feel like they don’t have a “right” to feel the way they’re feeling. [8]
    • Instead, try validating their emotions and feelings by saying, “It sounds like you’re going through a lot right now,” or “I can only imagine what you’re going through.”
  2. 2
    “You’re being too sensitive.” This statement completely dismisses someone’s emotions, making them question their worth and feelings. Everyone handles bad days differently, and no one way is more right than another. If someone’s upset, avoid minimizing their emotions and instead let them experience them fully. [9]
    • Statements like “That does sound frustrating” or “I bet that was hard” validate emotions without being dismissive.
  3. 3
    “I know how you feel.” Avoid turning the conversation to yourself with a similar experience. Yes, we’ve all had bad days, but there’s a time and place to share about them. If someone is venting to you, keep the conversation on what’s happening to them rather than talking about yourself. [10]
    • Only share your own experiences if they’re genuinely helpful or you’ve been asked for advice.
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Section 3 of 5:

Example Messages & Responses

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  1. 1
    For a friend Friend, it’s okay to cry. It’s okay to be frustrated. It sounds like you’ve been through a lot today. If you need to vent more, I’m only a phone call away. You’re one of the strongest people, and tomorrow is just around the corner.
  2. 2
    For a family member I’m so sorry you’re going through all of that. That absolutely sucks, and it’s more than okay to be frustrated or angry. If you need anything at all, please don’t hesitate to ask. I’d be more than happy to help lessen the load. You’re allowed to put your needs first.
  3. 3
    For a significant other Honey, I’m so sorry you’ve had a rough day. I wish I could take some of the burden away from you. I’m here for whatever you need, whether that’s a shoulder to cry on or a knight in shining armor to come pick you up.
  4. 4
    For a coworker That sounds really tough. I can’t believe you had to do the project all by yourself. Please let me know if there’s anything I can do to help! Remember that taking care of yourself is also important.
  5. 5
    For a stranger I’m sorry to hear you’ve had a bad day. It sounds like you’re doing the best you can. Just remember: one bad moment doesn’t define who you are.
  6. 6
    For yourself Just because I’m having a bad day, doesn’t mean I’m a bad person. I know I am strong. I am not alone. As bad as I feel now, I know tomorrow is a new day full of new beginnings. It’s okay to feel sad and frustrated, but with some deep breaths, I can get through it.
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Section 4 of 5:

Encouraging Quotes to Send Someone Having a Bad Day

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  1. If your own words fail, take inspiration from well-known people. Sometimes, it can be hard to know what to say. If you’re struggling to find the right words to help uplift a loved one, try using a famous inspirational quote. The quotes below can be sent to anyone who needs some extra encouragement, support, or motivation: [11]
    • “We will fail when we fail to try.” - Rosa Parks
    • “If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else.” - Booker T. Washington
    • “Don’t be afraid to give up the good to go for the great.” - John D. Rockefeller
    • “Stones and sticks are thrown only at fruit-bearing trees.” - Sumi
    • “It always seems impossible until it’s done.” - Nelson Mandela
    • “Nothing is impossible. The word itself says ‘I’m possible!’” - Aubrey Hepburn
    • “Don’t count the days, make the days count.” - Muhammad Ali
    • “Believe you can and you’re halfway there.” - Theodore Roosevelt
    • “Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat.” - F. Scott Fitzgerald
    • “There is always light. If only we’re brave enough to see it. If only we’re brave enough to be it.” - Amanda Gorman
    • “Real change, enduring change, happens one step at a time.” - Ruth Bader Ginsburg
    • “If you don’t like the road you’re walking, start paving another one.” - Dolly Parton
    • “Each day comes bearing its gifts. Untie the ribbon.” - Ann Ruth Schabacker
    • “You need to be buried deep in the dirt before you can find your bloom.” - Roz Inga
    • “Either you run the day or the day runs you.” - Jim Rohn
    • “Don’t let yesterday take up too much of today.” - Will Rogers
Section 5 of 5:

How to Cheer Someone Up

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  1. 1
    Be an active listener. Active listening helps people feel seen, heard, and understood. As Vernita Marsh, PhD, explains, “Sometimes you don’t have to say anything; being a listening ear can go a long way.” [12] By giving someone your undivided attention, you prove that what they’re saying matters, and in turn, that helps them feel like they matter. [13] More often than not, someone expresses they’ve had a bad day, not because they want advice, but because they want to vent. Allow them to do so by:
    • Removing all distractions (cell phone, TV, music, etc.) while they talk. [14]
    • Making eye contact with them.
    • Reacting nonverbally to what they’re saying with smiles, nods, or approving or disapproving sounds.
    • Asking follow-up questions when they’re done speaking.
    • Not talking over them.
  2. 2
    Give a validating word. Validation can go a long way. Sometimes, all someone wants to know is that what they’re feeling isn’t absurd. Even if you don’t understand what they may be feeling or going through, you can still let them know that whatever they’re experiencing emotionally is valid—you can help them feel seen. [15] Try saying or sending something like:
    • “It sounds like you’ve had a really rough day.”
    • “It makes total sense that you feel frustrated and overwhelmed.”
    • “That sucks. You’ve really had a bad day.”
  3. 3
    Offer advice only when asked. Ask them if they’re looking for advice before giving it. More often than not, all someone wants is a listening ear after a rough day, not a practical solution. They’re likely not venting to you so you can “fix” or “solve” their problems—they just want to let it all out! So, avoid giving advice unless specifically asked. [16]
    • If they do ask for advice, go for it ! Just remember: everybody’s situations are different. The important thing is to be kind and supportive.
  4. 4
    Lend a helping hand. Providing practical assistance may help lift a weight off their shoulders, and in turn, help brighten their day. If you know they have a lot on their plate, offer to help lighten the load. [17] Ran D. Anbar, MD, FAAP, recommends offering to help with daily life activities like “making a meal, vacuuming, shopping, or driving.” [18]
    • Even if they refuse the help, it’ll likely warm their heart knowing you’re willing to help.
    • Try sending a text like, “I’m sorry you’ve had such a rough day. If you need someone to pick up the kids, let me know!” or “Sounds like you need some R+R! Let me treat you to some good take-out and a movie.”
  5. 5
    Send a silly meme or GIF. A goofy image or video is a great way to cheer someone up over text. While it may not seem like much, a cute or funny text can help brighten someone’s day. So, scroll through cute pictures of puppies or hilarious GIFs of popular TV shows to find something that’ll make them smile. Then, hit send! [19]
  6. 6
    Follow up with them. “Even if a friend says ‘I don't need anything,’ follow up a few days later to see if they need anything. Sometimes, people can adopt a belief that they can't count on anyone. Prove them wrong,” says Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD. [20] The feelings of a bad day can linger, so don’t forget about them. The days after they let you know they were having a rough day, reach out. Continue sending motivational or “thinking of you” texts to let them know that you’re there for them 100%. [21]
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/depression/for-friends-and-family/
      2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/emotional-validation
      3. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/mental-health/depression/helping-someone-with-depression
      4. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/6-things-to-say-to-someone-with-depression-or-whos-depressed#1
      5. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-nourishment/202404/having-a-bad-day
      6. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/6-things-to-say-to-someone-with-depression-or-whos-depressed#1
      7. ↑ https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/depression/for-friends-and-family/
      8. ↑ https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/depression/for-friends-and-family/
      9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/emotional-validation
      1. ↑ https://www.nm.org/healthbeat/healthy-tips/emotional-health/the-best-and-worst-ways-to-support-a-friend-with-a-serious-illness
      2. ↑ https://www.southernliving.com/encouragement-quotes-7508714
      3. ↑ Vernita Marsh, PhD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Consultant, & Speaker. Expert Interview
      4. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/relationships/communication/active-listening
      5. ↑ https://wayne.edu/learning-communities/pdf/becoming-active-listener-13.pdf
      6. ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/validation-defusing-intense-emotions-202308142961
      7. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/relationships/communication/active-listening
      8. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/mental-health/grief/helping-someone-who-is-grieving
      9. ↑ Ran D. Anbar, MD, FAAP. Pediatric Pulmonologist & Medical Counselor. Expert Interview
      10. ↑ https://mhanational.org/blog/10-ways-to-cheer-someone-up-right-now/
      11. ↑ Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949), Registered Dietitian, & Fitness Expert. Expert Interview
      12. ↑ https://mhanational.org/blog/10-ways-to-cheer-someone-up-right-now/
      13. ↑ Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949), Registered Dietitian, & Fitness Expert. Expert Interview

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