Whether you’re trying to build physical intimacy with a new girlfriend, or simply trying to have a special moment with a woman you’ve been seeing for a while, braiding her hair is a great way to start. And since it’s more about having a special moment together, you don’t have to worry about being a master braider or doing anything fancy! However, if you just started dating, keep in mind that you may have to work your way up to it if she’s not accustomed to a lot of physical contact with you yet.

Method 1
Method 1 of 3:

Offering to Do Her Hair

  1. Wait for a quiet moment when you’re together. If she’s self-conscious about public displays of affection, choose a time when the two of you are alone. Ideal moments could be:
    • Sitting on the couch while watching TV.
    • Lounging on a blanket outside in the sun.
    • Waiting for an outdoor concert to begin.
  2. Attempting intimacy always feels awkward when you could fit a car between the two of you, so sit close to her and get cozy. Put your arm around her. Start stroking or playing with her hair. Pay her a compliment about its texture, look, or scent. Be natural about it, so you don’t look like you're trying to force a rehearsed move on her. [1]
    • Keep your eyes on the TV or whatever the two of you are watching at first.
    • Play with her hair absentmindedly, as if you don’t even know what your hand is doing.
    • Then act as though whatever it is you compliment suddenly woke you up to what your hand is up to.
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  3. If she’s worn it braided for you before, tell her how much you like it that way. If not, tell her how great you think she’d look. Or, if you know that she enjoys having other people braid her hair as a way of relaxing, simply offer to do it yourself.
    • If you’re confident about your skill, just offer to do it, plain and simple, to show your confidence, like: "Hey, how about I braid this for you?"
    • If you’re unsure, just ask her to teach you. This way she probably won’t mind any mishaps, and you’ll still have an intimate moment together. Say something, "Hey, why don't you show me how to braid your hair? I always wondered how you do that."
    • If you’re confident but want to make this even more of a bonding experience, play dumb and ask her to teach you so she feels like she’s sharing something with you.
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Method 2
Method 2 of 3:

Braiding Her Hair

  1. Sit behind her with enough space between you so you have room to work. Start from the bottom of her hair and work your way up to gently loosen any tangles. Go slowly, being careful not to pull. Smooth her hair with your palms a few times once you’ve finished.
    • Use your fingers if there isn’t a comb handy, or if you’d just rather have a more hands-on experience.
  2. Your main goal here is only to have an intimate moment with your lady, so don’t worry about doing anything too complex. First, separate her hair, or a section of her hair, into three even strands. Let’s call them 1, 2, and 3, from left to right. From there, you can start with either the leftmost strand (1) or the rightmost (3), but let’s say you start with the right strand: [2]
    • Take the rightmost strand (3) in one hand, then cross it over the middle strand (2). Now the strands are arranged like this: 1-3-2, with the original right strand ending up in the middle.
    • Now cross the left strand (1) over the new middle strand (3). Now the original left strand is in between the others, so they appear as 3-1-2.
    • Continue crossing the strands in this pattern (right over middle, then left over middle) until you reach the end of her hair.
    • Always use one hand to handle the strand that you're moving, and your other hand to keep the other two strands separated from it. This way hairs from one strand won't become tangled with another’s.
    • This may be hard to visualize, so watch a video tutorial if needed to better see how to use your fingers and arrange each strand.
    • Practicing with three different colors of yarn or similar material is an easy way to master braiding.
  3. Remember, you’re just trying to show your partner you care, not rushing a customer in and out of a salon so you can move on to the next. Take your time. Be careful not to pull too hard or tightly on her hair. Work slowly and methodically.
    • Watch her neck and shoulders to make sure she’s relaxed.
    • If they tense up, this might mean she’s not enjoying this, or she may be nervous.
  4. As long as she’s enjoying herself, follow the spirit of the moment. This is casual, not hairdressing, so keep it light and playful. Draw it out by taking your time, braiding several sections of hair, and/or undoing your work and starting all over.
    • If she’s talkative, keep chatting to show off your skill and confidence by doing two things at once.
    • If she’s relaxed and falls silent, keep quiet as well so she can focus on the sensation.
  5. Leave her hair braided if she wants. If not, undo it by reversing the technique. Then use your fingers to comb her hair out. To keep the physical intimacy going, try:
    • Moving on to a shoulder or neck massage.
    • Planting a kiss or two on her head, neck, or shoulders.
    • Stroking or grazing her fingers over her back or arms.
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Method 3
Method 3 of 3:

Making Her Feel Comfortable with Being Touched

  1. If the two of you have already become physically intimate, this is less of a concern. But if you are on a first date or taking things slowly, respect her personal space and body. Don’t spoil the mood by rushing or forcing physical contact. Wait until the two of you have both grown comfortable with small touches before suggesting something as involved as braiding her hair. [3]
    • How long this takes will depend on the woman in question. She may welcome physical signs of affection right away, or she may need several dates before she feels like she can trust you.
    • However long it takes, don’t force the issue. Be respectful and don't rush physical intimacy before she’s ready.
  2. Asking her if she’d like you to braid her hair will probably come across as a strange idea if the two of you haven’t made any sort of physical contact, so set some precedent. When you’re with her, touch her “by chance” or with polite, respectful gestures. Use these moments to judge how comfortable she feels with you. For example, you could: [4]
    • Share an armrest with her in a movie theater so your arms rest against each other.
    • Tap her arm to direct her attention to something you’re pointing out.
    • Lightly touch her shoulder to announce your presence if she doesn’t see you coming.
  3. When you start off making small, incidental touches, aim for parts of her body that aren’t too personal, like her hand, arm, or back. Of course, you’re not entitled to touch any part of her unless she’s okay with it, but consider these areas as an innocent place to start trying. As long as she’s fine with it, continue finding excuses to make contact there so she grows accustomed to it without feeling threatened, like: [5]
    • Emphasizing a point you’re making in your conversation by touching her hand.
    • Guiding her through doors with your hand in the small of her back.
    • Cupping her elbow to let her know you’re about to turn left or right as you walk together.
  4. Make physicality a part of your date right from the get-go. Don’t put if off, because this will only build it up into something “big” that will feel more awkward once you do start trying. Start testing the waters at the very start of your first date so touching each other feels perfectly natural. [6]
    • Briefly take her hand between yours as part of your greeting.
    • Guide her by the elbow for a moment once you start walking.
    • Offer your hand to help her out of the car.
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Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    What are some common mistakes people do when braiding hair?
    Ndeye Anta Niang
    Hair Stylist & Master Braider
    Ndeye Anta Niang is a Hair Stylist, Master Braider, and Founder of AntaBraids, a traveling braiding service based in New York City. Ndeye has over 20 years of experience in African hair including braiding box braids, Senegalese twists, crochet braids, faux dread locs, goddess locs, kinky twists, and lakhass braids. Ndeye was the first female of her tribe in Africa to move to America and is now sharing her knowledge of African braids passed on from generation to generation.
    Hair Stylist & Master Braider
    Expert Answer
    They tend to think if they don't pull it tight, it's not going to stay. There is some truth to that but you can braid it without pulling it too tight and it will stay.
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      Tips

      • Don't use brushes, clips, elastics or other equipment unless your partner asks you to.
      • Make sure that you keep the braid separated at the bottom or it will get tangled and won't help your relationship .
      • Long hair is far easier to braid than short hair, unless you're pretty skilled. If your woman has short hair, consider giving her a scalp massage instead.
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      Warnings

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