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Whether you are looking at colleges, visiting far-flung friends and family, or just broadening your horizons on vacation, traveling without your parents can be rewarding. Convincing them this is a good idea, however, can be difficult. Research your trip and tell your parents why it would be beneficial. Approach them at a good time and have a calm, respectful conversation. Look for a compromise if they say refuse, such as offering to pay for the trip or doing extra chores. In the event they still refuse, accept a refusal for now. In the future, they may be more likely to say "Yes" if they see you're mature.
Steps
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Form a solid plan for your trip. If your parents see you have put a lot of thought into traveling, they're more likely to agree. Spend some time researching where you want to go and make sure you give your parents all the basic information, including practical considerations like cost. If your parents know what they can expect, you can answer any questions and ease any of their anxiety about the situation. [1] X Research source
- For example, say you want to go on a class trip. Get all the information about the trip such as how much money you will need, how you will get there, who will chaperone, how long the trip will be, and where you are staying.
- You should also let your parents know what kind of things you'll do. Tell them you plan to be safe when going out and let them know how you'll get around.
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Find examples of other people your age who travel alone. Your parents may worry about you traveling alone if you're very young. Do you have friends who have taken trips without their parents? Ask them about their experiences and use them as an example. This can help show your parents traveling without them can be a safe, rewarding experience. [2] X Research source
- For example, maybe your best friend went on a trip with their church group. Ask them to tell you a little about their experience and how it benefitted them. Ask how they stayed safe and responsible on the trip. Use this friend's experience to help ease any worries your parents may have about you traveling alone.
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Plan what you're going to say. You do not need to plan your speech word-for-word. However, it can be helpful to jot down your thoughts and try to figure out how to best formulate them. You can practice making your request by rehearsing in front of a mirror first. As you may be nervous when asking your parents' permission, it's a good idea to have some idea of what you will say ahead of time. [3] X Research source
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Pick the right time and place to talk. Where and when you talk can increase your likelihood of getting a yes answer. Look for a place free of distractions and talk during a time when your parents are not distracted. [4] X Research source
- Do not try to talk in your living room which is full of electronic devices. Instead, talk in the dining room where it's relatively quiet.
- Pick a time when your parents are free. A busy Tuesday night is probably not the best time to talk, but you may be able to catch your parents on a Sunday afternoon.
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Be direct. Get straight to the point when you ask. Introduce the topic directly and make your case right away. Stop your parents and say something like, "I wanted to ask you about something." [5] X Research source
- From there, introduce the topic right away. For instance, say, "My class is going on at trip out of state this summer and I really want to go too."
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Show gratitude. Your parents will be more likely to agree if you don't come off as entitled. When making your request, make sure to let your parents know how much you appreciate them. If you show off your appreciation, your parents are more likely to feel you truly understand the worth of a vacation. [6] X Research source
- For example, say something like, "I know how hard you and dad work, and that what I'm asking costs a lot of money. I really, really appreciate all the vacations you have taken me on, because they've taught me the value of traveling. I think this could be a great experience for me."
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Listen to your parent's perspective. As you expect your parents to hear you out, show them the same respect. Remember, your parents may have genuine questions and concerns about you traveling without them. Calmly hear them out and wait to respond until they're finished. [7] X Research source
- Listening can help you figure out how to reach a potential compromise. If your parents are worried about the money, for example, you can offer to get a part-time job to cover some expenses.
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Avoid arguing. You do not want to argue with your parents, as this can make them less likely to say "Yes." Even if you believe their argument is unfair, allow them to make their point without complaining, whining, or being argumentative. [8] X Research source
- For example, do not fire back with something like, "It isn't fair! Other kids get to go on this trip."
- Instead, say something like, "I understand you're worried about me being responsible, but is there any way we can compromise?"
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Promise to stay in touch. Your parents may be nervous about you traveling without them. They likely want to know where you are and what you're doing at all times. Promising to stay in touch can help them feel more comfortable about you going off on your own. [9] X Research source
- Be specific about how you will stay in touch and how often you will contact them. For example, you can promise to e-mail every and send a text message each night when you get home for the evening.
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Offer to do something in exchange. Your parents may want you to understand the expenses and responsibilities involved with traveling. You can offer to do something to earn the trip. For example, offer to do extra chores around the house or pay for part of the trip yourself. [10] X Research source
- Try saying something like, "If you want me to earn the trip, I can definitely do that. I can get a paper route and save up some of the spending money myself."
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Request your parents take time to think it over. Your parents may be hesitant to give a "yes" right away for a variety of reasons. Letting their child travel without them is a big decision. If you push them for an answer prematurely, they may get frustrated and say "No." Propose giving them time to think it over. [11] X Research source
- Say something like, "I can see this is a big deal for you. If you want, I would be happy to give you time to think it over and we can talk later."
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Accept a "No" for now. If your parents still say "No," despite your efforts, accept the answer for now. If they see you are able to accept their decision maturely, they may be more likely to agree to a similar request in the future. [12] X Research source
- For example, say something like, "I understand you don't want me to go, but thanks for taking the time to listen to me anyway."
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Expert Q&A
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QuestionWhat's your advice for asking permission if your parents are always saying no?Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).Try to understand why they said no. If you ask to be allowed to get back at midnight and they say 10 PM, instead of getting angry, try to understand why that is. You’ll get an honest answer. If you can understand where they're coming from, you can address that point, and maybe promise them that you understand them. In due time, they will start to trust you more.
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Expert Interview
Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about convincing your parents, check out our in-depth interview with Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC .
References
- ↑ https://www.dumblittleman.com/5-tips-convince-overprotective-parents-let-travel-alone/
- ↑ https://www.dumblittleman.com/5-tips-convince-overprotective-parents-let-travel-alone/
- ↑ http://kidshealth.org/en/kids/talk-parents.html
- ↑ http://kidshealth.org/en/teens/talk-to-parents.html#
- ↑ http://kidshealth.org/en/kids/talk-parents.html
- ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/hanaan-rosenthal/advice-for-teens_b_2037523.html
- ↑ http://kidshealth.org/en/kids/talk-parents.html
- ↑ http://kidshealth.org/en/kids/talk-parents.html
- ↑ https://www.dumblittleman.com/5-tips-convince-overprotective-parents-let-travel-alone/
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