wikiHow Forums Sexuality

Who/what was your gay awakening?

WikiPandaDancer490
WikiPandaDancer490
07/04/24 8:02 AM
What was the moment things clicked for you and you realized you were 💅? Who was it that made you feel feelings? I'm so curious to hear people's stories!
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WikiLlamaGlider700
WikiLlamaGlider700
07/04/24 4:08 PM
My friends and I randomly watched Van Wilder back in high school (any national lampoon fans here?), which led to Ryan Reynolds being my first gay crush. I think it took me a while to know that I was gay because I'm attracted to people of all genders, so it was easier for me to "default" to liking girls and fitting in with the heteronormative "boys like girls" thing for most of my childhood.

It took a lot of soul searching and exploration for me to figure out my sexuality. At different points in my life, I've thought I was straight, gay, bi, and pan, and eventually I realized that trying to figure out the exact specific term wasn't working out for me. Queer is an umbrella term that feels most comfortable to me
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wikiHow Expert
Jessica Swenson
07/05/24 8:21 PM
The thing about sexual orientation and preferences is that they are subjective to the person that's experiencing them. There's not a clinical test for being gay. It's just how you feel, and it can change every day, so go with whatever identity feels right for you. It's generally not a good idea to try to come up with a black and white term for every possible sexual identity a person can have.
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WikiZebraCaster991
WikiZebraCaster991
07/06/24 6:34 PM
I was watching Pirates of the Caribbean and could not stop thinking about how hot Jack Sparrow was! Now I have a thing for pirates
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WikiCloudWhisperer256
WikiCloudWhisperer256
07/07/24 5:56 PM
My gay awakening was/is my best friend. We're still bffs and I haven't told her about my feelings. Every day when we hang out at school I feel like I'm hiding something from her by not telling her that I like her but I also don't want to ruin our friendship by telling her and making things weird between us. I really don't know what to do because I don't want to lose her :(
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wikiHow Expert
Kateri Berasi, PsyD
07/07/24 7:52 PM
As a starting point, it can be helpful to have discussions with her about sexuality and desire in a more general sense. This way, she will become aware that you are interested in same-sex relationships and/or sexual activity, and hopefully, you can get a better sense of her own interest. If after talking to her you still don’t have an idea of what her feelings and opinions are, be honest and open up about how you feel. Trust that the strength of your friendship will help you work through any difficulties that may arise.
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What do other wikiHow readers have to say?

Other wikiHow readers have submitted their own tips on topics similar to this one.

Reader Tips from How to Know if You Are Gay
Anonymous wikiHamster
Anonymous wikiHamster
Being gay is part of who you are, and there’s nothing wrong with it. Some people might not understand your sexual orientation, but you are perfect the way you are.
Anonymous wikiOcelot
Anonymous wikiOcelot
Take all the time you need to decide if you’re gay. Try dating different people to see what feels right to you.
Anonymous wikiBear
Anonymous wikiBear
Keep in mind that your sexual orientation is different from your gender identity. That means, for example, that you can be transgender but also straight (for instance, you might identify as a woman and feel attracted to men) or gay (e.g., if you identify as a woman and are attracted to other women). You can also be both trans and queer.
Reader Tips from How to Know what Your Sexuality Is when You Can't Figure It Out
Anonymous wikiLynx
Anonymous wikiLynx
Realize that sexuality is a spectrum, and you don't need to 'decide' on a label if you're uncomfortable with it.
Anonymous wikiGopher
Anonymous wikiGopher
Your dating history cannot determine your sexuality. Your feelings determine your sexuality. You may have dated someone you were not attracted to, or you may have been attracted to someone you've never dated.
Anonymous wikiSquirrel
Anonymous wikiSquirrel
You don't have to come out, ever, if you aren't ready or don't want to.
Reader Tips from How to Accept That You Are Gay
Anonymous wikiPony
Anonymous wikiPony
Don't worry about what others think; what is important is that you are true to yourself and considerate of others - that doesn't mean you need to cater to the sensibilities of others. If a friend or a member of your family is having trouble coming to terms with your orientation, you may have to give them time and be patient, or in the long term face the end of that friendship.
Anonymous wikiDog
Anonymous wikiDog
It is important to note that the American Psychological Association has declared that groups claiming to cure homosexuality are dangerous and unhealthy. It is very mentally and physically unhealthy to suppress your feelings and your true self. It is up to you to decide what's best for your life.