How to Get a Girl to Be Your Girlfriend

Asking a girl to be your girlfriend can be nerve-racking, and you might be wondering what you can do to get her to really like you. Attract her attention by giving her compliments, asking her questions about her interests, and just being yourself. When the time comes to ask her to be your girlfriend, then there will be lots of ways you can ask the question. Then if she says yes or no, respect her answer and be proud of yourself for asking.

Part 1
Part 1 of 3:

How to Attract Her?

  1. This is a simple way to make the girl more attracted to you. Shower regularly so that your hair and body are smelling clean, and wear clothes that you feel confident and attractive in. [1]
    • Doing small things like brushing your hair or putting together a nice outfit is more likely to attract the girl's attention.
  2. When you catch the girl looking at you, try to maintain eye contact for several seconds before smiling and looking away. This will hint to her that you really like her and will make her more interested in you. [2]
    • When you're talking to her, look into her eyes to help form a meaningful connection.
    • Try to avoid looking into her eyes for more than 3 seconds, as this verges more on staring.
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  3. You can do this by just standing or sitting near her, as well as pointing your body so that it's facing her. Smile lots when she's around, and pay attention to any physical cues she gives to see if she likes you too. [3]
    • Sit or stand up straight to show off good posture.
    • Avoid crossing your arms to make you look more approachable and friendly.

    Note: If she likes you back, she might move to be closer to you, play with her hair, smile more, or bite her lip.

  4. The compliments should be genuine and tell her what you like about her as a person, not just focusing on looks. For example, you might tell her that you love her personality, like how she treats her friends and family, or think she's great at her job or schoolwork. [4]
    • Compliment her on her sports skills or artistic abilities.
    • Say something like, “You have a beautiful smile,” or “You always make me laugh.”
  5. You could do this by telling a joke or funny story, or by teasing her lightly to get her to laugh. Getting her to laugh will help her feel more comfortable around you and will make her more attracted to you at the same time. [5]
    • Talk about a funny story that happened to you when you were little.
    • Tease her about something silly like her stuffed animal collection or any funny habits she has.
  6. Touch her gently on the arm, hug her when saying hello or goodbye, or put your arm around her shoulders when sitting or standing near one another. Small touches are a great way to tell her you're interested in her without being aggressive. [6]
    • Squeeze her hand lightly when you're walking beside one another.
    • Touch her shoulder when you're having a conversation, or lightly squeeze her knee if you're sitting next to her.
    • With that said, you should hold off on doing this if you're talking to a girl you just met. You don't want to come on too strong and start touching a girl you've only just started talking to. [7]
  7. Don't try to act differently just to get a girl to like you. Girls find natural confidence attractive, so she'll be much more likely to fall for you if you're just being yourself. [8]
    • Avoid taking yourself too seriously and don't be scared to make fun of yourself.
    • If you're confident in who you are, she'll notice that and feel more comfortable being around you.
    • Always aim to be genuine and honest when you're talking to girls. [9]
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Part 2
Part 2 of 3:

How to Form a Connection?

  1. This can be over text, in person, through social media, or even by written notes. By talking to her throughout the day, you'll learn more about each other and show her that you're thinking about her often. [10]
    • Send her a simple text that says, “I hope you're having a great day,” or “What are your plans for the weekend?”
    • Leave her notes in her notebook or bag that she'll find later on.

    Tip: Avoid overwhelming her with texts or messages. A few throughout the day is okay, but if she hasn't been responding, it's best to slow it down.

  2. Not only will this help you really get to know her, but she'll appreciate the effort you're making. Ask her questions about school or work, her family, and her interests. [11]
    • Ask her what she likes to do on the weekend, what her favorite shows are, or which restaurants she likes.
    • If you strike up a natural conversation, she might even ask you questions about yourself as well, showing that she's interested in getting to know you too.
  3. This could be that you both love sports, are studying the same subject in school, or love helping the community. Bonding over shared hobbies or interests will strengthen your relationship, and it will also give you ideas of things you can do together that you both enjoy. [12]
    • If you both love nature, you could go on a hike or walk when the weather is nice.
    • Maybe you both like reading, watching horror movies, or playing board games.
  4. When she talks, make sure you're truly listening. Bring up things she's talked about before, such as activities she likes doing, places she wants to visit, or different foods she likes most. [13]
    • If she mentioned she loves chocolate, surprise her with a candy bar the next time you hang out together.
    • Take her to a park or store she says she likes, or play her favorite music when you're in the car with her.
    • You might send her a text saying, “I remember you saying you were stressed about your big test today. I just wanted to say good luck!”
  5. Make her a special dinner or breakfast, take her on a day trip somewhere, or just do a nice gesture like bring her supplies when she's sick or help her with a task. Taking the time to do something with her and putting thought into your plans will show her how much you care. [14]
    • Bring her bowling, to a movie, or to play putt putt.
    • Set up a picnic for the two of you in a park or backyard.
    • Ask her what her perfect date would be and see if you can create it for her.
  6. Letting her know how you feel will make your intentions more obvious when you go to ask her to be your girlfriend. Tell her how you feel about her, either slipping it into normal conversation or making a grand gesture. Ask her how she feels about you too, if desired. [15]
    • You might tell her, “I really like you and want to keep getting to know you better.”
    • Tell her how you're feeling over a romantic dinner or while you're taking a scenic walk.
    • If you tell her how you feel and she doesn't seem to feel the same way, be respectful of her feelings.
    • Try to avoid doing this over text. Telling a girl how you feel in person will make the moment so much more special for the both of you. [16]
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Part 3
Part 3 of 3:

How to Ask Her to Be Your Girlfriend?

  1. It's best to avoid asking the girl to be your girlfriend over text or social media—this isn't as personal, and you won't be able to see her true reaction. While it can be nerve-racking, she'll appreciate the effort and courage it took to ask you the question in person. [17]
    • Practice asking her the question in front of a mirror if you're feeling nervous.
    • You don't need to make a big deal out of it—even just slipping the question into a normal conversation and then moving on to another topic works well.
  2. Keep your text simple by saying something like, "Will you be my girlfriend?" and then adding a cute emoji, GIF, or picture. You can also get more creative with your text by telling her what you like about her in the text too. [18]
    • You might send a text that says, "I've had a crush on you ever since you first smiled at me—will you be my girlfriend?"
    • Asking someone to be your girlfriend over text isn't recommended because it's always much better if you do it in person.
  3. If you just want to ask without making a big deal out of it, get a moment alone with her and ask, “Would you like to be my girlfriend?” or something similar. Most girls like it when you're direct, and this is a great way to show your intentions while being respectful and polite. [19]

    Tip: Ask her the question when you're taking a walk, eating dinner, or just spending quality time together.

  4. Whether you're too nervous to ask her out loud or you really want to explain your feelings in more detail, a letter is a super thoughtful way to ask her to be your girlfriend. Write out everything you'd like to tell her, adding the question in of “Will you be my girlfriend?” near the end. [20]
    • Make the letter as short or as long as you'd like—it could even just be more of a note that says something kind and then pops the question.
    • Write about the fun times you've had together, what you like about her, or how she makes you feel.
    • Once you're finished, you can either give her the letter to read in front of you, or you can give it to her to read at a later time.
  5. Instead of coming right out and asking if she'll be your girlfriend, there are other ways to get your answer without being so direct. For example, ask, “When I'm introducing you to people, should I introduce you as my friend or my girlfriend?” [21]
    • You might ask, “What do you tell your friends that we are?” steering the conversation along so that you can later say, “Would you mind if I called you my girlfriend?”
    • You could also ask her to come to an event with you as more than just your date to show that you want to be serious.
  6. Instead of jumping right into the question, explain what you like about her. This creates a more natural conversation and shows her that you really do want her to be your girlfriend.
    • For example, you might say, “I really like spending time with you and think you're a smart, amazing person. Would you be my girlfriend?”
    • You could compliment her by saying she's kind, has a great smile, or is really funny.
  7. Make a sign that says “Will you be my girlfriend?” or write the question on a baked good for an added treat. There are lots of ways to ask her to be your girlfriend that involve creativity, and she'll be super impressed by how much thought you put into it.
    • Write her a short song asking her to be your girlfriend if you play an instrument or sing.
    • Write the question on a cake with icing, or form the letters on a pizza using candy or pizza toppings.
    • Spell the question out on the driveway in flowers or sidewalk chalk.
  8. Try not to take it personally if she doesn't want to be your girlfriend. Take some time to get over your feelings, and know that there's someone else out there for you. [22]
    • Allow yourself to feel whatever you're feeling, whether it's sadness, anger, or disappointment.
    • Spend some time in nature or exercise to make you feel better, or distract yourself with your favorite hobbies.
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Join the Discussion...

How do I rizz up a girl I just met?
WikiMountainCat42
69
WikiMountainCat42
I keep seeing this beautiful girl at a cafe I study at, and I really want to talk to her. But I feel so awkward. What do I do? How do I get her t... Read More
8
John Keegan
Dating Coach
Great question. The first thing to do is to always go back to step one, which is your own mindset and way of being. For you to approach her in th... Read More
WikiMongooseChaser121
5
WikiMongooseChaser121
Fully agree on the eye contact thing. Makes it so much easier to break the ice and then you’re already halfway to starting a conversation. If s... Read More
See all 115 Replies and
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Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    What's the best way to tell a girl how I feel?
    Connell Barrett
    Dating Coach
    Connell Barrett is a Relationship Expert and the Founder and Executive Coach of Dating Transformation in New York City. Connell has over five years of experience as an international coach who helps men connect with women by unlocking their best, true, most confident selves. He is the author of the Amazon bestseller “Dating Sucks but You Don’t,” and has appeared on Good Morning America, the "Today" show, Access Hollywood, and in Best Life, Cosmopolitan, and The Oprah Magazine. In 2019 he was named Datezie.com's “New York City’s Best Male Dating Coach."
    Connell Barrett
    Dating Coach
    Expert Answer
    Choose a nice setting, like a park or a good restaurant, to make the moment more special. Doing it in person and making it romantic will make it memorable for both of you and help put her in a great frame of mind to receive the news.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
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    Not Helpful 6 Helpful 25
  • Question
    Can I ask a girl to be my girlfriend over text?
    Connell Barrett
    Dating Coach
    Connell Barrett is a Relationship Expert and the Founder and Executive Coach of Dating Transformation in New York City. Connell has over five years of experience as an international coach who helps men connect with women by unlocking their best, true, most confident selves. He is the author of the Amazon bestseller “Dating Sucks but You Don’t,” and has appeared on Good Morning America, the "Today" show, Access Hollywood, and in Best Life, Cosmopolitan, and The Oprah Magazine. In 2019 he was named Datezie.com's “New York City’s Best Male Dating Coach."
    Connell Barrett
    Dating Coach
    Expert Answer
    It's better to do it in person so you can make the moment special. You'll both have a special memory if you do it in person, but you won't get that if you do it over text.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
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  • Question
    How would you ask a girl if you are scared to?
    Emily Berger1
    Community Answer
    If you're too nervous to ask her in person, try writing her a note asking her to be your girlfriend. You can give her the note and tell her to open it when you're not around if you'd like.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
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      Tips

      • Avoid rushing into it—take your time and ask her to be your girlfriend when you know each other well.
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      • Use your best judgment to determine if she likes you before you ask her out.
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        Helpful 6 Not Helpful 1
      • Don't be too aggressive or too gentle. You want to have a firm but gentle posture to show that you are loving and caring but also ready to fight for what you love.
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      Tips from our Readers

      The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
      • To form a connection a girl, tell her jokes, compliment her, and talk to her regularly so she gets to know you. If you ask her out and she turns you down, don't walk away awkwardly or let it ruin your relationship. Be cool and understanding of her decision.
      • Don't expect anything, and respect whatever decision she makes. The worst case scenario is that she says no, but you can walk away from the situation knowing that you put yourself out there and gained experience.
      • As a girl, I like chill guys who are aren't afraid to be themselves. Be relaxed around her, and don't try to be someone that you're not. If you're trying too hard, it will show!
      • If you're afraid to ask her directly, ask if she would accept a date from someone else. If she says no, tell her you feel the same way and that it makes you two exclusive.
      • While asking her in person is the best way, Skype or texting is good too! That way, it's not as embarrassing if she rejects you.
      • Don't be afraid to express your feelings! Oftentimes, the girl likes you and is waiting for you to ask her out.
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      Warnings

      • If, in order to be your friend, she makes absurd demands or asks you for gifts that you can give, give up. She is acting out of self-interest and is simply taking advantage of you.
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      • Don't move too fast. Don't ask her to be your girlfriend when you've only just met. Give her time.
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      • Make sure she doesn't have a boyfriend. And if she does, just try to be friends with her.
        • Give up and forget about her if your boyfriend is very jealous and possessive.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.luvze.com/how-to-get-a-girl-to-like-you/
      2. ↑ https://www.luvze.com/how-to-get-a-girl-to-like-you/
      3. ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/attraction/
      4. ↑ https://www.gq.com/story/ne-me-creep-pas
      5. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxK_H-IhC4g#t=3m5s
      6. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxK_H-IhC4g#t=4m7s
      7. ↑ Connell Barrett. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.
      8. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxK_H-IhC4g#t=5m25s
      9. ↑ Connell Barrett. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.
      1. ↑ https://www.luvze.com/how-to-get-a-girl-to-like-you/
      2. ↑ https://www.luvze.com/how-to-get-a-girl-to-like-you/
      3. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9K0Qpm6fQpg#t=5m30s
      4. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9K0Qpm6fQpg#t=5m28s
      5. ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/a31786/100-date-ideas/
      6. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qz1Bv45OEpw#t=2m45s
      7. ↑ Connell Barrett. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.
      8. ↑ Connell Barrett. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.
      9. ↑ https://www.techjunkie.com/how-to-ask-a-girl-to-be-your-girlfriend/
      10. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qz1Bv45OEpw#t=4m2s
      11. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9K0Qpm6fQpg#t=4m43s
      12. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qz1Bv45OEpw#t=4m15s
      13. ↑ https://www.inc.com/amy-morin/5-ways-mentally-strong-people-deal-with-rejection.html

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