How Long Should You Date before Getting Married in Your 20s?

PDF download Download Article
Helping you decide when to take the next step in your relationship
PDF download Download Article

You’ve found the one: your partner and soulmate that you want to spend the rest of your life with. But if you two are only in your 20s, popping the question and planning a wedding might feel like you’re rushing into things. While there’s no right or wrong timeline for getting married, there are some helpful guidelines that you can follow when it comes to dating before marriage. Keep reading to learn how long the experts recommend waiting, as well as things to consider before getting engaged.

Things You Should Know

  • Relationship experts recommend dating for at least 1 to 2 years before getting married.
  • Dating for 3 or more years drops the likelihood of getting a divorce as much as 50%.
  • While there’s no right age to get married, make sure you and your partner are on the same page about your values and goals.
Section 1 of 5:

How long should you date before marriage?

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/7\/79\/How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-1.jpg\/v4-460px-How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-1.jpg.png","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/7\/79\/How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-1.jpg\/v4-728px-How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-1.jpg.png","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    At any age, 1 to 2 years lets you get to know your partner and make sure that your goals and values align with each other’s. [1] It’s important to have a solid foundation in your relationship and to build trust, especially when you’re in your 20s, so that you know the relationship can last long-term.
    • Studies have found that couples who date for 3+ years tend to stay together for longer after marriage. In fact, divorce rates drop as much as 50% when couples date for 3 or more years.
    • If you're in your 30s, 40s, or beyond, the recommendation is the same—dating for at least 1-2 years will give your relationship the solid foundation it needs to last a long time.
    2. Advertisement
Section 2 of 5:

How long does an average relationship last in your 20s?

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/8\/8a\/How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-2.jpg\/v4-460px-How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-2.jpg.png","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/8\/8a\/How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-2.jpg\/v4-728px-How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-2.jpg.png","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    However, studies also show that those years aren’t necessarily consecutive. Young people, especially in the newer generations, tend to break up and make up more often than their older counterparts used to. [2]
Section 3 of 5:

Is your early 20s too young to get married?

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/7\/76\/How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-3.jpg\/v4-460px-How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-3.jpg.png","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/7\/76\/How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-3.jpg\/v4-728px-How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-3.jpg.png","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Ultimately, deciding when you’d like to get married is up to you and your partner. Some people date for less than a year and marry quickly, while others take their time and stay together for decades before tying the knot. As long as you feel comfortable and excited about the situation, then it’s the right choice for you. [3]
    2. Advertisement
Section 4 of 5:

Considerations Before Getting Engaged

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/8\/84\/How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-4.jpg\/v4-460px-How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-4.jpg.png","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/8\/84\/How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-4.jpg\/v4-728px-How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-4.jpg.png","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    When you date someone, you’re getting to know their innermost thoughts and values. If you’re thinking about taking the next step in your relationship, think about how you and your partner complement each other. It’s okay to have minor differences, but the big things, like family values and moral leanings, should all relatively be the same. [4]
    • For example, maybe staying close to family is very important to you, but your partner would prefer to travel and live abroad. This could cause conflict down the line, so it’s important to think about now.
  2. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/9\/9a\/How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-5.jpg\/v4-460px-How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-5.jpg.png","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/9\/9a\/How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-5.jpg\/v4-728px-How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-5.jpg.png","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Exclusivity is an important part of a monogamous relationship—but your relationship (and your marriage) doesn’t have to be monogamous. Before taking the plunge and getting married, talk to your partner about whether the relationship would be totally exclusive, or if you two are okay with an open marriage or a polyamorous relationship. [5]
    • This is another value that may be hard to compromise on. If you’re fully monogamous but your partner wants to be in an open relationship, then it may not work out long-term.
  3. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/3\/3c\/How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-6.jpg\/v4-460px-How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-6.jpg.png","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/3\/3c\/How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-6.jpg\/v4-728px-How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-6.jpg.png","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    In-law relations are a very important part of a family’s dynamic. When you and your partner get married, you’re not just marrying them: you’re marrying their family, too. Think about whether or not you can get along with your partner’s family and how well they integrate into your own. [6]
  4. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/8\/8f\/How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-7.jpg\/v4-460px-How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-7.jpg.png","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/8\/8f\/How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-7.jpg\/v4-728px-How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-7.jpg.png","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Do you see yourself building a life with this person? When you and your partner get married, you’re likely going to move in together (if you aren’t living together already). Marriage isn’t just about romance, it’s about living as roommates, too. Think about your partner’s lifestyle and whether or not it fits in with your own. [7]
    • For instance, maybe your partner is super messy but you’re a neat freak. When you get married, you may need to compromise about the cleanliness of your home in order to cohabitate. Sometimes, you'll both counterbalance each other's weaknesses and strengths.
  5. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/2\/25\/How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-8.jpg\/v4-460px-How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-8.jpg.png","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/2\/25\/How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-8.jpg\/v4-728px-How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-8.jpg.png","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Deciding whether or not to have kids is a big step, and one that shouldn’t be taken lightly. For most people, this is a joint decision that they make with their partner. It’s important that both you and your partner are on the same page about having children before you get married so that there are no disappointments down the line. [8]
    • When you’re young, it can be tough to decide if you want to have kids, especially if you’d like to wait a couple of years. If you or your partner are still on the fence about kids, it’s okay to get married as long as you keep that line of communication open.
  6. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/b\/b3\/How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-9.jpg\/v4-460px-How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-9.jpg.png","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/b\/b3\/How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-9.jpg\/v4-728px-How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-9.jpg.png","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    When you and your partner disagree, do you fight fair (meaning no yelling or name-calling)? Arguing is a fact of life in any relationship, and it’s important that you and your partner can communicate respectfully even when you don’t agree with each other. [9]
    • If you and your partner haven’t had any major disagreements yet, that’s a sign that you may want to hold off on getting married just yet. Learning how to handle fights is important, and it’s something that most people want to learn about their partner before they commit to getting married.
    • Does your partner push you to grow? Do they challenge you in ways that were unexpected or ways that were welcomed and ways that maybe aren't certainly welcomed but make you a better person?
  7. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/0\/0b\/How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-10.jpg\/v4-460px-How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-10.jpg.png","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/0\/0b\/How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-10.jpg\/v4-728px-How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-10.jpg.png","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Marriage is a long-term commitment. In your vows, you’ll likely promise your partner that you’ll be there for them in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer. Make sure you feel comfortable staying with your partner even if life takes a turn for the worse. [10]
    • Similarly, think about whether or not your partner would stay by your side if things got tough. If you imagine them running for the hills instead of supporting you, it might be a good idea to hold off on marriage.
    8. Advertisement
Section 5 of 5:

Benefits of Waiting for Marriage

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/e\/ea\/How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-11.jpg\/v4-460px-How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-11.jpg.png","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/e\/ea\/How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-11.jpg\/v4-728px-How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-11.jpg.png","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    You can be totally in love with someone and still have more to learn about them. When you date for a while before getting married, there’s more of an opportunity to learn about who your partner is and what makes them tick. That way, you can be 100% sure about your decision to marry them. [11]
  2. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/a\/a3\/How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-12.jpg\/v4-460px-How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-12.jpg.png","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/a\/a3\/How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-12.jpg\/v4-728px-How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-12.jpg.png","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    When you’re in a relationship but not yet married, there’s a certain sense of independence that can be lost once you tie the knot. You can absolutely be your own person after marriage, too! But when you’re young, maintaining your friendships and hobbies is a little bit easier if you’re just dating. [12]
  3. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/d\/d3\/How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-13.jpg\/v4-460px-How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-13.jpg.png","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/d\/d3\/How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-13.jpg\/v4-728px-How-Long-to-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-20s-Step-13.jpg.png","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Weddings (and all that come with them) are expensive! When you’re in your 20s, you might not have a ton of savings put away to finance everything just yet. Waiting a little bit longer lets you and your partner build wealth together so you can have the wedding of your dreams. [13]
    4. Advertisement

How Long Should You Date Before Marriage?


Expert Q&A

Ask a Question
200 characters left
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
Submit
      Advertisement

      Tips

      Submit a Tip
      All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published
      Name
      Please provide your name and last initial
      Submit
      Thanks for submitting a tip for review!

      You Might Also Like

      170+ Deep, Heartfelt & Passionate Love Messages to Send Your Guy
      How to
      Turn a Girl On
      How to
      Make Your Girlfriend Want to Have Sex With You
      45 Sweet Paragraphs That’ll Make Your Girlfriend Cry
      How to
      Prepare for Your First Time for Guys
      28 Funny Jokes to Tell Your Girlfriend
      150+ Romantic & Funny Questions to Make Your Boyfriend Laugh
      How to
      Find Out if a Guy Secretly Likes You
      Signs a Woman is Sexually Attracted to You
      How to
      Tell if Your Boyfriend Is Gay
      24 Different Ways to Kiss Your Boyfriend (and Be a Better Kisser)
      Romantic and Thoughtful Texts to Send to Your Boyfriend to Make Him Feel Special
      How to
      Tell if Someone Has a Dating Profile
      How to
      Get Your Ex Back Fast by Text Message
      Advertisement

      References

      1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/meet-catch-and-keep/201710/how-long-should-you-date-getting-married
      2. ↑ https://www.vice.com/en/article/wjxy74/how-long-is-the-average-millennial-relationship
      3. ↑ https://www.countryliving.com/life/news/a44108/dating-before-marriage/
      4. ↑ https://www.today.com/health/what-know-getting-married-couples-therapist-advice-t122403
      5. ↑ https://www.today.com/health/what-know-getting-married-couples-therapist-advice-t122403
      6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/friendship-20/201705/18-questions-ask-getting-married
      7. ↑ https://www.today.com/health/what-know-getting-married-couples-therapist-advice-t122403
      8. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/friendship-20/201705/18-questions-ask-getting-married
      9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/friendship-20/201705/18-questions-ask-getting-married
      1. ↑ https://www.today.com/health/what-know-getting-married-couples-therapist-advice-t122403
      2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/friendship-20/201705/18-questions-ask-getting-married
      3. ↑ https://www.gottman.com/blog/3-reasons-millennials-are-waiting-to-get-married/
      4. ↑ https://www.today.com/health/what-know-getting-married-couples-therapist-advice-t122403

      About This Article

      Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 33,948 times.

      Did this article help you?

      Advertisement